Reasons Why by A.H (mobi reader TXT) 📕

 

My mother used to tell me that there was always a reason to smile. When she got sick, I began to question her logic. But, it wasn't until she died that I began to truly hate those words that she spoke. I never understood why someone like my mother, who I knew suffered so much, never failed to smile every single day of her life. Well, I never understood until I met her

. 

*  * * 

Maybe it was the fact that I had money or my father was well known, but I didn’t get why people hung around with me. Normally, when you're a high school student who never talks or goes out, snaps at everyone around you and practically never smiles, you're pretty much made the outcast. So like I said, I didn’t really get it, but I guess I didn’t care either. The point is, that it was right then and there, standing in the school parking lot with my "friends", where I first saw her. 

She was walking towards the school, but she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. Instead, she stared up at the sky, like she had never seen it before. I looked up to see what she found so interesting, but other than a few clouds and the sun, the sky was empty. But still she looked up, with a huge smile on her face until she bumped into someone. I saw her lips starting to form her apology, but before the words escaped her mouth, she was interrupted. 

"Watch where you're going, freak

,"  Kendra said the words with as much venom as possible; she was the last person you would ever want to bump into. But, it was when she said those words that I realized I hadn't been the only one looking at the new girl, though she did catch my attention for different reasons. As I had noticed her smile and her expression, others noticed her clothes and hair. In my school, where there were stuck up snobs at every corner, originality wasn't really a popular concept. 

"Freak?" The girl said the word as she had never heard it before, and just when I thought she might burst out crying, she did the most unexpected thing ever. She laughed. It was a quiet yet trilling laugh, and for a minute I wondered if she was crazy. How many girls had I seen break down because of Kendra's words, and this girl just laughed it off?  

"Sorry I bumped into you," she said it kindly with the smile still on her face, and walked off.  

I couldn’t help but laugh at Kendra's expression. Now it was other people's turn to wonder if I

 was crazy. How long had it been since I laughed? Kendra shot me an angry look but I ignored it and walked off, hoping, for once, that this would be a good day.  But, I should have known that it wouldn’t be. By lunch, I was already back in my original bad mood. As I was walking to my last class of the day, I contemplated going home early, but then I noticed her walking into my English class. I had suddenly forgotten about my thoughts of going home. I felt as if I needed to know as much about this girl as possible. Despite the weird clothes and hair, I noticed she was different, but I hadn't yet figured out exactly how. 

* * * 

April. Her name was April Parks. Named for the month she was born in, she lived with both her parents and was an only child. She liked to volunteer at the hospital or the orphanage whenever she could and she donated all her allowance to different charities each week. I learned all this from only the first week of her coming to school. She had ended up sitting next to me in English class and she was one of those girls that never stopped talking. But also, for the first time in a long time, she was someone that didn’t annoy me. She talked most of the time, but occasionally she would ask me a question or two about my life. I never answered, maybe because there was nothing to say. She would give me a questioning look, but at the same time it was understanding, then she would move onto the next topic on her mind, which I was grateful for. It's like she somehow knew and understood how lifeless my life was. Sleep, eat, go to school, do homework, breathe, and repeat it all the next day. That was pretty much my life ever since that day. 

I remembered that day clearly. It was three years ago and every day of the month of May I spent in the hospital. My mom was in the last stage of her cancer and soon she was barely even able to talk. She smiled though, and every time she did, I felt the urge to punch something. It made no sense why she smiled even as she died. When she was gone, my dad threw himself into his work and except for a few words each day, we barely spoke anymore. I guess it wasn’t until my mom was gone that we realized how much she had held our family together. 

"That must have been terrible," whispered April. 

I was startled because it wasn’t until she spoke that I realized I had said my thoughts out loud. At that point we were in a meadow. April had lead me there, she said that it was the most peaceful place on earth, and I was beginning to believe her. 

"I can't imagine what that must have been like," she continued, "Losing your mom like that." 

"I didn’t even tell you the worst part." I said the words without thinking. I don’t know why I kept talking. I never told anyone about these thoughts, not even my dad. I specifically had kept up walls around these memories, but April was able to break them down so easily. 

"I was there when she died," I didn’t look at her face as I spoke, but instead I looked at the lily she was twirling in her hands. "One minute she was there talking to me, then I saw the life drain out of her eyes...and she was gone.  No one should ever have to watch someone they love die like that, it's not fair." I felt as if a huge weight was lifted off my chest as I spoke. I was holding those words in for three years and I was glad I could finally say them out loud. 

"I never really thought of it like that," April said.  

It hurt me to hear to the sadness in her voice, especially since I didn’t fully understand what she was trying to say. I saw her hands tighten around the lily she was holding. I looked up to try and read her expression, but her face was turned away from me. 

"What's wrong?" I asked, softly. 

After a moment of silence, April turned back around and, with a sad smile, tried to convince me that she was fine. I didn’t buy it, of course, but I thought that it would be better to leave her alone for the moment. She would tell me whatever is on her mind when it was the right time for her. 

"Do you want to leave?" My suggestion was only half-hearted, because even though I did not want to leave, I had a feeling she wanted to be alone. 

"Sure, but oh wait," April ran around the meadow and started to pick every lily in sight. She noticed my expression and answered my unasked question. "I collect these and set them around the hospital. It makes it less depressing around the place." 

"Why lilies?" I asked. From what I could see, there were much brighter, better looking flowers around the meadow. 

"Lilies represent hope and life," April said, her voice serious, "And that's exactly what the hospital needs." 

She said the words then walked off, back through the woods we came from. 

* * * 

It had only been a month since I first met April but it felt as if I had known her my whole life. She was able to get me to tell her things that I never thought I'd tell anyone about. She made me feel comfortable, and in only one month, I laughed more than I ever did in the in past three years. 

One day, April and I were sitting outside the hospital where she volunteered. Just my luck it was the same hospital where my mom had died. I refused to go in there when April asked me the first time to help her volunteer and she hadn’t asked me again. April was telling me about the kids she was helping around the hospital, but the stories were too sad, so I stopped listening. 

"Why are you always so depressed?" April demanded. 

I was shocked. I thought that she, more than anyone, understood. So I couldn’t believe she had asked me that question. 

"Do you honestly need to ask?" I asked. 

"Yes, because I don't understand," Her voice was serious, and just as I was about to argue back, she continued, "Look I know that you're mom passing away was hard on you, but that was a long time ago, and you can't just keep shutting yourself out from everyone." April's voice rose with every word she spoke and by the end she was practically yelling. I couldn’t understand why she was so angry.  

"I don’t shut you 

out," I said truthfully. 

"Yeah, well I may not always be around," she muttered, glumly. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, confused. 

She ignored my question and instead grabbed my hand and started to drag me towards that hospital. "What are you doing? I told you, I'm never going in there again." I said angrily.  

"Well now you don't have a choice." April said as she pulled me through the doors. 

I struggled as much as I could, but, not wanting to make a scene, I didn’t apply enough force to actually pull free of her grasp. She walked around the hospital like she knew it inside and out and I wondered how much time did she actually spend there. No matter how much I objected, she dragged me to meet the little kids she helped in her free time. I didn’t say much when I met them. I was glad that April did most of the talking, because I was sure that even if I could talk, I would have no idea what to say. I didn’t know how April did it, how did she talk so easily to the kids who were most likely going to die before they got to live their lives.  

We were on our way to the fourth kid that April wanted me to visit when my anger finally could not be contained.  

"What are you doing?" I demanded furiously, "If you're trying to get me more depressed, well then, mission accomplished." 

"You idiot!" she exclaimed, frustrated, "I'm trying to show you how you're so depressed all the