She is the one by Asheslove (book recommendations for young adults txt) 📕

Five days had passed since my kidnapping and two days since Nicolas opened a little in front of me and shared something about him. 

I opened the window of his room letting the cold winds barge in as he locked the balcony due to over protectivness. The night was peach black with stars and moon hiding behind the thick blanket of clouds which were flashing with lights. The branches of trees dance with the buzzing sound of winds like someone is humming indicating soon to be arrival of rain.

December is going to start from tomorrow onwards, I am calculating each and every single day passing here since he kidnapped me again. December used to be the most wonderful month for me in the whole year. 

If you look around then most of the children of my age loves to live alone instead of being with family. Most of their parents already gotten divorce and if not then parents left their kids to live their lives on their own but in my case it's completely different and opposite. I always love to stay with my family rather than alone. Love always keeps our family bind together in all these years however hard the circumstances were. 

The decision of going to LA is the hardest decision I ever made in my life, staying away from my parents and brother is the toughest task for me to do but for pursuing my dreams I took the hard pill and that time there were many other reasons then. Running away from reality is always a lot more easier than facing it, I wanted myself to be busy, too busy so that I could hide myself from the curtains of my own compunction, with that I also wanted to release my parents from extra worry and whatever they were been with me all the time because their tension never left them free but never in my dreams I ever dreamt to be away from them like this.

Everything slowly settled, first month was really tough to manage without them in LA, for once I thought of going back to Newyork. Mom was always on my side but dad convinced me to give it a shot and then it started to change with time, when I once found work to do and with that Julie used to be always there for me whenever I needed. I did missed them then but I never thought my life will brought me in this where I got stuck with a criminal with nowhere to go or do anything.

I never stayed away from my parents this long, I stayed away from them in LA but at least I would be in continue contact with them then and I never misses the smallest opportunity I grab in my hands to go and meet them. I never thought life can be this cruel with me; this is far from the cruelty I thought, faced and seen.

By now snow must would've started to fall in America with the kids anxiously waiting for their holidays. Well not only kids but everyone, I mean who won't like holidays; I do love holidays from my childhood.

My brother would love playing in snow; he started to wait eagerly for snow before November. Mom would make him wear layers of cloth worried of frost bite and he looks like a walking pile of cloths or a round ball. If you touch him he falls down instantly. I would love making fun of him looking like clothed clown with extra red nose in winters.

He roll in ice, hide in it while playing covering himself with snow, all the while dad, mom and I kept giggling looking at his childish plays.

We together make snowman, snow forts and snow volcanoes. I put a cup in between the snow volcano and adding vinegar show him how it erupted. He jumped cheerfully clapping his hands together calling mom and dad to come and watch with us.

I taught him how to make snow castle, he helped me filling the cups with snow to build a castle and after we finish he call all his neighborhood friends to show them, telling everyone that he build it with a proud chest. He taught them how to make acting all bossy advising them like a teacher. They play together while at the meantime I fill some squirt bottles with water and colors, and paint on the snow making it canvas. After that we used remaining colors to decorate whatever the stuff we made.

He loves irritating me and I never mind it, I actually mind when he won't do that so when I and dad roast marshmallows he threw snowballs at me, this used to be his favorite game to play and he won't stop till I got irritated and run back at him, he then hide behind my mother taking advantage of her extra love who won't let me come near him and even say something to her beloved son. He then made silly faces at me cheering on his victory while mom, dad and I kept laughing all the time looking at his cute faces.

How I miss all that days terribly now.

Last year since I was in LA I finished my work before the holidays start and they went just enjoyable as always but this time I am stuck. Stuck in a way that even if I want to I can't find a way out from this. I was never this despondent in my life like I am now, not even in the hardest time I went through.

The clouds thundered like burst and rain started pouring heavily same as my dispersing emotions. I sat at the edge of the window leaning my back on the wall and stretched out my hand letting icy droplets falling hard on my hand feeling their heaviness. The chill winds hit me passing through my body as I deluge in my thoughts.

It's hard to adapt according to Nicolas lifestyle but to my disappointment I am adapting and not only this lifestyle foremost I am adapting to him. 

The hard it is to accept for me now more hard is to not want him because somehow I got attached to him even after whatever he made me go through. Its turning more like he is penetrating through the walls to enter my soul and I can't stop that from happening. There is no denying that I felt safe with him, the man who causes all the pain also gave me the comfort I got from no other one but him. I don't have nightmares anymore; I don't wake up crying and screaming in nights. In the reality of this cruel world I didn't even realize when did my remorse and contrition of my actions left me. I realized it now when I didn't have any nightmare even after everything happened five days ago, they were gone like never exists.