Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (motivational novels txt) 📕

"He did this for you. For you and Minnie and I support his decision."

"You compelled him to do it, didn't you?"

"Of course not, Alana." Dwight seemed hurt by my sudden accusation, "It was his decision."

"If he had planned on leaving right after the accident, why didn't you tell me anything Dwight?"

"Because he told me not to. What if I had told you, Alana? You would have given up college, packed your stuff and left with him. Am I right?"

Damn right! Only I didn't agree with him. Dwight analyzed my expressions, challenging me to refuse.

"That would have been my decision. Rowan can't keep pushing his decisions over me all the time. I would have done what I think was right." I said with as much confidence as I could muster.

"And 'Right' in your opinion is dropping out of college." Dwight continued, "How long were you guys gonna keep going back and forth? How long were you going to let him keep repeating his mistakes and forgive him? It's time he pulled his shit together. Rowan knew he was dragging you down with him. Are you not hurt? Didn't it affect you when he picked up that gun to end his life? Just because he promised you earlier that he would never repeat his mistakes doesn't mean he wouldn't. This is his fight. His battle alone. You have to understand this, Alana."

As much as I hated admitting it, Dwight had hit the bulls-eye.

"So what does he want me to do? Move on?"

Dwight gave me a lopsided grin, "Can you?"

I shook my head, "No." I swallowed, I wasn't sure I needed an answer to my next question, "When is he going to be back?"

"I don't know." Dwight told me, "probably in six months, a year or two years. It depends on how fast he recovers."

"I wanted to...I wanted to talk to him but I'm not sure how I will react. I don't want to say something that will upset him."

"Rowan doesn't have a cellphone and he is allowed to make one call a week." Dwight mentioned apologetically.

"Is he okay?"

"Of course."

"Thanks for talking to me Dwight. I feel a little better now."

"Hey why don't you come home for the weekend? I'll show you around the farm house that's a few hours away. Mom and Dad wanted me to invite you." When I didn't say anything he added, "Minnie misses you a lot. She wants to see you too."

He knew Minnie was a soft spot.

"I don't know Dwight." I straightened my hair, "Nina and Chez were also asking me to hang out with them this weekend."

"They are welcome to join you, the more the merrier."

"I'll talk to them and let you know."

"I'll wait outside, get dressed."

Bewildered, I asked, "Get dressed for what?"

"Well, if you're cutting class then why sit in a dark room and mope ass? I'll show you some fun." He grinned, his eyes twinkled with excitement.

***

I looked miserable with the dark circle under my eyes and almost the entire Carmel had told me I'd lost weight. I managed to hide all the dark marks, tear stains and everything else that stopped me from being the old me, pulled a casual t-shirt over faded denims and made my way downstairs. I slid inside Dwight's BMW series 5. I hadn't taken notice of the interior, the last time I had gotten a ride in it but this time I couldn't help but make a thorough note. Dwight was good at multitasking, he texted with an inhumane speed while driving; also a decent driver unlike Rowan who's driving could be life threatening if I stepped on his cat which was the case most of the time.

My final verdict, Dwight being a cocky bastard that he was, had a rational thinking. Calculative and responsible which equated a very safe boyfriend as for Rowan, being a self-made man, was polite, suave as well as cold, cynical and dangerous which equated a boyfriend daddy would want to keep his daughter away from and as much as I hated some of his traits, I still loved him. I loved my dangerous bad boy.

"Where are we going?" I asked Dwight.

He didn't avert his eyes off the road to give me a side-long glance, "You'll see."

Dwight tried to make small talk the entire twenty minutes drive. It was just normal talk about what I was planning to study or my hobbies and other trivial things. The letter 'R' was strictly forbidden. Soon, we were surrounded by large trees and lots of greenery; the road seemed slippery and wet. The greyish clouds indicating another heavy rain. He pulled up near a bushy area—cut the engine, opened the car trunk, pulling out a large sized picnic basket and asked me to follow him.

I walked right behind him as he rifled through the thick trees, kicking off twigs. The breeze whipped the trees making that whoosh sounds and as I walked further, I heard a faint sound of water ripples. I jogged harder until I reached a clearing. It was illuminated by the surrounding trees, large grey rocks on the either side of the calm lake. Dwight dropped the basket near a fallen tree trunk and settled on it, patting the side for me to sit. The lake water made the sloshing sound, soothing my soul. Watching the waves ripple and twirl was fun. I knew I had to bring Chez here one day, he would built his own personal hut here and spend the rest of the eternity painting the little things the nature offered.

"I love this, Dwight."

Dwight pushed off the basket lid and removed something that looked like a turkey sandwich out of a poly zip lock bag. He handed it to me, "sandwich?"

I hadn't had breakfast so I eagerly grabbed for it and chomped a large bite.

"I'm no gourmet cook so don't complain about my food being shitty because I know it is."

I wish I had listened to his warning before taking a bite, I swallowed without chewing, "You're kidding right? Because this is yummy." Okay maybe the turkey tasted a little raw.