She is the one by Asheslove (book recommendations for young adults txt) 📕

I opened my eyes with a gasp and found myself lying in the hospital bed with few electrodes attached to my body including a drip. I looked down at my cloths in hurry remembering the last events only to saw myself wearing neat hospital gown and released a deep breath.

My eyes roamed in the room and ended at the corner where Michael was sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper in his hands.

I swiftly sat on the bed before rubbing my groogy eyes to clear my vision feeling thirsty.

I looked at my side and arched my back to reach the jar of water placed on the table near the bed.

'Elena' I heard my name from Michael and stopping in my way looked at him taking my hand back. He quickly folded the newspaper putting it aside and makes his way towards me.

'You should have called me' he said softly and filling the glass of water from jar forwards it towards me.

'Thanks' I said smiling taking the glass and gulped the water in two drifts.

'More?' he asked but I denied moving my head in no.             

'How are you feeling now' he asked politely standing near the bed.

I looked at him and only thought crossed my mind.

'My family. Michael, what about my family? Are they safe, does Nicolas did something to them, did he hurt them' I asked panicking clutching the glass tightly in my hands, my heart started beating erratically as tears filled my eyes only by thinking about the possibilities of what should happened behind me.

'Hey, relax Elena they are fine, Nicolas didn't even touch them, why will he do that' he replied politely taking the glass from my hands and putting it aside.

'They are safe?' I asked again as I felt the soon the panic rise it turned down.

'Yes they are but why did you thought he will hurt them'. He asked with scrunched eyebrows.

'I don't know maybe he would have thought I escaped him again.' I whispered in a low voice.

'You didn't escaped him Elena, you were kidnapped' he said softly, his face look tired and weary like he didn't sleep last night.

'How are you feeling now?' He asked again.

'I am fine but what happened to your face, looking like you didn't got any sleep' I asked softly smiling at him.

'Guess I didn't but I am fine. Nicolas told me to watch over you and stay at your side while you were out' he told giving me a cheeky smile.

Everything runs like hot flashes through my mind as I remembered everything which happened before I closed my eyes.

'Who are those people who kidnapped me?' I asked looking at his face.

'Let me call the doctor' saying this instead Michael turned to left the room.

'Michael wait, where is Nicolas' I asked from behind a little tensed.

He turned and gave me a sly grin.

'He had gone on complete rampage hunting down everyone who were involved in your kidnapping' he told and left the room.

After few minutes Andrea entered in the room with a nurse and passed me a gentle smile.

'How are you feeling now' she asked politely.

'Good' I replied.

She checked my BP before monitoring my heartbeat.

'For how long I was passed out' I asked her when she was checking the pulse rate.

'Two days, you've been in and out for hours after being brought here so I put you under sedation' she told.

'Everything seems fine, looks like your condition improved from last time' she said and I gave her confusing look with questioning eyes, what does she mean by my condition improved.

'So, do you still have anxiety attacks or nightmares like before' she asked softly.

'What?' I asked in confusion.

'What? What? I asked, do you still wake up screaming due to nightmares and panic attacks in nights like you used to have before' she asked again.

'I mean...no, I don't or if I had they won't be too serve to jolt me awake but how do you know?' I asked surprised.

'I asked you when the first time you had a panic attack that whether you had any type of disorder or trauma looking at your condition but you refused to tell'.

'Nicolas told me about your trauma and how serve your condition is. I told him to keep you away from things that trigger you like blood or any situation like that which trigger your memories but I also know it will be like impossible in the world he lives in so I also prescribed and included some antidepressants in your medicines to help you' she told.

Her answer left me perplexed and puzzled in shock. I remembered taking the medicines which Leo gave me last time I was admitted at hospital after the attack at hotel, after they finished Nicolas brought few more of them with birth control pills but I never noticed what they were for.

'How it can be possible, he doesn’t know about my trauma' I whispered more to myself in flabbergasted state.

'Well, he does but he didn't wanted you to know that he know and don't be so hard on yourself Elena sometimes the situations were not under our control and saving someone's life matters a lot more than taking someone’s life, I am sure you've understand this after staying in this world'.

'You can come to me if you still need help because of the recent events'

She said smiling and telling the nurse to remove the electrodes and cannula attached to me she left the room leaving me in shock.

Michael did the formalitites of hospital and at evening brought me back. Telling me Nicolas is not at home and asking me once again I am fine or not he turn his car and left.

I entered in and maids give me their best smiles with concern in their eyes. I smiled at them and without saying anything went straight in the room.

I strip and entered in the shower, a lot was running through my head. 

I closed my eyes and recollected all the horrors of two days ago which I was trying to push since I wake up. I almost killed someone again, I stabbed him and taken his life. I lose control from myself. I felt tears running from my eyes mixing with water and breath turned heavy, this is the worst feeling in this world, worst than any torture, any abuse or any pain, its worst then anything. The feeling of losing yourself. I had gone through the same feeling after I took someone’s life six years ago, it won’t let you sleep, it won’t let you eat, it won’t even let you breath because everything felt too heavy for you in front of your actions. Your guilt and repentance every time keep telling you that you don’t deserve to live because you are monster who took all these things from someone.