Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

   "Are you still angry with me?" he wanted to know.

    "You can't expect me to give you a toothpaste commercial smile after you clearly broke up with me." The kiss was amaze-balls, but I didn't want to admit.

   Rowan chuckled, and I liked the sound of his laugh. It was probably another one of my last's with him. "Thank you for the gifts. I like that jacket a lot and also the photograph."

    "You can just get rid of that photograph." I said sourly. "I don't think your future girlfriends need to see that one."

   He threw me a pointed look, one that I'd been accustomed to since a year now. It used to scare me before, but now, not so much.

  "What about the letter? Did you read it?"

   I watched a few wheels turning in his head as he debated whether I would see through his lie or not. "I haven't" he said truthfully.

   "Why?"

   "Because if I read it, I know it's going to be even harder to let you go."

   "Use it as a toilet paper and flush it down." I blurted out.

   "Alana!" he frowned. "Some advice, you need to control your verbal diarrhea and cut down on your insults." 

    "Too bad, I don't take advice from ex-boyfriends or ex-professors anymore."

    Rowan sighed.

    "I need to go." I said finally.

   "Be safe." Rowan placed a kiss on my forehead, still holding my hand, neither of us letting go off each other. He wasn't saying the word 'Goodbye'. I wondered why since this was probably the last time we saw each other.

    We stared for what felt like hours and he was the first to pull his hand away from mine. I instantly missed the warmth of his touch, but I didn't say anything because Rowan was a stubborn man. He would never admit that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting me. I gripped the bag-pack tightly, wheeling the trolley away from him towards the main entrance of the airport.

   He was still standing, looking so fucking handsome even with his tired eyes and shabby hair that I had a burning urge to run back into his arms, but I couldn't. I waved at him once, and he waved back. A shadow of a smile lingering over his face, what I knew was a forced smile.

    The doors closed and I didn't look back through the transparent doors because it was hard as it is. Kind of like I was keeping a piece of my heart here in Denmark.

   I never knew goodbyes would be so hard.              

****

     Nina was already waiting outside the airport for me with a huge ass sign board that said 'Welcome back future wife of the professor' which I may add was super corny and getting too much attention from the crowd at the airport. It seemed like some of them were very keen to see this alleged future wife of the professor. Sadly, I needed to break the bubble soon. I wasn't anticipating Nina's reaction.

      She wrapped me in a warm hug, passing me that infectious smile. "Hey! Welcome back."

    I snatched the sign board from her and turned the back to the front. "Where's Chez?"

  "He is at KFC, buying a bucket. We are so gonna have fun tonight. Let's ditch that asshole and have a girls night. We will marathon every fucking DVD you have and..."

  "Wait. Why are all these girls night always in my dorm room?" I asked as we both slipped into Chez's Mustang. Nina took over the driver's seat. Nina's driving was as bad as a roller coaster on loose hinges, but I wasn't in a mood to complain.

    "Because you have the biggest room." She said, "So..."

    I knew what she wanted to know. Her eyes sparkled.

   I pretended to love the view outside.

   "So...." She said again, "You know, I need details about this trip that I spent god knows how much.  How was your pre-marriage honeymoon? Like I know you guys must have fucked like bunnies, but you were safe weren't you?  Like, you don't want a Minnie part two..."

  "Nina.."

    "Stop with all the suspense and tell me."

  "We broke up." As soon as the words left out of my mouth, she pressed so hard on the brakes that people honked. Some even showed us the finger as they left honking and throwing a string of curses.

  "Shut up!" Nina said in the same exaggerated way of hers. "It's too soon for April Fools."

  "I'm not joking. We are not together anymore."

   "Please don't cry, Alana."

   "I'm not crying." I'd done all the crying on the plane that I'd probably used up every box of tissue available on flight.

  "We need a refund from Mr. Masters." Nina was parked in the middle of the road. "We are so gonna egg his apartment."

  "He is in Denmark. Nobody would care even if you threw grenades."

  "Babe, we don't need no KFC bucket." Nina said as she put the car into drive almost dramatically, "We are going to Baskin Robins, and I'm going to treat you to the biggest double chocolate chip ice-cream you've ever had. Trust me, you will forget Rowan Masters like he was that—" she pointed at a random lean boy on the street. "passerby on the road. You just wait."

     I started laughing. I laughed so hard. Nina joined in and then the tears began pouring down my face.

Stupid Heart. Stupid tears.

  I realized that getting over Rowan Masters was going to be hard. Double chocolate chip ice-cream worked for only about as long as the ice-cream lasted. Nina and I went back to my dorm like we had decided and I told Chez I wasn't okay so he wouldn't nag me into having dinner with him. After everything that he had done for me, he didn't need to see me like this. Nina did everything in her power to keep my mind away from Rowan, she even slept that night in my room and gave me space while I cried in my pillow.

    I knew I still had a dozen more nights of crying left to do.

***