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She never denied that connection we had . She told me herself that she knows what we had , but it was like she could only see a small detail and not the whole picture . That part she was always denying . That part she knew that was always there . That part that was saying everything , that part that everyone was seeing except her .

God , I love to hold her in my hands . She fell asleep after she cried her soul out . I felt so desperate because I didn't know what to do to make her stop crying . It was painful to see her like that . She deserves to be happy . I enjoyed the way she was hugging me in her sleep . I liked her touch - it was better than the best bag of blood and softer than the bird's song . I already knew that it wouldn't last long , it was just a matter of time until she makes up with Stefan .

St. Stefan . My baby bro . It was funny how he always get everything better than me . When we were kids , my parents were all about me . I didn't get that , but I liked it . Then , Stefan came to the world and they forgot about me just like that . He got all their attention . Not that I was jealous or anything , but I wished that they were paying more attention to me . I wasn't selfish , but I still needed more their attention . And if they were paying attention , it was rarely something good they had to say . It was always some lecture or something like that .

And then , Katherine . A waste of 145 years of my life . I'm still trying to digest the fact that I accepted the circus she had made of us . She always told us that we were a family . Just us three . I didn't know what was I thinking to get involved in that whole thing . I thought that she loved me , but no , she loved only Stefan . Never me . I was just her boy-toy . She was playing with both of us , but in the end she really loved Stefan . And I was just a fool in love , to believe that she could love me back .

And now , Elena . She didn't play me , but she wasn't quite an innocent lamb either . She was attractive to me because she looked like Katherine . At first . But , then I got to know her better and I could see that she was nothing like Katherine , that she was just herdescendant. And , I wasn't quite right about that . Maybe she didn't want to , but she was still playing with my feelings . It hurted me to see her with Stefan . Because I wished , this time this was truly what I wanted , to be in his place instead of him . He always got the glory ... I never did . Well , how could I ?

I was his evil big brother who killed people . And before that , I was just mean . I loved Stefan , of course I did , even though I sometimes pretended to hate him . I could never hate him , he was my brother . Yeah , he could be a pain-in-the-ass sometimes , and it was fun to tease him about his animal diet and stuff like that , but he was still my blood , my brother , even though he knew to bore me to death .

I loved all those people , yes even Katherine even though I hate her now , and they never loved me enough . History was repeating itself - Stefan got the girl we both loved , and I was just standing in his way . Was it too much to ask for someone to love me back the way I loved him ? And , not just someone , but Elena . And I knew that I asked too much when I asked her to love me back .

It was only Stefan . Stefan and nobody else . I couldn't bare to see her with him anymore . That's the one and only reason I left . I know that it was a selfish thing to do , but what good would I do just being here in Mystic Falls? Nobody cared about me here , the way I wanted to . Nobody ever showed me that I was wanted , loved . I couldn't stand to be the unwanted outcast .

I didn't want to think about this anymore . It made ma want to leave again . And I can't do that , because I promised her that I won't . I didn't understand her desperate need for me to be here , but still , I would do anything to make her happy . Even if it meant for me to watch her make up with my brother , sooner or later . I knew that it was going to be painful to watch that , but I had to .

What I felt and I wanted wasn't important , just her . I don't care what does it do to me , but I love her and I want to see her happy . After all that she had been through , she deserves some peace and happiness in her life . I never knew what happiness truly was . At least , I was never really happy because of some reason that was meant for me . Something good that happened to me .

That selfish happiness . No , I was wrong . I actually did experience her . When I first saw Elena . Her chocolate brown eyes , her beautiful smile ... and just her personality . She cared about everyone else more than she did for her . She was selfless . That was the real reason I was first attracted to her . She was so pure . When I first noticed that Stefan had a crush on her , I wanted to tease him , or even get revenge because of the whole thing with Katherine . I was an idiot to think that Elena was that kind of girl , that girl who would cheat on her boyfriend .

That revelation was shocking to me , A) because she was rejecting me , and that was the first time I got rejected and B) she was probably the first girl I've met that was that good , that pure . And that's was why I fell in love with her in the first place .

That girl I loved so much , who was driving me mad , that girl which was asleep in my arms . I stroked her soft hair . I knew that it wouldn't be like this for long , so I just relaxed , feeling her fragile touch ; and I fell asleep , feeling whole again .

Elena's P.O.V.

I woke up , and I couldn't see Damon in the bed anymore . I started to panic slightly , but then I found a note on the other pillow , and it said :

Don't worry , I'm not gone anywhere . I'm just in the kitchen making you breakfast . Come downstairs .

D.

I suddenly relaxed , once I read it . He is here . He isn't going anywhere . Thank god ! I laughed to myself for being stupid enough to think that he'll leave like that . Yet , I had my reasons . I got up , and went to the bathroom . I took a quick shower . I got dressed and went downstairs .

A smell that was coming from the kitchen made me drool . I walked into the kitchen , just to see probably the hottest thing I've ever seen- Damon with an apron, flipping french toast .

" You know that it isn't polite to stare . " he said , with a devilish grin on his face . I didn't realise that; I blushed , feeling embarrassed. He smiled at that . " It smells really good . " I said , changing the subject . " Yes , it does . Now , sit , it's almost finished . "

I sat down and tried not to stare again . I loved to see Damon in his flirty mood . What ?! I did not just think that . I really needed to control my thoughts . But , it was hard , because it was Damon . Last night was like that - I couldn't control my thoughts with him being that close to me. I was fully aware of how close he was and it do any good for my thoughts .

I was really upset because I thought that he was going to leave again , but then I could feel how close he was . His cold skin and his minty breath . His icy-blue eyes that were irresistible . Like it wasn't enough that he had a hot body . But , when I saw his lips.... That would have probably been the end of my self-control if he hadn't put his chin on my head . But , if I he hadn't... I knew what would have happened .

" Your toast is ready . " Damon's voice brought me back to reality . He put the plate in front of me . Mmmm , it looked delicious . I took a bite and it was really good . So good , that I ate both slices in just 3 minutes . Damon grinned at me . I probably looked like I wasn't eating in days . Well , I certainly was eating like that . Haha .

" Do you want more or do you want dessert ? " he showed me a cocktail glass filled with chocolate pudding with three raspberries on top .

" Dessert , please . " I said . He smiled at my words .

" But , I gotta warn you - it's super-delicious . " he said with a sneaky smile .

Once as he put it in front of me and gave me a spoon , I dug into it . And he was right - it was super delicious . Every taste was like I died and went to heaven . He was really some good cook .

After I was done , he washed up . " I need to talk to you . " I said .

" So , talk to me . " he said simply .

" We should go to the living room . " I replied .

" Okay . "

We went to the living room and I sat on the couch . Before , he joined me , Damon fixed himself a drink . He asked me do I want one too , I said no- I wasn't a morning drinking person .

" Tell me . " he said , toking a small sip .

I took a deep breath . I knew what was I suppose to say , but the question was how? I looked him deeply in the eyes .

" I remember . I remember it everything . " I started
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