Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

"Alana, the glass is already filled to the brim. You've been overflowing it."

I snapped back to the cafe when I watched the brimming foam cup, the worst case of body existing in present and soul wandering, "I'm sorry, Gabriel. I just..."

It had been four days since I had last spoken to Rowan or even heard from him. To say, I was shit worried would be an understatement. A single second didn't pass without me thinking of him. He preoccupied most of my mind, resulting in minor calamities. I was expecting Rowan to come after me that day, but he didn't. He was probably drowning his butt in gallons of alcohol, the thought electrocuted my body.

What was I thinking, leaving him like that?

"It's okay, I understand. I'll clean this up. Why don't you take the order for table number 4?" Gabriel was the life of the cafe, the modern superman who solved everyone's problems with a bright smile and no complaints, there were moments when I even visualized a thin halo around his head and his name was Gabriel? 

Coincidence, much?

I recalled the incidence that happened a day ago, I was wrapping up my stuff since it was closing time when a homeless man walked in and demanded food. Gabriel gave him a large meal for free and paid it himself. He might as well have invisible white feather wings for all I knew.

Angel or not, he wasn't helping me either.

I had managed to lose my Greek god of a boyfriend along with a wonderful teacher resulting in an average grade 'B' on my paper. Oh well, I guess all those days of hard work paid off somehow if only I hadn't screwed up with pulling that unnecessary stunt.

Veronica had suggested I apply more lip gloss and mascara, that way I had chances of earning extra tips but since I wasn't in need of desperate cash, I settled with applying my normal makeup. I made my way towards table number 4 where a group of giggling high school girls were waiting for the order to be taken.

"Hi." I plastered my best fakest smile, "What can I get you?"

The blue haired girl raised her finger, scanning her menu, "You don't have dim sums?

"The Chinese restaurant is down the street." I told her, tapping my foot anxiously.

"How about the dinner box? With the sandwiches and chicken wings?"

"That's on Tuesdays, why don't you take a good look at the menu card first and then call me, sweetheart."

Don't waste my time bitch; make up your damn mind first.

I trotted back to the kitchen where I found Gabriel stuffing the hamburger with lettuce, he grinned at me.

"What?"

"That's a customer Alana; you're not supposed to be rude to them. If Blake saw what you did he might fire your ass." He squeezed the mayonnaise into the patty, still grinning to himself, "Patience, my love, patience."

"You know what? I'll do what you're doing and you go take the orders."

"And let you burn your fingers like last time? I think not. You're like a walking disaster. Stick to taking orders."

I was yet to be acquainted by my other co-workers, by the end of the first day I was convinced they thought I had some major disease that infected those who spoke, smiled or even walked in my near vicinity.

Those little shits wouldn't even say Hi to me.

I watched a couple walk into the restaurant carrying their vibrant smiles and happy aura. The girl looked similar to my age and the guy nearing Rowan's. He led her to an empty booth, leaning close to her ear; he whispered something which sent the girl into a fit of giggles.

They looked so normal and happy. 

It was quite unappetizing to watch them snuggle close; my heart was bunched up in a tight ball. I averted my gaze away from them.

After the day's hard work, it was closing time. Gabriel and I cleaned up the counters and tables sparking clean, most of which Gabriel was good at. We were permitted free meals once in a while, so we made ourselves greasy burgers and took our seats near the window.

"Tell me, what's your guy like? Ramón was it?"

In just a matter of four days, I was kind of surprised how close we'd become. Gabriel was really nice and easy to get along with. Great looking with dirty blond hair and matching green eyes, his hands seemed so large and rugged as if he did hard labour on a daily basis. There was only so much I had come to learn about him. He was a high school dropout and never went to university because he didn't have much money.

Different people with different problems. I sighed.

"Rowan." I corrected him, "He used to be my professor in university."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."  I continued, "He is kind, sweet and loves me too much. A great man."

"And you broke up because?" he popped in some fries in his mouth.

"I didn't break up Gabe, I would never do that. It's very complicated." I sipped onto my chilled beverage, "I want Rowan to realize how much I love him, how much he means to me. I reacted on impulse which I shouldn't have. Rowan did alot for me and never asked for anything in return and what did I do to him? I left him to deal with all those things he fears so much. I'm selfish and the worst girlfriend. I said a bunch of horrible things when I left his apartment."

I wiped a lone tear that was yet to graze my cheek, "My parents want me back in Ridgewell, Gabe and I'm not going because I want to be with Rowan. I can't think of a life beyond him. And it really scares me."

Gabriel nodded without offering me a word about my rant; another good thing about him was that he was a great listener. He could care less if I was narrating fairy tales.

Rowan had promised me he'd go for a consultation but then it ticked me off when it occurred to me that he wasn't going to keep his end of the bargain. Didn't I promise to stay with him? Always. It didn't matter to me if he was unwilling to get help but I lost my composure when he said I was the reason for his madness.