Dear Edward by Heather Parsons (i read book .TXT) 📕

him, tore through his heart.
Cries ripped through his still body, tears ran down his cheeks, and his heart monitor was going crazy. He'd been brought here in a daze, not knowing who had come with him or if he'd come alone. The doctor's said he'd had a mild heartache but John knew there wasn't anything mild about it.
Adam stood outside the door that led to John's room, contemplating his options. Should he go in, explain to good and bad, and what to expect? Did he have a right to even enter his room? He couldn't do anything to insure Jason's safe return with him being here and not there to help. And hearing these words just bounce around inside his head caused him to reach out, grabbing hold of the wall. Flexing his hands, breathing in shallow breaths, trying to shrink into the wall and wishing Aaron was here instead because he'd know what to do, what to say, how to make everything better.
After leaving the hospital on no intention, Brianna offered help to those who brought gifts to John, to help him in anyway they could. Sitting at the kitchen table, stretched out, arms crossed over each other and head down, Brianna cried softly to herself, alone. Everyone had come and gone as she sat there wishing only the best, praying for something good to come from all their loss.
Their gifts were intended to bring peace to the household but with it being empty of life, what peace could it possibly bring? She sat staring out of the window, watching the day and thinking of years that have passed. All the good times she's shared with the ones she loved, laughing wholeheartedly at the jokes they told, she now missed them dearly, missing their simple touch that brought more life to her than a breath of air. No one knew how truly alone it was, she thought, to have no one to fall back on or shoulder to cry on when you needed it, badly.
Walking out the front door, Brianna was forced to face the day that lay out in front of her. Soft drops of mist landed on her face, shielding her tears and causing her more pain. It seemed God shed tears often in this town, the rain came down harder the closer she was to the mail box. Inside held a lot of letters from soldiers. Clutching them in her hand, without looking to closely at them, Brianna turned around and ran back into the house. Keeping her eyes straight in front of her the whole time.
But one letter had slipped out of her hand as she placed them on the table. And without thinking she reached down to retrieve it, holding it firmly in hand her eyes connected to the lettering on the front and broke. Everything she'd wanted to hide from everyone, came out in waves. Sitting in the palm of her hand was a letter from her mother. Disbelief shot through her mind, her face lost all color and her entire body went limp.
Collapsing on the floor, letting the letter slip from her hand, losing her vision, she screamed. “Oh God!”
With trembling hands, she reached down and retrieved the letter. Using her other hand to wipe the tears away from her eyes so she could read what it said. The first words she'd managed to read brought back the tears tenfold, 'to my dearest daughter'.

This can't be, she thought, it has to be a joke. Someone's sick, twisted idea of a joke. But the handwriting, the loops and twirls of the lettering were the same as what her mother had done on all the letters before. The hearts delicately drawn on the edges of the page, the vines connecting them together to make a boarder, was it true? Could it be?
Her hands shook the more she'd read, 'life has been difficult for you, I understand'.

Oh God, no, she thought. “I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to know how difficult it's been.” Wiping away the tears again she began reading more, 'but I'm here for you, honestly. I'd never leave your side even if God himself demanded me too'.

“Mom,” she whispered, feeling her energy inside this house.
The next letters on the page seemed to jump out at her, 'all you have to do is close your eyes, and there I'd be, standing, waiting'.

Brianna sobbed louder than she'd ever before but slowly closed her eyes to see for herself if what was written was true. Rehearsing the words she'd just read over and over until she was sure, she was losing it.
When she opened her eyes the words came at her like a rainbow of explosion. 'Your my angel, my whole reason for being. Never to be able to see your beautiful smile again would definitely kill me, so smile baby, for me'.

Brianna tried to please her mother and smile but the sobs broke through and she found it near impossible.
“I can't mom, I'm not strong enough.” She sobbed into her hands. Disappointed that she couldn't do this one simple thing, smile.
'You are strong, even though life has dealt you a rough hand, I know you of all people can keep going. Your a caring, loving human being and never one that would ever give up. Please for me baby, don't give up. Hold your head up high, wipe the tears away and smile.'

“There's nothing to smile about, mom. Your gone, dad's gone, everyone I love is dieing and I can't do anything about it. It's my fault your both gone. I should have done what you said and talked to him.”
'I am to blame for what happened to me, not you. So rid your mind of that thought, it was all my doing. I choose to join and leave you behind to fight, I choose my own fate. And your father, he stands by my side, he's truly sorry for what happened too. He fought a war within himself that could never be won, you had nothing to do with what happened, rid yourself of that thought too.'

The words she'd longed for three years were now shinning out to her, her mother's thoughts written down on paper for her to read. But regardless of what was written Brianna was still adamant that she was the one who caused all her own heartache, all the pain.
Crying more softly to herself, she read the last of the letter before falling completely apart. 'Good things will come, I promise, baby. Only good things. We both love you dearly, Brianna. All hearts and souls combined, together, forever'.

All hearts and souls combined, together, forever was something they'd all say to each other every night before going to sleep. That is before her mom left to fight in Iraq and her dad became an alcoholic and now she's left alone to say it into the wind.
Staying put on the ground seemed a waste of time, there was so much she could do to help make her life good, a better place to be. Rising up, she grabbed hold of the rest of the mail, sorted through it and placed two neatly placed stacks on John's desk.
Cleaning what she'd messed up, Brianna left the house and walked away. Away from the misery, away from the loss to start a new. Something that would make her mother and father smile down upon her, make the world a better place to live in and make her feel like she was doing something special.

~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~

Saturday morning was a new start, the start that would forever change Brianna's life. It was a beautiful start, rainbows colored the ground where the drops of rain sat. Brianna sat at her kitchen table, writing a list of items that would be useful for the troops, writing down supplies she'd need to complete what she wanted. Her project of giving back took on a whole new level.
Calling all her friends together to help, they sat around and listened to what she wanted to do, all wide eyed and surprised but willing none the less. “I know this might seem a bit strange coming from me but, I want to make this project we have in school that much more. Not only am I going to write back to these soldiers and tell them they're doing an amazing job but also give them something to hold and know there's life beyond what they're seeing. I know most of you will help me with this but just to make sure, I'll ask again. Who wants to make sure our soldiers know they're loved, supported and wanted back home safe?”
Everyone either nodded or cheered, bringing more happiness to this house than it's had in a long time. They all knew this would be a hard project but one they were all willing to do, regardless.
Adam was standing over to the side, eying the chaos and trying to remember why he'd picked up his phone and come over. He didn't go to school, didn't have a project to do but still he felt it right to be here, to support Brianna in whatever she did. And seeing her smile, lit up his day. Slowly his lips twitched, smiling along with her and letting his guard down. Brianna is the only one who's ever been able to affect him this way.
Sighing, he shook his head and stepped away from where he was. Lending a hand to whatever he could to help but as soon as his hand touched the letter, all his pretending went out the window. He couldn't hold on to the smile he had, the happiness he felt, his eyes teared up and he turned to leave. All the pain and heartache he'd held onto came harder and faster this time.
Lindsey and Brianna were talking silently together, not paying attention to anything else going on. But out of the corner of her eye, Brianna saw Adam's face. His pain and heartache she felt through his tears. Leaving her friends side, Brianna slowly made her way to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and cried along with him on his shoulder. She knew what she'd asked from him wasn't right but she also thought it might help. And deep down inside she'd hoped it would help her as well, help them all.
“I thought I could do this but I can't. It's too soon, Brianna. I'm sorry.” Adam whispered in her ear. The feel of her tighten her grip, he knew she was pretending as much as he was. But he wasn't as strong as her, he thought, just standing here was breaking down his defenses and he's never let anyone see them before and now would be no different.
“Adam, please I can't do this without your support.” She begged, sucking in a rough ragged breath of