His Despair by S. N. Nina Arthur (e textbook reader txt) 📕

Davina’s Pov:- 

“Olivia,” he whispered while sitting up and tears rolled down his cheek, I stared at him confused and shocked. 

 He’s drunk and might be thinking you as Olivia, my subconscious commented, 

 Yeah, I replied.

 “You are here?” he said, smiling widely as tears rolling down his cheek. I sat still, without even blinking my eyes I was staring at him not knowing what to do or say.

 “I…” he said while his blue/green eyes never left mine as they kept roaming around my face, it held both pain and happiness. 

 “I missed you,” he said while letting out a chuckle, 

“I know you don’t miss me as I do,” he lowered his eyes while smiling sadly, I kept quiet and let him speak. 

“But I miss you,” He let out a sobbing while looking at me, the look he had on his face clenched my heart.

“I only… wanted one thing in my life… it was you and... You-You broke my heart,” he said, while tears rolling in eyes.  

“It hurts… a lot…” he whispered, “Remembering that you left me… for him,” he said looking at me.

“Why? Why?” he asked while tears streaming down his eyes, he looked broken and betrayed and it’s hurting me to see him like this.

“Why did you do that to me?” he asked like a small child asking his mother why did she hurt him and tears rolled in my eyes looking at his condition.

“Why? You… You promised that-that you would never leave me….Was I-was I that stupid to believe your promises?” he cried, “Was I not good enough? didn’t you love me?” he questioned,

“You lied to me, didn’t you?” he asked in a broken voice, tears were rolling down my cheek looking at him.

“How stupid I was…” he chuckled, “I trusted you and gave my everything to you, and you were fucking someone else…” his voice broke, “…behind my back!” he looked up at me with pain in his eyes, He chuckled, “I guess… I broke my own heart loving you,” he whispered while lowering his head, I could see tears flowing down his eyes, he kept quiet for a while. I tried to control myself, but I couldn’t, “You know…” he said while looking up at me, “...I don’t want to live like her,” he said, shaking his head while wiping his tears, “I don’t… dying every second in your memories while getting hurt over and over again… I don’t want to live like that…” he said and I immediately understood who he was talking about. 

“I want to be happy, I have every right to be…” he said with a sad smile, “I have everything with me... I should be happy…But... why can’t I?” he asked, a fresh set of tears was rolling in his eyes, “I thought…” he chuckled, “I could be happy while taking revenge on her…” he said lowering his head, “but…” he let out a sigh while shaking his head. 

“Sometimes, I feel pity for her,” he said, looking up, “I know I shouldn’t feel pity for her…” he murmured lowly, “but...her innocence... naiveness makes me feel sorry for hurting her,” he said and chuckled as if remembering something, “She sleeps like a rabbit… murmuring in her sleep while remembering her ex-husband,” he chuckled. 

“She’s broken...just like me,” he whispered, making my tears stream down my eyes, “and here I thought to break her and make her life hell…” he chuckled, “In that process… I almost forgot...that one… can not break someone who is already broken inside,” He said looking straight into mine. I bit my lower lip while controlling myself. 

“I don’t want to live like that…” he said weakly, “I can’t,” he groaned while letting the tears stream down his cheek and I couldn’t control myself anymore, I pulled him towards me while wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. 

“I can’t,” He sobbed while wrapping his hands around me and hugging me back. 

“Every time I look at her… his face flashes in front of my eyes,” he cried tightening his hold around me. 

“Making me remember what he took from me,” he cried, I moved onto his lap and hugged him while crying silently. 

“He took everything from me,” he cried while placing his face in crock my neck, “I hate him,” he murmured against my skin while tears dropped on my skin. 

“I hate you… I hate you for doing this to me,” He sobbed, I placed my hand over the back of his head and moved my fingers into his hair, “It’s okay,” I said while controlling hard to not cry out. 

“It’s okay,” I continued to stroke, he cried and cried tightening his hold around me, pulling me closer to him.

We were both broken and hurt by what they did to us, the betrayal not only broke me into pieces but also Arthur. It broke him completely and turned him into a different person, I never knew that Arthur had this side of himself which he hid from everyone. Whatever happened between him and Olivia broke him completely, leaving him shallow inside and making him a monster. 

I don’t know why she left him and why his mother supported her instead of her son, but one thing was clear, he loved her and gave her everything. I took a deep breath and wiped my tears, I tried to move back but Arthur’s hold was strong, “Arthur,” I called while stroking his hair, he moved back and looked at me without removing his hands around my waist. 

I wiped his tears and took his face in my hands, I stared into his beautiful eyes without saying anything. He slowly leaned back and placed me beside him without removing his hands off me, I stayed quiet and let him do that. 

We stared at each other with a comfortable silence between us, he took my face in his hands and claimed my lips, kissed me slowly and passionately. I know he was kissing me since he thinks I’m Olivia but I could not control myself and found myself kissing him back with the same intensity. 

I tried to pull away but he placed his hand at the back of my head and pushed my face closer to him, “Don’t” he murmured into my mouth, I moaned as he sucked my lower lip.