Roman a Clef by Jessica Thompson (red white royal blue .txt) 📕

“Where are they? I thought that I put those earrings back in the drawer. Hmm, where would I have put them? I have a thought.”
I am just going to a wedding shower I don’t need earrings.
Nathan walks pass the bedroom on his way to the front door. He pokes his head in to ask if I am ready to go. I say “yes.” Just as I cross my bedroom threshold the phone rings. Ring. Do I answer it? I am on my way out and I do have an answering machine. Ring. I will let the machine get it. Ring. “You’ve reached the Thompson’s”. . .Beep. “Hey, Jessica and Nathan. It is Ashley Marlow. I am caught in a bind and I am in need of help whenever you get a chance please call me back at 555-5555.” Nathan looks at me puzzled standing in front of the foyer mirror and asks:
“Was that Ashley Marlow?”
“I think so. That’s random. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in about a month. It was back when we went to the Jynx show for Kelly’s 21st birthday at Breakers. And before then… I don’t know how long it has been.”
“Ashley was at breakers?”
“Yeah, remember when we saw her we forgot she was pregnant, but the fact could not be denied because she was carrying a basketball. Remember, it was really smoky and we started judging her for being at Breakers.”
“That’s right, what was she thinking?”
“Party! She sounded upset. Let me call her back real quick. It is still early and it is okay if Lacy and Kelly get to the church before we do.”

“Hey Ashley, what’s crack-a-lackin?”
“Were you screening?”
“You know it. That’s how I do?”
“I am looking for a place to live, My mom and I had it out and she wants me out of the house and Sasha told me that I need to stop trying to do it all and ask for help.”
“Are you serious? Your Mom is kicking you out? I am sorry to hear that. She does know you are pregnant right?”
“Ha ha ha, yeah she knows. I was wondering how much you would charge me to rent one of your rooms. It would be temporary from now until the baby is born and then I plan on moving in with Sasha.”
“Wow, I never thought about that. I am going to need to talk it over with Nathan. If we did charge you it would be 250 and that would include utilities. When would you need to move in?”
“In the next week or so. Call me back tonight and let me know.”
“Sounds good.”

Nathan had been standing next to me the entire time while I was on the phone. As I am hanging up the phone we are both looking at each other in disbelief. Our minds are now considering so many things. We know that our friend, Kelly Andrews, will be moving in at the beginning of November into the basement apartment. We know that we could use the extra money to help towards the house. We know this new living arrangement option will be temporary. Neither of us has lived with anyone outside of our family dynamic so the roommate situation will be a first. Neither of us are that close to Ashley so we can’t consider any bad habits. While on the way to the church we agree, “Okay, let’s do it, what the hell are we getting ourselves into?”

It is 12:30 and Kelly and her mom, Kay, are already at the church waiting for us to let them in to start decorating. We open the church hall doors and immediately get to work. Lacy Griffin and Sarah Schecter arrive within minutes. I don’t really know Sarah except from what Ashley Dunn has shared with me. Sarah is one of the bridesmaids and she and Ashley grew up together and have remained very close friends. From speaking with Sarah over the phone I could immediately tell that she and Ashley were exactly alike. Sarah goes to school out of state and was in town for the weekend. Lacy, the Maid of Honor, and Kelly, another Bridesmaid, and I initiated the shower and began planning in August through email. Every morning I would come into work and discover at least 5 emails from Lacy and Kelly in my mailbox.

Sarah wasn’t sure if she was going to be in town that weekend but felt extremely alienated from Lacy, Kelly and I because we had not included her in the planning. Sarah called Ashley and Ashley called me and told me how her dear friend was feeling. By the time this happened it was September and almost everything was finalized. I sent Sarah an email asking her to bring drinks. I was hoping this would appease her, but I don’t think it did. My thought is now confirmed as I am assisting Sarah with the party preparations; she seems uncomfortable with her current surroundings.

Kay is working with Aubrey, eight-year-old Junior Bridesmaid, to create a balloon arch over the food table. Lacy is working in the kitchen setting up the food trays and Kelly is decorating the tables. Jesse, Lacy’s Fiance, and Nathan are hanging decorations from the ceiling. Sarah stands next to the door with a disgruntled look on her face.
“Hey, Sarah! You look bored! Can you set up the gift table in this corner?”
“What?”
“I am sorry, the gift table needs to be decorated could you lend me a hand?”
“What do I do?”
“Here is a table cloth and some décor; do your thing however you see fit”

I walk over to Kelly to see how things are coming. Kelly pulls me aside to show me the sashes she made for the party. She didn’t know that Sarah was going to be able to make it so she didn’t have enough time to make her one. The sashes are a fuchsia pink with rhinestones scattered about. In big bold black lettering the sashes read: Bridesmaid Patrol. Kelly made them by hand. I am so impressed with her handy work. Kelly also takes out some tiaras she made that go with the sashes. Kelly asks if she thinks we should wear them or not since we don’t have one for Sarah.
I respond, “Of course we should, you made these especially for today; I will figure something out about Sarah.”

“Sarah, that looks great. Awesome job! Hey, we weren’t sure if you were going to be able to make it in time so we didn’t prepare a sash or tiara for you.” I present Sarah with the tiara that Kelly made for me. “We really want you to feel included; would you like to wear the tiara?”
“Sure.”
With only thirty minutes before show time Lacy receives a phone call from Ashley Dunn. Apparently Ashley had a run in with her kitchen cabinet door and the door won. So she and her Fiancé, Patrick, will be late.

People start rolling in. David is walking around with a video camera asking everyone to give advice or wish the couple well for their upcoming nuptials. Things are going great. David and I finally make our way around to the notorious Ida Dunn, Mother of the Bride, and she says, “Remember that words hurt”. Right as she says those words Patrick and Ashley arrive.

Fifteen minutes later, Scott Thompson, Patrick and Nathan’s father, gives a toast followed by a toast by Ashley’s dad, Dan Dunn, and everyone goes back to eating and mingling. The table with Ashley’s parents is also accompanied by Sarah’s mom. I can tell Lacy and Kelly are becoming annoyed by Ida’s constant ribbing: “Why doesn’t Sarah have a sash, is she not worthy of a sash? Sarah we will make you your own sash and it will be better than those marker ribbons their wearing.” Sarah played right into it by taking off her tiara and laughing hysterically.

I think to myself, this is interesting coming from a woman who just said “words hurt”.

Let’s play a game. I announce to the party that we are going to play an age-old game of
Dress the Bride. Now, I admit this game is not green friendly but it is a fun way to get the men involved. I call all of the dads and the uncles. I designate their wives and two chosen friends as their team and give each team ample toilet paper to create the dresses. Ashley and Patrick are selected as the judges and the timer on the clock starts. It is toilet paper pandemonium.
I nudge Nathan on the shoulder, “Want to place a small bet?”
“Yeah.”
“I bet you that no matter how they look Ashley’s Dad is going to win.”
“I’ll take that bet.”
I openly speak to the crowd: “Time! Let’s see these beautiful drag queens.”

Patrick’s Uncle Kevin wears the most impressionable dress, featuring a stuffed bra, but, as if Ashley and Patrick are two chess pawns that I had just put into play, Patrick announces, “Team Dunn is the winner.” Nathan and I give each other a friendly smile and I go on to announce the next game.

“We are going to play how well does Ashley and Patrick know each other.” The minute the words fall out of my mouth it is as if my brain yells stop don’t do it! “The way you play this game is: we are going to ask Ashley and Patrick a series of questions. If they get the answer right they get to open a present. If they don’t, we will go on to the next question.” I can feel it in the pit of my stomach: The party is going to go down hill from this point on.
“Ashley, Question number one: What is Patrick’s favorite drink?
“Oh, I know this. It is coffee!”
“Sorry, that is incorrect. It is Red Bull.”
“What?! Patrick, I thought you liked coffee!”
This game is starting to get really ugly because for every question the couple gets right they get three wrong. Ashley is getting so frustrated. I think the anaconda-sized vain pulsing on her forehead is about to burst. What made matters worse is that I was trying to rush Ashley through opening the gifts. The opening of the gifts portion of any party is so boring to most guests. That is unless you were born before 1950.

The Bridesmaid Patrol, excluding Sarah, whom I have excommunicated in my mind, had already made a pact to come back to my house, unwind and decompress from this bewildered catastrophe.
I must be completely insensitive because I am saying out loud, “Let’s get these presents open people.”
Ashley looks at Patrick with a stern eye and says, under her breath, “Take your time.”
After the fifth wrong question I throw away the questions because I am fearful for Patrick’s life. Quick mental note: