She is the one by Asheslove (book recommendations for young adults txt) 📕

'What happened' he asked in a soft tone walking near to me, there was not any ounce of tiredness on his feature.

'Let me catch my breath... I...I can't walk anymore' I said gulping my saliva to ease my dry throat.

'Just a little further baby' Nicolas said forwarding his hand at me to take.

I looked at his hand and then the trail in front of us only to saw we are not even near to end.

I shook my hand at him pushing his hand aside.

'No...I can't, my feet are hurting like hell' I said from my heavy pants.

For once he hesitated; his fingers roamed in his hairs and then did unthinkable. He bent down in front of me and patted his shoulder.

'Come on'.

I stared at his back with raised eyebrows but then wrapped my arms around his broad shoulder. He got up and I wrapped my legs around him as he started walking carrying me on his back without any effort or tiredness. We soon reached on the top of the hill and I got down on my feet from his back. 

I look at the broken cliff, the full moon came in view illuminating the darkness as one could clearly see things with the amazing view of city from the top.

'I used to hang out here' he said softly when saw me looking amazed.

'Quit a place to hang out' I replied but he didn't said anything and ignoring my mock comment led me towards the edge of the broken cliff. 

He sat down on the edge dangling his legs in air and pulled me with him. Despite the fear I felt looking down from such height I sat close to Nicolas holding his hand, our sides almost brushing. At first it was frightening to look down but at the same time the beautiful view made it worth the fear. 

Beyond the tress the city was crystal clear bathed in bright light and darkness at the same time, the tall buildings, towers small houses all were clear looking like small bulbs lighting from far above?

The silence was comforting so I wrapped it around me and didn't feel the internal urge to push Nicolas down of the cliff.

'It’s beautiful' I whispered and Nicolas tangled our fingers together filling the gaps.

'Do you believe in God or redemption Elena' he asked looking at front.

His sudden question shocked.

'I do, I believe both in God and redemption and I also believe no one can run from their deeds whatever they do' I whispered stressing on last sentence in a mock way telling more to him.

'Is that why you feel guilty and blame yourself for taking someone life' he asked in the same tone and it took me off guard. He actually surprised me that he wanted to talk about how I feel, he never cared about my feelings ever before, neither he cared now because if he do then he'll leave me instead of keeping me as a hostage against my will.

'What do you know about guilty conscience Nicolas' I huffed in, how could he know, he don't even have conscience.

'I feel guilty because I did wrong, nothing in this world can justify a death'. 

'Whatever he did but that doesn't gave me the right to took his life, no one gave me the right to took someone's life, to took a human life. It felt horrible when you look at yourself in mirror only to see a murderer. You won't be able to see in your eyes because you fears of the monster standing and looking back at you and all you can do is repentance feeling guilty and remorse' I replied lowly looking blankly at the city more to myself then telling him but then I collected myself and said.

'But you’ll not understand Nicolas, you kill people every day. You have no regards of human life, you took lives without any hesitation, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s that easy for you. You can't understand how it felt when you looked at yourself in the mirror with a burden of a human life on you and hands covered in his blood' I murmured looking at hands. He didn't said anything.

'Do YOU believe in God Nicolas' I said not being able to stop myself from asking even though already knowing the answer.

He chuckled on my words.

'I don't, I don't believe in God Elena, neither do I believe in redemption. You are right I don't feel guilty of taking someone’s life, I don't even gave a thought before snapping someone's neck because people in my world don't know the terms like guilt, regret, remorse or grief and those who do can't survive here. I know you are not like us but I have something to tell you' said he.

'Bethany is catholic, even being criminal she is very religious' he told.

'Ya, I know, I had seen the wooden beaded plus in her neck' I recalled when I saw here in the party, it’s fucking ridiculous that criminals who took lives mercilessly without a second thought believes in religion, morals and god.

'You are quick to catch things' he said smiling.

'She used to say something which I never understand.'

'Whenever she killed someone she looked at the dead corpse and always says, you’ll Thanks me for sending you where you belong' 

I looked at Nicolas not knowing what does that mean, how can someone says this after taking their lives. I’d heard very less about Bethany but from whatever I heard about her I came to know every one of these criminals used to work for her, even Nicolas.

‘Sometimes she used to say, it’s not us who chose to decide who lives or dies, we all just work as a flick and we only flick that switch, so maybe in your case it was not you to blame’ he said looking straight in my eyes.

I heard his words understanding the deep meaning behind those not knowing whether they are true or not. Nobody said something like this to me before and I am hearing these words from no one but a criminal himself.

‘I don’t understand your criminal minds Nicolas, I am not like you people who kill someone and then thank them, I am a normal human being and in my world people are not like in yours. We feel guilty for doing wrong and even regret it' I whispered and turned my head back towards the glowing city.