PRECARIOUS by Robert F. Clifton (knowledgeable books to read txt) 📕

“I see, but why call me?”

“Knowing that you’re a pharmacist you’re able to put your hands on certain items.”

“By doing that and aiding in an abortion is illegal in New Jersey.”

“I’m aware of that. Let me put it another way. The father is willing to pay for what you can supply.”

“How much?”

“A thousand.”

“Make it two.”

“No problem.”

“What do you need?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I called you. came up.”

“ There’s a couple of things available both are pills, Now then, you come down here. Bring the two grand. I hand you the pills with directions and warnings. After that, you’re on your own.”

“Saturday?”, asked Robert.

“Sounds good.”

Three weeks later Ann Peterson buzzed the intercom.

“Yes,” he said.

“There’s a Mrs. Collins on line two. Do you want to take the call?”, asked Ann.

“Yes, thank you. He picked up the receiver and said, “How are you?”

“I’m fine. I spent a couple of days in the hospital. Me with no insurance. Mighty Mouse is depressed because he thinks I lost his baby. Incidentally, it was a boy.”

“Well, that’s what you wanted, to get rid of it. The main thing is you’re alright.”

“Thank you, but I’m still stuck with a hospital bill and no money to pay it.”

“Send me the bill. Place it in a large, business type envelope and mark it confidential. That way my secretary won’t open it.

“OK, thanks Robert. See you at the games.”

By the year 1965, Robert Sayer was almost back to normal mentally. There was no longer any guilt hanging over him effecting his life or his work. He won again in court winning two large cases that resulted in large awards to his clients as well as the collecting of large legal fees for the partnership. Still, for some reason he still kept the furnished apartment in Olney. The only thing that was different were the locks on the door had been changed.

Chapter Seven

Helen

During the next three years Barbara Sayer gave Robert two children. The first, a boy was named John Francis Sayer, after Robert’s grandfather. A daughter born next was named Harriet after Barbara’s father, Harry. As a result Robert settled down. To him his philandering days were over. In his mind he could now sit back and enjoy the merits of life, those things that hard work and dedication to his law firm had brought him. Still, occasionally the dreams about Janet came and went. They were always the same, only the setting was different. One time they would be on a beach. Another time either in front of her house or inside her house. Then it would continue with him begging her to forgive him and she saying that she would think about it. Each time he would wake in disappointment and be depressed for the rest of the day.

As the days and weeks passed by he found that although he enjoyed being a father, he noticed that his wife had changed. Where at one time most of her attention was on him, now it was

hat of a duty. To him it appeared that she couldn’t wait to get it over. When this happened the depression returned. As time passed the depression increased and being directed to their children. Her once passionate love making now turned into somewcontinued. Finally, one day he decided to take control of things and he made arrangements to see a psychiatrist. And an appointment was made to see Doctor Phillip Mano. The psychoanalysis began.

Entering the year 1970 Robert Sayer had been diagnosed as having a paranoid personality disorder. He harbored suspicions about people in general who in his mind were out to be hostile towards him. Doctor Mano believed that Robert’s mental problem was that no matter how he tried no man really liked him and no woman could ever love him. His mania had began when his love for his father was rejected. Frank Sayer never wanted his marriage , but when he impregnated Roberts mother, then out of wedlock the marriage became a trap. Every time that Frank looked at the son he had he saw the reason for being in that trap. This, according to Doctor Mano caused a deep seated need to be loved in Roberts mind. In seeking love he had found Janet. She then, like his father rejected him. All the other women in his life including his wife became a test. A test to see if indeed their love was real. Unfortunately, when the love was real, he refused to believe it.

Even with therapy the dreams continued to happened. Doctor Mano tried to convince Robert that the reason was due to the guilt he carried within himself. The guilt was that he lost her by not deferring himself from the war. Deep inside himself he still carried that guilt believing that had he listened to her things would have been different and that she would be with him now.

As he sat at his desk in the law office he made the decision to stop seeing the psychiatrist and he called the doctor’s office and canceled his next meeting. Once again, unknown to him the paranoia was still there. His opinion now was that the doctor was wrong, didn’t know what he was talking about and was only treating him for the fifty dollars an hour sessions.

At one of Barbara’s charity events Robert sat under a cabana. It was a very warm day in the Philadelphia area. A hot, beaming sun beat down on the white canvas top of the tent like structure. Although warm, he was comfortable. Fortunately he had dressed casual, but knowing the weather of the day wore white slacks, and a powder blue golf shirt, white loafers and socks that matched his shirt. He then sat sipping on a large glass of ice tea. As he sat and watched his wife talking to other members of the club, members that he wasn’t too much interested in joining in conversations his attention was diverted when he saw a middle age woman walking towards the cabana.

When she entered Robert stood and asked., “Had enough of the sun and heat?

“Oh my yes. One never knows exactly how the weather will be when they sit down and plan these events. I’d assume the plans for this charity were made in January. Now, here we are fighting off heat stroke.”

“Perhaps you would like a cooling beverage,” said Robert.

“That sounds wonderful,” said the woman.

“No problem,” Robert said signaling a waiter.

When the waiter came to the cabana Robert said, “Bring the lady what she would like and I’ll have another ice tea.”

“I’ll have an ice tea also,’ the woman replied.

“So, since we’re the only two intelligent people here that know how to handle the heat let me introduce myself. I’m Robert Sayer,” he said.

“I’m Margaret Benson, but I go by the name, Helen.”

“Benson? Benson? Is your husband Rupert Benson, of Benson and Benson?”

“Yes and you are Robert Sayer of Pratt, Pratt, Parlin And Sayer,” Helen replied.

“Actually only Monday to Fridays,” Robert responded.

“Have you ever met my husband or perhaps faced him in court?”

“No, I’ve never had the pleasure. Where is he now?”, asked Robert.

“He’s out on the golf course. I hope he had enough sense to rent a cart. It’s too hot to be walking about hitting a ball and chasing after it on foot.”

As she spoke Robert watched her. She, like the other women there was dressed casually, but in the latest fashion. She was well built. He had noticed that when she was walking towards the tent. At the same time she wasn’t fat, but solid appearing as one in excellent health and not prone to dieting.

She had a beautiful tan and he imagined the tan covered every inch of her body. Her hair, strawberry blond reached her shoulders. As she spoke to him she looked at him with green eyes. Their conversation was interrupted when the waiter brought their beverages.

When the waiter left Robert watched her take a sip from the tall glass. “Ah, very refreshing,” she said.

“So, Helen Benson, tell me all about yourself,” said Robert.

“There’s not too much to tell. I was born and raised here in Chestnut Hill, graduated for high school, went to Penn and got a degree.”

“A degree in what?”

“Mr. Sayer. Surely you know that girls brought up in our social circles go to college for two reasons. The first is to study and get a degree in Liberal arts. The second reason is to marry well. I’ve done both.”

“Good for you.”

“What do you mean?”, she asked.

“Behind those beautiful green eyes I can detect a bit of sadness. You mention the social circle for girls. Over the years, after marrying someone that was in that social circle I discovered something.”

“And just would that be?”

“That most of you society girls practically enter per-arranged marriages. In most cases the love they thought was there quickly fades away.”

“That may be, but be assured I love my husband deeply and he loves me.”

“Like I said before, good for you.”

Helen Benson got up quickly out of her chair. “Thank you for the cold drink Mr. Sayer. I think our conversation is over.”

“Make that Robert. Call me that the next time we meet.”

“And you believe there will be a next time?”

“Oh yeah.”

Helen Benson walked away quickly and didn’t look back.

Two weeks later Ann Peterson buzzed him on the intercom.

“Yes?” he asked.

“You have a call from a Mrs. Benson. Shall I put it through?”

“Yes.”

“Line three.”

“Thank you,” he said as he pushed the flashing button. “Robert Sayer and how are you, Mrs. Benson?,” he asked.

“It’s now ten thirty in the morning. I’m coming into the city to shop. Can we meet for lunch somewhere?’, she asked.

“Certainly. Do have any particular place in mind? I know it won’t be Horn And Hardarts,"" he replied.

“Very funny. How about Lew Tendlers. Do you know where it is?”

“Yes it’s on Broad and Locust.”

“See you there, say about twelve thirty.”

“Twelve thirty is is.”

“Bye”, she said hanging up the telephone.

At noon Robert took the elevator down to the buildings lobby and as he walked towards the revolving doors placed his sunglasses over his eyes. He then stepped out on to the sidewalk, hailed a taxi and was then on his way to Lew Tendlers. When he got there he went inside, smiled at the hostess and said, “Thank you, I see who I’m meeting for lunch.” He then walked to the rear of the restaurant where Helen Benson sat in a booth facing him. “Let me give you a little advice. When a beautiful woman like you enters a place like this alone then takes a booth in the back of the room people might get the impression that you’re cheating on your husband.”

“But, I’m not and haven’t,” she replied.

“Not yet.”

“And, just what makes you think I will?”, she asked.

“What other reason would you have for meeting me like this?”

“Maybe I’m curious.”

“You know the saying. Curiosity killed the cat.”

“I’m aware of that, but the way I see it, you have just as much to lose as I do.”

“Only there is a difference.”

“What difference?”

“In matters like this, the man when discovered is referred to as a, rogue. The woman is considered less, usually a home wrecker or a tramp.”

“I don’t see myself as a home wrecker and I’m certainly not a tramp. I think that things at your home are like mine. Barbara is involved in raising the kids and working for her charities. Therefore, she’s neglecting you, particularly in bed.

My case is similar, except with Rupert I’m bored out of my head.’

“So, what you’re telling me is that you’re looking for excitement in your life,” said Robert.

“Yes. Now, what do we do? It’s up to you.”

“Do you know your way around Olney?”

“I can learn.”

“Good. Just as long as you know you entering into this thing with your eyes wide open.”

“They are.”

“Good. Now, lets order before others start putting two and two together.”

A week later Barbara made arrangements to take the children to the zoo. At the same time Rupert Benson was signed up