Unvanishing pain(INCOMPLETE) by S.J. J. (positive books to read .txt) 📕

I never believed that i served a purpose in life. In fact i wonder why im even still breathing.The life i lived was never meant for a 16 year old girl.I've seen and done things not even grown men would think of but yet here i am.I was laying in my bed while thinking this. I was too scared to go down stairs so i've been laying here for hours examining life. oh pardon my manors my name is Anastasia Howard.I live in a small broken up house with my dad.As for my mom she was murded 4 years ago. I dont go to school....He doesnt let me.But i do virtual school online so im not behind. Just then i heard a banging on my room door causing it to shake off it hinges "Open the damn door!!" my father slurred. I said a quick silent prayer before slowly walking to the door and opening it.I instantly felt his hand slap across my face but i didnt scream nor cry.I mean if he was gonna beat the shit out of me i atleast wanted to be a hardass about it. I watched as he crept closer but i didnt move one bit which pissed him off even more.He then began beating me, punching my face until my eyes were too swollen to see anything.But through it all i didnt shed a single tear.I then heard him unzip his pants and i took a deep breathe as i began to prepare my self for what happened a milliion times before.He then entered his cock in me causing me too scream in agony he only smirked and began thrusting faster and faster.The pain was treachorus i wanted to fade into the blackness and never wake up. With each passing day death seemed more and more pleseant.Right when he was about to climax the doors flew open, to reveal a bunch of police officers. Who called them? i thought to myself. I never did get my answer instead my father was pulled off of me and i was wrapped in blankets.I was so out of it that i didnt realize when he had stabbed me and now that i did,i felt a wave of pain hit me and then there was darkness.

3 months later
The woman was gorgeous that i couldn't deny. she smiled at me warmly before saying
Karen: Hi I'm your aunt
Me: yea so i heard * rolling my eyes*

An awkward silence followed after my slick comment.Dianne then broke the silence by telling me that i would live with Karen.

Dianne: are you okay with that?
Me: Not like i ever have a say where i go anyways *getting up and walking towards the door.
Karen: where are you going?
Me: packing duh!
and with that i left the room hoping to sleep and never wake up. I thought of dying everyday and everyday dying sounds better and better.I'm not crazy.yea a bit suicidal but never crazy. Death just seems more pleasant then the life i already live. I got to my little room and began to pack for my new life.The new life that i didn't want.... the life that i wanted oh so bad to give away to some other unfortunate being. but i couldnt... so i just packed.

After i packed i said bye to Dianne and went home with karen.We just got off the plane but i still havent talked to her and frankly i dont want to.I miss Los Angeles i dont want to move to Georgia!!I am NOT a country girl!!I wish somebody would slit my throat already.Karen searched for some one as i sat in one of those uncomfortable chair thingys.Karen then sat next to me.

Karen: sooooo...how old are you?

Me: * mumbling* 16

Karen: wow!you could have fooled me

I got that alot.so i simply shrugged.my breast were big due to early puberty and wen i turned thirteen the rest of my body filled out.

Karen: my mother is running late
Me: i dont care * putting in head phones

Her mother came a few minutes later and as its as if beauty ran in the family hmm i guess it skipped a generation because I'm not the slightest bit attractive.

Lynn: Hi i'm Lynn * sticking out hand*
Me: I'm Anastasia... but call me Ana * staring at hand *

She put down her hand once she realize i wasn't going to shake it. we then all walked to her car and drove for about 40 minutes.When we finally came to a stop. i looked to see the most gorgeous house ever!!

My eyes literally popped out my head when i saw it.
Me: This is your house??!
Karen: yes mam.do you like it?
Me: its....gorgeous..'
she then smiled and helped me take my bag inside.Notice i said bag and not 'bags'. I don't have much to pack since my dad rarely bought me clothes. He wasn't always so mean and abusive.Once upon a time he was the best daddy ever...but mom when mom died he went ballistic drinking,smoking and gambling. At first he was sorry whenever he hurt me but as he grew older and more bitter, he began to blame me for things and beat me.
Karen: come on i'll show you your room
i followed her up two flights of stairs (this house had 4 floors!) and then we came to a stop.She oppened the door and revealed a gorgeous room decorated in pink.
Karen:so what do you think
Me: I hate pink....
Karen: oh..
An awkward silence followed afterwards.
Karen: well i'll let you get settled. *walking out my room*

Karen said the school i was going to be attending was Broad View High,it sounds like a preppy school and if you haven't noticed, i'm not preppy.MY outfit was pretty plain. I'm not one of those girls who obsess over clothes so i wore a fitted blue t-shirt and some black cargo shorts with my black and white converse.

I got dressed really fast because i wanted to avoid Karen. Luckily i did.I walked to school but i got lost a few times since didn't know where i was going but i eventually found it

. The school was straight i guess but I've seen waaaaayyyy better.I wondered in the school ignoring the stares and whispers.I finally found the front office and waited in a seat as the receptionist was busy dealing with some kid who looked like a juvenile delinquent.I know i'm a little mean and judgmental but this boy seriously looked like he should be in jail already. I mean if a cop saw him walking down the street he would probably stop him. 'Yall think i'm exaggerating but i am dead serious.He glanced my way then smiled. I didn't smile back though. He was a caramel type color and he was GORGEOUS.His diamond lip piercing look real and expensive.Matter of fact everthing on him lookeed expensive. Still looked like horrible company to keep though. He had hair that was curly and different shades of brown indicating that he was mixed. 
Mystery boy/possible thug: Hi I'm Jose but call me Jay



Me: Hi im Anastasia (I'm not gonna tell him my nick name because he looks like a raptist)
Jay : you new here?
Me: Yea i was just about to sign in
with that i walked away wanting to get away from him.He looked dangerous.When i was in foster care i hung out with those type of kids but now having friends doesn't interest me anymore. I mean whats the point of getting close to people when I'm gonna kill my self anyways. I've been thinking about it very often. Dying is easier. people don't hurt you. you feel no pain. Life is just....Easier when your dead. After getting my schedule i walked out of the office feeling really depressed. * sigh * i wish i'd get hit by a bus already. I felt eyes on me as i walked out. this must be a smaller town than i thought. Its like one of those towns on those TV shows where everybody knows everybody business. this is gonna be a looooonnnngggg day

*****

First block was decent i guess.i spent most of the time surveying the room rather than paying attention since i was already ahead thanks to the online courses i still take. My dad made me stop going to school when i was thirteen. It was because some boy liked me. i think his name was Julian? but anyways when dad found out i had friends or a friend as you might put it, he took me out immediately and signed me up for homeschooling saying that i would not spend another day there.Some kids would be glad to get out of school but i wasn't. school was like my 6 hour escape from my dad.It was what kept me sane.And now I'm this big ball of confusion and insanity.A coffee colored girl with black weave and big boobs which were obviously fake, then came to my desk interrupting my thoughts.I was so wrapped up i didn't even realize we were in Third block already
Coffee girl: Yu miz Karen niece?
Me: why do you care * Rolling eyes *
Coffee: Don't needa get all stank!i was jus askin!damn! don't wanna talk to your ratchet tail anyways!
Me: