She is the one by Asheslove (book recommendations for young adults txt) 📕

I looked down at my hands but there was no blood on them this time, I flipped them but nothing and then Nicolas words revolved in my head and my breathing came back to normal as I calmed.

I didn’t kill anyone this time, it's him who killed him not me, he killed him and he's already a murderer so that doesn't make any difference. Nicolas would have killed him either way so I am not responsible for his death, I am not a killer and my hands are not covered in his blood, HIS DEATH IS NOT ON ME.

I felt like living again and then I remembered what Andrea told me, he knows about my about my trauma, how can he know? I never told him, I never even acted in front of him due to fear then how?

And if he knows about it than it will prove me wrong, he's a monster. Yes, he's a monster, I'd seen him, and I can’t forget whatever he made me go through. He's a man with no redeeming qualities; he's nothing but blackness and bile who enjoys inflicting pain on others than why he'll do that, why he'll care about my trauma, why? 

No, he don't, he don't know because if he knows then he must have use my weakness against me to get the submission out of me then why he didn't, he didn't do that when he easily can and that will make him a human and he's not a human, he doesn't have feelings, he don't do emotions, he don't have heart in him it's just a cold hard stone, he loves to see me suffer doesn't he? Then why? 

He's a monster, that's all what he is. He doesn’t do anything unless there's something in it for him after all he's a selfish bastard, how can I forget that. He’s nothing but a iniquitous maniacal person.

I got close to him to understand him, to solve this puzzle but instead this puzzle is turning more complex, more of a mystery than a puzzle and to my disappointment pulling me closer to him and I don't have any idea what will reveal at the end.

*********

After dinner I tried to sleep but sleep was nowhere to come when my mind was filled with thousands of thoughts so I dropped the idea of sleeping.

It's midnight and I was sitting in the balcony of the bedroom reading a book, trying to concentrate my mind but what Andrea told me kept going through my head with other events which happened two days before. I didn't wanted to accept but a part of me was relieved that Nicolas came there before I would have ended up killing that man otherwise I wouldn't be able to take the blame of one more death on me this time. Does he did that because he knows that I wouldn’t be able to take it as he knows about my trauma, why that man is so eccentric.

The door opened and Nicolas walked in the room, his hairs messed, shirt dishelved and sleeves rolled up to elbow. His eyes roamed frantically in the room when he didn't found me on the bed and when fall on me sitting in the balcony he relaxed.

I closed the book and got up from my position to walk in but before that he removed the black shirt he was wearing and made his way towards me.

I don't fear Nicolas as much as before but a part of me always remain petrified and after the recent incident, my kidnapping and all what I find about, I don't know what to do or what to feel so I stopped struggling with my mind and decided to feel nothing. 

'Nicolas' 

I murmured softly looking at his furious expression not knowing whether he's angry at me or furious at something else, for the first time in the while his expression were involute for me to comprehend.

He sat where I was sitting before and pulled me on his lap swiftly, my legs on side of his lap and out of my surprise smashed his lips on mine for a passionate kiss; the kiss was soft yet furious at the same time, his eyes shut like he want to indulge in it. 

Without any hesitation I kissed him back roughly, our lips moving in sync. My fingers locked in his hairs while my other palm was on his naked chest just right above his heart felling his fast heartbeat against my hand.

He parted when we both become breathless, he kisses the corner of my mouth and giving a soft peck on my lips leaned his head against mine.

I circled my arms around his neck as we remained like this, none of us said or speak anything. The silence was thick in air yet it was too comforting.

He pulled away, I opened my eyes and looked in his orbs for the first time during the night and what I see next left me confound. 

There were thousands of emotions swirling in his blue orbs, his eyes looking at me were so soft and living that even I couldn't believe my own eyes that the emotions I was witnessing in his eyes were all real but still I couldn't decipher what exactly they were showing, affection, care or something else.

He cupped my face gently as I leaned at his touch.

'Are you fine?' He asked in a very tender voice and I couldn't be able to stop the tears which unknowingly and automatically formed in my eyes therefore I closed them before they fall down. Words felt so heavy to came out of my throat so I nodded my head in response. 

I don't know what I was exactly feeling at the moment but whatever the feeling is it felt like my heart swelled from inside and even knowing it was wrong it felt so damn right at the same time in his warm hold. I forget about all what I was thinking earlier wanting nothing but to indulge in his warmth.

'Open your eyes Tesoro, I want to see in your beautiful eyes' he mumbled softly kissing my forehead, not in order like always but like a request, like he desperately wants to.

I obliged without a word and my eyes meet with his deep ocean blue orbs.

'Elena' he sighed.

'I am sorry baby that I wasn't there and let those bastards take you away from me' he rasped softly caressing my cheek with his knuckles, his eyes boring in mine with sincerity. He never apologized to me, it's hard to believe my ears that he's actually saying sorry but there's sincerity in his voice, it was so genuine that I couldn't deny.