He Buys Too! by madmilt (best beach reads of all time .txt) 📕

He Buys Too!

By madmilt


The new-car showroom and the closing office were spotless. Joel, the salesman, looked clean and impeccably dressed from head to toe, yet he must have been made of oil. He fielded Becky's questions every time, never going beyond the least of answers, not always answering at all, but always going right back to the pitch, which he truly had made his own. Becky was a sharp bargainer, and so far she was far from sold, but this did not bother Joel at all. His worry was Mike, who had not said a thing. In fact Mike, that #@%* shrimp, had not shown any response at all, yet from the beginning he had been wound up like a watch spring ready to snap.
Joel was not yet ready to suggest a close. He paused; looked at Mike; looked at Becky; and looked back at Mike, but neither spoke. Joel began again, "The whole concept of the Blitz is instant and sure response." At that point it was Mike's response that was instant and sure.
"Joel, you're repeating yourself. Maybe you can show us your work orders on vehicles currently being serviced. Of course, cover up the names. I don't need to see the names, just the mileage and the work being done."
Now the truth was obvious even to Joel. Mike's concern was credibility. Joel gave him a totally exasperated look, and Mike laughed disdainfully.
"Joel, you should see the expression on your face. You're not exasperated," and Mike put his arm around Becky's waist and stood up. Resignedly Becky walked with him to the open office of Steve Grossman, the sales manager. Dumbfounded, Joel followed, not two steps behind.
Grossman was able to tear himself away from some obviously urgent paperwork and meet the trio at the entrance, but Mike spoke first, quite jovially. "Mr. Grossman, I understand that nobody walks from here until he has seen a second person."
"Aha," said Grossman, "You know the game." And he gave Mike a friendly punch on the shoulder, or at least it would have been friendly if Mike had been anywhere near Grossman's size. "So tell me, sport, what's happening?"
Mike still sounded jovial despite his painful shoulder. "So I think we can see each other quite adequately from this distance. I trust that I've made your day." And Mike pulled Becky out the door by the waist. Becky gave him an angry look but did not break away.
The walk to the car gave Becky some time to cool down, but not quite enough. "Mike," she snapped, "What do you expect to do when we run out of dealers? After all, we do need a new car."
"Yes," Mike agreed, "But not the way we need a safe consumer market, and we won't get one unless we insist on being treated sincerely and straightforwardly. That salesman would have us believe that my distrust was a personal insult. Actually his exasperated look was a deliberate insult to our own intelligence. We are doing his entire occupation a favor by driving his kind out of the business."
Becky was not satisfied. "Be that as it may, I can't shop like this. Mike, you know you're going to need me for the final bargaining, and I'm exhausted already--too exhausted to be dragged around any more today. So what do you propose to do?"
Mike knew that Becky was right. Just as she found his curt rejections and runaround distasteful, so he found bargaining distasteful, and he was going to need her for the close. "Just come with me to one more dealer, then I'll drop you off at home." Reluctantly Becky agreed, just as Mike turned off a radio commercial in disgust.
They were not even at the second dealer long enough to enter the showroom. Mike noticed that the cars in the lot had two stickers on them, and the prices on the two stickers did not agree. That was enough. Becky fairly snarled. "Mike, take me home. You're on your own for the rest of the day," and she slammed the car door even before Mike entered from the other side.
Mike turned on the radio, but it was Becky who turned it off almost as soon as the next commercial came on. She repeated the words that she had heard several times before from Mike. "The advertiser claims two or more convenient locations--not only a lie but a complete paradox. Just place yourself at any one of that company's locations, and observe that all others are out of your way. Look, I know that your outspoken skepticism has saved us from fraudulent investments that swindled people we knew. I know that you have kept us from buying products that have proved to be worthless. But I have lost friends. They think I'm married to a nut. And quite frankly, I can't live in a world of such skepticism."
Mike nodded. "I understand. I don't like living this way myself, but I find the alternative worse. Remember, this only happens with major purchases. This will be over in a day or two, and you won't have to face it again for years."
"Yes, but at least see if you can settle on one dealer today. I'll see you when you get home."
"Agreed," said Mike. Two minutes later he dropped Becky off and set out alone. There were two more Blitz dealers in town, and if Mike found that he could not trust either of them, he could settle for a Zowie. It really was a very similar car on the surface.
The third dealer seemed to have a bit more sense. At least he answered Mike's questions instead of dodging them. He even showed Mike the current service records and then led him to the filing cabinets that contained thousands of previous records. By the time Mike had looked through four of these records, he began to feel foolish. He turned to the salesman and said, "The car's service records seem very good, but there still are a couple things I want to think over for myself."
"An excellent idea," agreed the salesman, "And while you're thinking it over . . ."
". . . Ah-ah-ah." Interrupted Mike, "This is one time you had better let your prospect walk despite what all the sales handbooks may say. Don't insult my intelligence or you'll lose the sale for sure."
"Whaddayamean?" asked the salesman without indignation and without any feigned emotion.
"I mean that for all I know both you and the company you represent could be totally sincere, but you still have been betrayed--industry wide--by those who have gone before you. Distrust is not an insult but an occupational hazard. I simply don't buy from anyone who fully expects me to make my final decision in his presence. I want to think these points over alone."
The salesman pushed aside his feelings and agreed. So much of what he had been taught had just been shot full of holes. He had bought the prospect's voiced objection at immediate face value. He had let the prospect carry the ball. In fact he had encouraged the prospect to carry the ball further and was about to encourage him to carry it still further. He even was letting the prospect walk, yet he knew that the prospect trusted him, and trust from this prospect did not come easily. He walked Mike to the door, right past dirty looks from the floor manager and another salesman. He shook hands with Mike and asked, "Will you know by tomorrow afternoon?"
"Yes, if I don't dig up any new data, I'll be back here by then."
"Great," said the salesman, "And don't forget to bring the wife. We don't want any buyer's remorse."
On the way home Mike realized that he had not even mentioned Becky. The salesman could have deduced that Mike was married, but he could not possibly have sensed any spousal objection to the purchase. This salesman was genuinely concerned!

Publication Date: 10-24-2010

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