Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

Lauren approached the table with two large cups of ice-cream; she pushed the black walnut flavour towards me and settled into the chair opposite mine. I quickly shuffled some cash out of my sorry wallet and handed it to her. She waved her French manicured nails at me in a dismissive gesture, "No, you keep it. I can afford an ice-cream."

"I'm sure you can, but I prefer going Dutch." I pushed the notes in her direction which she accepted with a sour face.

My wallet screamed poverty; it was time I loaned some money from the Nina piggy bank. That bank was so ready to bend the rules, didn't even ask for interest.

I began scrutinizing the woman; with the heart shaped face and pointed straight nose, she didn't look half as bad as I thought she did. Kind of like Reese Witherspoon's cosmetic surgery gone horribly wrong. I snorted to myself, her eyes fixed on me. Damn! I was starting to annoy her. What was Rowan thinking? She looked like the perfect prototype of a scumbag, right off the bat.

Gosh! The jealousy was already surpassing boiling point.

"How is Rowan?"

The question caught me off-guard, my spoon being suspended in mid-air, I jabbed it inside my mouth letting the delicious flavour to melt, "Doing great actually. We never have fights or we never argue. It's almost like a Disney love story."

I was hoping she didn't notice how bad the lie snake kept hissing at me.

"Don't lie to yourself, Alana, I know Rowan much more than you do." emphasis on the word 'more', "You don't have to pretend with me."

"Look, I'll be really honest; I don't like you or the fact that you had a past with my boyfriend."

Yeah Bitch! Claws off! That man is mine. I would tattoo his name on every limb of my body if that's what it takes to prove it.

"I understand." She dabbed a tissue to her mouth, removing a few traces of the harlot lipstick, "but you have to know that he will ruin your life just the way he did mine."

Did I see tears glistening in her eyes? What are those? Crocodile tears?

"I don't want you of all people to tell me that."

"Aren't you tired, Alana? Aren't you tired of being pushed around constantly? Doesn't he keep torturing you with the same question each day?" she squeezed her red painted nails in my skin, "Rowan did that to me, I did everything for him. I cleaned up his house, cooked for him, looked after him, took his verbal abuse. I lived with a false hope that maybe he'd be okay, but he just got worse. Rowan is a monster who has no regard to anyone's feelings and he is pushing you into that same pit."

"Just shut up. JUST SHUT UP!" I pulled away from her grasp.

Who does she think she is? Rowan's drinking problem and his instability isn't exactly 'Headlines' to me. I'm dealing with it and slowly but surely I'll be able to pull him out. I was his only cure, is what I've always believed.

"How long have you been dating? A month?"

"Three months." It was actually two and a half month, but I refrained from mentioning it. The greater the number, the better.

"Honestly, I didn't think you'd even last that longer." This woman better not get me vexed, or I'm going to dump the remains of this ice-cream on her head. "I've been with Rowan for four years, you know how long that is?"

A sharp pang of jealousy stabbed at my heart, I wanted this begrudging feeling to fade but it was becoming worse. I had to take control or Lauren will have to face my wrath. She hasn't watched me turn into a full-fledged bitch just yet.

"Where did you meet him first?" I was amazed by my own curiosity.

You don't want to sit here and dig old stuff, Alana, become a bitch. Don't give her the satisfaction of arousing curiosity.

"We went to high school together, then he left for Stanford, we started dating after he was back." she seemed flustered, "I thought being in an institution for almost a year had turned him stable, everything was going great until he.." she left out the part.

Oh Woman! Give me a break.

"He started to drink again and the man I hated was back. He wrecked everything, along with my dreams. We were going to get married, you know."

"Last time I checked, you were the one who walked away from him. Now you try and deny that." I spat out the words with a coating of sheer poison.

"It was all because of him. I started to become depressed, he was pulling me into the world he lived in and I didn't want to be a part of that Alana, but I endured how much I could, which is what I'm trying to explain to you... "

"That's your justification for leaving him; see Lauren, that's the difference between you and me. You keep telling me that you left him because he was turning you into his shadow, as a last resolve you left him to deal with his issues all by himself, if that isn't pushing towards the edge then what is?"

Now listen up carefully, bitch.

"I don't need you to tell me about how I'm supposed to protect myself, instead of leaving, I'm going to stick around, and become his route to redemption." I grit my teeth in frustration, "I will see to it that he makes it towards the light."

Lauren sighed, dabbing another tissue to her eyes this time, smearing some kohl and mascara.

"You don't understand..that's not the real reason..."

"We'll get straight to the point, what do you want from us?" I put emphasis on the last word, just so she knew she wasn't dealing with him alone, "I'll be very up-front with you, Lauren, Rowan is mine and we are together. You are ancient history and you don't get to make a comeback in this story, you get me?"

The absence of Rowan's ring on my finger was becoming more apparent; I could have shoved the ring in her damn face just to make it clear that we were together.