PENALTY by Annika Sturm (best contemporary novels TXT) π
Excerpt from the book:
This is the story of two boys, two friends, two professional footballers. One day they discover they have feelings for each other that go beyond just friendship. Suddenly the boys find themselves having to make difficult decisions with life changing consequences. Together they embark on a tough journey against prejudice and discrimination. Can their affection for each other survive in the world of football?
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of geographic facts and references of football teams and tournaments, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of geographic facts and references of football teams and tournaments, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
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- Author: Annika Sturm
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phone and had two missed calls from Tom. 'God,' he shook his head, 'what am I going to do?' Felix looked at him. 'Play the game as you were told until we have a plan tomorrow. It'll be hard for you both but we have to follow his rules until we know what we're doing.' Alex nodded sadly. 'You won't tell him. Will you?' Felix hugged him. 'Of course not. I won't tell anyone anything,' he winked at him, 'try and get some sleep.' Felix waited until Alex had closed the door behind him and then tiptoed towards his own room hoping no-one had heard or seen them.
Alex collapsed onto the floor in his room feeling drained and exhausted. He couldn't face going to bed. It was still unmade from earlier, when the boysβ world was still a happy place. In the end he just curled up on the sofa and eventually fell asleep.
It was a gentle knock on the door that woke Alex up. He had lost any feeling of time and had no idea whether it was morning or still the middle of the night. He jumped when he heard a second knock. He got up and opened the door. 'Tommy,' Alex whispered staring at his friend. His friend's eyes were red from crying or lack of sleep. Or both, 'come in.' He quietly said and let him into his room. Tom closed the door behind him. For a moment none of the boys spoke. They just looked at each other. 'I was worried about you,' Tom said quietly, 'I didn't know if you and Felix made it back to the hotel or what was going on,' he paused, 'I didn't sleep all night. Why didn't you come and see me?' Tom gulped and Alex just stared. 'Alex,' Tom moved towards him and tried to kiss him but Alex turned away, 'why are you torturing me like this?', Tom shouted in despair, 'God, what happened? What have I done?' He cried. 'Nothing,' Alex looked at him and took his hands, 'you have done nothing wrong. Okay? You have to believe me. None of this is your fault.' Alex gasped for air as he touched him. Tom tried to kiss him again but Alex walked away. 'It's like I've lost you', Tom shouted, 'I have a right to know what's going on!' He sat down on the bed as he started crying in frustration and Alex was standing by the window silently staring outside.
Tom took a deep breath. 'Or was this all just a game for you, a bit of fun? And now you're bored of your new toy?' He laughed bitterly. Alex shook his head. 'Tommy. Please don't.' 'I thought you love me,' Tom pushed him, 'at least that's what you said.' He sounded exhausted. 'Tommy. Please.' Alex closed his eyes and felt tears streaming down his face. 'If you at least had the guts to be honest with me and just tell me you never meant a word you said!' Tom shouted at him. 'Christ Tommy, you should know me better than that!' Alex cried angrily and Tom stared at him. He stood up and slowly walked towards him. 'I just don't understand. Help me understand Alex. Please.' Tom whispered and Alex had to turn away from him again. 'I can't!' He shouted in frustration and tears.
Then there was a knock on the door. 'Alex, let me in quickly,' it was Felix's voice. Alex wiped the tears off his face and went to open the door, 'hey,' Felix pushed his way in quickly and shut the door, 'how are you feeling? How is the hand?' He hugged him and only noticed Tom then. Felix walked straight towards him and hugged him as well. 'Tommy, you look bright and raring to go.' He joked. Tom shook his head and forced a laugh. He looked at Alex frustratedly. 'I seem to just be wasting my time here.' He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.
Alex sat down on the bed and started breathing hard. 'Hey, hey, Alex.' Felix sat down next to him. He stroked his back gently and tried to calm him down. 'He's starting to resent me. Markus will get his way after all.' 'Nonsense, he loves you. It'll take more than this for him to resent you,' Felix checked his watch worriedly, 'Alex, you need to get changed. Training starts in 10 minutes and you are still in your clothes from last night.' 'I feel sick.' Alex mumbled. 'Yes I know but you are going to have to pull yourself together,' he smiled confidently, 'I think I have a plan.'
Alex tried not to look at Markus or Tom throughout the morning session. He found it hard to focus to start with but actually the training helped clear his head and get rid of some of his anger and frustration. He scored some impressive goals during the session and was applauded by his coach. Whenever Alex did watch Tom, he could tell he was doing the same. He played quickly and sharply, using the exercise to let off steam.
'You were good this morning. Considering!' Felix patted Alex's back as he sat down next to him at lunch. 'Thank you. I feel utterly shattered,' Alex looked at him, 'Felix, I have to thank you again for all your help. I honestly don't know what Iβd do without you.' 'You should thank Tommy.' Alex gazed at Tom, who was sat on the other side of the room. To Alex's agony, he was joking and laughing with his friends and one person in particular was too close to him for his liking. Kai constantly had his arm around Tom's shoulders and made him laugh. Felix nudged Alex gently. 'Hey, you need to eat some food,' he leant closer to him, 'don't worry about Kai,' he winked at him, 'he is definitely not gay,' Alex blushed and tried to force some of his food down, 'for the moment I'd rather Tommy is a little bit distracted until we have sorted Markus Twat out, hey?', Alex nodded, he was still struggling to eat anything, 'I spoke to Tommy briefly earlier.' Alex looked at him expectantly. 'And?' 'Well, all I said was that I managed to calm you down a bit yesterday but I'm not clear yet as to what happened either.' 'Thank you.' Alex whispered. 'We need to get this sorted though Alex. Tommy is sick with worry and heartache,' he looked at him, 'just like you.' He gently patted the back of his head. Alex had given up on his lunch and pushed it away from him.
'Okay, so here is what I think. You are welcome to disagree of course but to be honest I don't think we have many options,' Alex looked at Felix intently waiting for him to lay down the game plan, 'the only way we can beat Markus with his own weapons and deter him from running off to his mates from the press is to first of all have proof of him threatening you,' Alex frowned, 'I know what you are going to say but I have a plan for getting that proof,β he winked at him, 'secondly I'm afraid I think we have to get Winter involved and make him aware that this kind of blackmail is going on. But only once we managed to get the evidence,' Alex looked terrified, 'he thinks very highly of you and Tommy, Alex. He would hate it if he knew you are suffering like this. And he is a very decent man. He would throw Markus out of the team without batting an eyelid if he knew the extent of this.' Alex didn't feel comfortable but took a minute to think about it. 'But how do I prove it?' Felix took a deep breath.
'I'm afraid you will have to go back into the dragon's den,' Alex frowned confused, 'you need to confront him again. Alone. But this time you will record the whole conversation on your phone,' Alex stared at him, 'we'll take it straight to Winter and tell him everything. He will confront Markus, who of course will see it as the breaking of his rules laid out to you. But the leverage is that with the proof, Winter will threaten to kick him out and tell his friends from the press what a nasty piece of work he really is,' Felix smiled, 'he won't dare destroy his own reputation. Will he?' He finished his water and looked pleased.
Alex was unsure but the more he thought about it the more he felt that this could work. Then he shook his head again. 'What if he tells the press anyway? What if Winter is not on our side?' 'I can't imagine our manager supporting this kind of behaviour in this team. In fact I am convinced he wouldn't,' he sighed, 'I don't know if Markus would tell the press regardless. He might,' Felix put his arm around Alex, 'but then at least we tried. Right?', he smiled at him encouragingly, 'you owe Tommy that Alex. He doesn't deserve this.' Alex nodded but the tears came back. 'Oh God,' he rubbed his eyes, 'I'm so tired.' He laughed sadly. 'So, after training this afternoon, you go and look for Markus in his room. Before dinner.' Alex gulped. 'What am I going to say?' 'Tell him you want to talk about it again. It needs to look like you are trying to convince him to take back his threat,' Alex nodded, 'make sure you make him repeat his game plan,' Felix gave him a disapproving look, 'you hardly touched your lunch.' 'I can't eat.' 'How is the hand?' 'Oh, I had forgotten about that.' Alex laughed but sounded really tired again. 'Have it checked out after training. We need to go back now. Come on.'
Alex suffered physically in the afternoon. Felix kept an eye on him and watched with concern whenever Markus came near him to shout at him. He'd manage to either distract Markus or he'd pass the ball to Alex so he couldn't stop and had to focus on the game again. Tom also became increasingly worried as he observed his friend battling through the afternoon, clearly suffering. At one point he was running straight towards him to check he was okay. 'Leave him, I'll check on him.' Felix said as he ran past Tom, who stopped and cursed but trusted Felix's judgment. And ran the other way.
Alex was relieved when the afternoon session was over. He was about to head off to the showers when his coach stopped him. 'Alex. Do you have a minute?' Winter asked. Alex hesitated. 'Yeah. Sure.' His manager put his arm around his shoulders and gently led him away from the other boys. He smiled at him. 'I just wanted to make sure you are alright. You looked exhausted at training this afternoon. And what happened to your hand?' 'Oh,' Alex hid his bandaged hand behind his back, 'it's nothing really, just a little cut. I'll get it checked out by the doctors now,β he paused and scratched his head, 'it happened quite late last night.' Winter nodded. 'Well, I hope you know that my door is always open so if there is anything you want to talk to me about, then you know where to find me, yeah?' He looked at him intently. 'Sure, sure. Yes I know. Thank you though.' Alex headed back towards the showers and took a deep breath.
Just before he reached the changing rooms, he saw Tom in the corridor leaning against the wall. He was obviously waiting for him. Alex's heart started racing. 'Hey,' Tom said quietly and smiled nervously, 'how's your hand?' Alex gazed at him. 'It's alright thanks.' He gulped. 'Alex,' Tom whispered and shook his head, 'I'm sorry about this morning,' he paused, 'I didn't mean what
Alex collapsed onto the floor in his room feeling drained and exhausted. He couldn't face going to bed. It was still unmade from earlier, when the boysβ world was still a happy place. In the end he just curled up on the sofa and eventually fell asleep.
It was a gentle knock on the door that woke Alex up. He had lost any feeling of time and had no idea whether it was morning or still the middle of the night. He jumped when he heard a second knock. He got up and opened the door. 'Tommy,' Alex whispered staring at his friend. His friend's eyes were red from crying or lack of sleep. Or both, 'come in.' He quietly said and let him into his room. Tom closed the door behind him. For a moment none of the boys spoke. They just looked at each other. 'I was worried about you,' Tom said quietly, 'I didn't know if you and Felix made it back to the hotel or what was going on,' he paused, 'I didn't sleep all night. Why didn't you come and see me?' Tom gulped and Alex just stared. 'Alex,' Tom moved towards him and tried to kiss him but Alex turned away, 'why are you torturing me like this?', Tom shouted in despair, 'God, what happened? What have I done?' He cried. 'Nothing,' Alex looked at him and took his hands, 'you have done nothing wrong. Okay? You have to believe me. None of this is your fault.' Alex gasped for air as he touched him. Tom tried to kiss him again but Alex walked away. 'It's like I've lost you', Tom shouted, 'I have a right to know what's going on!' He sat down on the bed as he started crying in frustration and Alex was standing by the window silently staring outside.
Tom took a deep breath. 'Or was this all just a game for you, a bit of fun? And now you're bored of your new toy?' He laughed bitterly. Alex shook his head. 'Tommy. Please don't.' 'I thought you love me,' Tom pushed him, 'at least that's what you said.' He sounded exhausted. 'Tommy. Please.' Alex closed his eyes and felt tears streaming down his face. 'If you at least had the guts to be honest with me and just tell me you never meant a word you said!' Tom shouted at him. 'Christ Tommy, you should know me better than that!' Alex cried angrily and Tom stared at him. He stood up and slowly walked towards him. 'I just don't understand. Help me understand Alex. Please.' Tom whispered and Alex had to turn away from him again. 'I can't!' He shouted in frustration and tears.
Then there was a knock on the door. 'Alex, let me in quickly,' it was Felix's voice. Alex wiped the tears off his face and went to open the door, 'hey,' Felix pushed his way in quickly and shut the door, 'how are you feeling? How is the hand?' He hugged him and only noticed Tom then. Felix walked straight towards him and hugged him as well. 'Tommy, you look bright and raring to go.' He joked. Tom shook his head and forced a laugh. He looked at Alex frustratedly. 'I seem to just be wasting my time here.' He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.
Alex sat down on the bed and started breathing hard. 'Hey, hey, Alex.' Felix sat down next to him. He stroked his back gently and tried to calm him down. 'He's starting to resent me. Markus will get his way after all.' 'Nonsense, he loves you. It'll take more than this for him to resent you,' Felix checked his watch worriedly, 'Alex, you need to get changed. Training starts in 10 minutes and you are still in your clothes from last night.' 'I feel sick.' Alex mumbled. 'Yes I know but you are going to have to pull yourself together,' he smiled confidently, 'I think I have a plan.'
Alex tried not to look at Markus or Tom throughout the morning session. He found it hard to focus to start with but actually the training helped clear his head and get rid of some of his anger and frustration. He scored some impressive goals during the session and was applauded by his coach. Whenever Alex did watch Tom, he could tell he was doing the same. He played quickly and sharply, using the exercise to let off steam.
'You were good this morning. Considering!' Felix patted Alex's back as he sat down next to him at lunch. 'Thank you. I feel utterly shattered,' Alex looked at him, 'Felix, I have to thank you again for all your help. I honestly don't know what Iβd do without you.' 'You should thank Tommy.' Alex gazed at Tom, who was sat on the other side of the room. To Alex's agony, he was joking and laughing with his friends and one person in particular was too close to him for his liking. Kai constantly had his arm around Tom's shoulders and made him laugh. Felix nudged Alex gently. 'Hey, you need to eat some food,' he leant closer to him, 'don't worry about Kai,' he winked at him, 'he is definitely not gay,' Alex blushed and tried to force some of his food down, 'for the moment I'd rather Tommy is a little bit distracted until we have sorted Markus Twat out, hey?', Alex nodded, he was still struggling to eat anything, 'I spoke to Tommy briefly earlier.' Alex looked at him expectantly. 'And?' 'Well, all I said was that I managed to calm you down a bit yesterday but I'm not clear yet as to what happened either.' 'Thank you.' Alex whispered. 'We need to get this sorted though Alex. Tommy is sick with worry and heartache,' he looked at him, 'just like you.' He gently patted the back of his head. Alex had given up on his lunch and pushed it away from him.
'Okay, so here is what I think. You are welcome to disagree of course but to be honest I don't think we have many options,' Alex looked at Felix intently waiting for him to lay down the game plan, 'the only way we can beat Markus with his own weapons and deter him from running off to his mates from the press is to first of all have proof of him threatening you,' Alex frowned, 'I know what you are going to say but I have a plan for getting that proof,β he winked at him, 'secondly I'm afraid I think we have to get Winter involved and make him aware that this kind of blackmail is going on. But only once we managed to get the evidence,' Alex looked terrified, 'he thinks very highly of you and Tommy, Alex. He would hate it if he knew you are suffering like this. And he is a very decent man. He would throw Markus out of the team without batting an eyelid if he knew the extent of this.' Alex didn't feel comfortable but took a minute to think about it. 'But how do I prove it?' Felix took a deep breath.
'I'm afraid you will have to go back into the dragon's den,' Alex frowned confused, 'you need to confront him again. Alone. But this time you will record the whole conversation on your phone,' Alex stared at him, 'we'll take it straight to Winter and tell him everything. He will confront Markus, who of course will see it as the breaking of his rules laid out to you. But the leverage is that with the proof, Winter will threaten to kick him out and tell his friends from the press what a nasty piece of work he really is,' Felix smiled, 'he won't dare destroy his own reputation. Will he?' He finished his water and looked pleased.
Alex was unsure but the more he thought about it the more he felt that this could work. Then he shook his head again. 'What if he tells the press anyway? What if Winter is not on our side?' 'I can't imagine our manager supporting this kind of behaviour in this team. In fact I am convinced he wouldn't,' he sighed, 'I don't know if Markus would tell the press regardless. He might,' Felix put his arm around Alex, 'but then at least we tried. Right?', he smiled at him encouragingly, 'you owe Tommy that Alex. He doesn't deserve this.' Alex nodded but the tears came back. 'Oh God,' he rubbed his eyes, 'I'm so tired.' He laughed sadly. 'So, after training this afternoon, you go and look for Markus in his room. Before dinner.' Alex gulped. 'What am I going to say?' 'Tell him you want to talk about it again. It needs to look like you are trying to convince him to take back his threat,' Alex nodded, 'make sure you make him repeat his game plan,' Felix gave him a disapproving look, 'you hardly touched your lunch.' 'I can't eat.' 'How is the hand?' 'Oh, I had forgotten about that.' Alex laughed but sounded really tired again. 'Have it checked out after training. We need to go back now. Come on.'
Alex suffered physically in the afternoon. Felix kept an eye on him and watched with concern whenever Markus came near him to shout at him. He'd manage to either distract Markus or he'd pass the ball to Alex so he couldn't stop and had to focus on the game again. Tom also became increasingly worried as he observed his friend battling through the afternoon, clearly suffering. At one point he was running straight towards him to check he was okay. 'Leave him, I'll check on him.' Felix said as he ran past Tom, who stopped and cursed but trusted Felix's judgment. And ran the other way.
Alex was relieved when the afternoon session was over. He was about to head off to the showers when his coach stopped him. 'Alex. Do you have a minute?' Winter asked. Alex hesitated. 'Yeah. Sure.' His manager put his arm around his shoulders and gently led him away from the other boys. He smiled at him. 'I just wanted to make sure you are alright. You looked exhausted at training this afternoon. And what happened to your hand?' 'Oh,' Alex hid his bandaged hand behind his back, 'it's nothing really, just a little cut. I'll get it checked out by the doctors now,β he paused and scratched his head, 'it happened quite late last night.' Winter nodded. 'Well, I hope you know that my door is always open so if there is anything you want to talk to me about, then you know where to find me, yeah?' He looked at him intently. 'Sure, sure. Yes I know. Thank you though.' Alex headed back towards the showers and took a deep breath.
Just before he reached the changing rooms, he saw Tom in the corridor leaning against the wall. He was obviously waiting for him. Alex's heart started racing. 'Hey,' Tom said quietly and smiled nervously, 'how's your hand?' Alex gazed at him. 'It's alright thanks.' He gulped. 'Alex,' Tom whispered and shook his head, 'I'm sorry about this morning,' he paused, 'I didn't mean what
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