Living, or Being Alive by Kendra Hefting (free ebook reader for android txt) ๐
Am i living,
or am i alive?
I, Kendra Hefting am not actually having the thoughts of my characters, only putting myself in there life to write what they feel... i am a very happy person...
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- Author: Kendra Hefting
Read book online ยซLiving, or Being Alive by Kendra Hefting (free ebook reader for android txt) ๐ยป. Author - Kendra Hefting
The pain; it wasnโt what I was expecting. I read those books, about the guilt and the confusionโฆ the negativity, eating you inside out.
But I never thought it would happen to me.
I had never really been negative, I was always looking on the bright side of everything; making sure my life was perfect in my eyes and it was all I wanted. But I was naรฏve to think I had no pain, that the tears I found on my face as I awoke every morning were just from my nightmares, or the joy I was experiencing in my life.
My parents werenโt ones to care, and some part of me knew they never would; but it never bothered me until one day I just, broke.
Thereโs no other way to explain it, no other way to describe my painful death.
They say death is when you no longer breathe, when your skin is pale and your soul has left your body; but I know better. I died September 15, but no one noticed, because I still went to school and came home; I still ate and interacted although slowly my capacity for words diminished leaving me to walk around school known as Mute girl or Mutie. Although walk really isnโt the right word, since my feet dragged as if every step I took was taking me farther into my hell than I wanted to be.
Life isnโt something to be cherished; it isnโt as special as they make it seem, because living is different than being alive.
Maybe there isnโt a grave plaque that says Brook Widows yet, but it doesnโt mean I am living, I am simply a dead teenager being forced to stay alive. The world is a hollow hell, one that I used to look upon with great admiration, now I look only with pity; pity for those who still see the way I used to, pity for those who think life is such a blessing.
YOLO. Itโs a great motto to live by, and it brings up my spirits by assuring me my pain will only happen once; that I wonโt return to this putrid world because anywhere is better than here. The air is stale and water is poisoned. Slowly, the world is giving me death, physical real death; only I wish the world werenโt so cruel.
Earth is truly just one demon in our universe, slowly killing us without our noticing and I donโt know what will happen over the years, because it has been exactly one year since I stopped living and is my last day at staying alive.
Publication Date: 08-20-2012
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