The Diagnosis by Leslie David Riddick (best self help books to read txt) 📕

DEDICATION
I've written so many things about my life and only at the end give acknowledgment to the angels in my life. Well, this is for you. I've went through so many things in the past few years that I don't know how I would have made it without all of you.
When God needs me to be right, He sends one of you. I listened to prayers from an Angel who keeps me on the right path with God. She actually prayed over the phone to me and it made me so overwhelmed I cried after the prayer was given to me. This was when I was recovering from the pneumonia.
Another angel always looked out for me when I wasn't sure of myself. Another let me know that I can do better than what's in front of me.
I can always say my angels took care of me through the toughest times and I can't deny that. I am forever grateful to all of you in my angel group and I will always love what you've done for me in my life. I never feel alone because of all of you. My success means nothing without someone to share it with. I'm blessed, happy, and overjoyed to have special, spiritual and loving people in my life. I thank God every day for giving me the special people that bring me to do my best in life. All of you that I call my angels are Gods instrument in bringing me joy and peace in my life. I don't know where I would be without you. I truly want to thank you for being there for me. It doesn't matter if you move out the state, find another job, or work right beside me, I still feel very close to you all. Because of all of you, I'm still here to give testimony of God's endless devotion to his children. All of us will succeed in our plight of success. He knows where we will end up, and He also knows what we need. All of you angels will receive huge blessings from God and I am ever so proud of each and every one of you.

There are many valves and muscles that makes my heart work. I have Angels. All own a valve to my heart. Angels make it beat the way it should and fixes it when it's broken. I truly love my life. I love my Angels, my daughters and especially my sister. She's performed so many heart surgeries on me; she deserves a Nobel peace prize for her work. My Angels are a God send and I cherish their existence here on earth every day.

Thanks to Angels
Linda Bolden: Thank you for your heart and helping me put this all together
Jacquline Brewer: Thank you for all your encouragement
Jackie Cobbin: My very special spiritual friend
Stephenia Purnell: Thanks for working with me. We started in healthcare the same time.


The Diagnosis

An Eye Opening Experience

15 years ago I was working at a major Hospital as a Dispatcher on 2nd shift. After work I went home and went to bed. When I woke up, I couldn't see out of my left eye. It was really weird. I thought maybe I got sleep in my eye or I wasn't fully awake yet. I did notice I could see everything on the side of me (peripheral vision), but my direct vision was blacked out. It's like putting black paint in the middle of a camera. No matter what you look at through the lenses, it was a black dot directly in front of it. I thought it would wear off.
I actually drove to work that day. I was so disoriented from the vision, I was lucky I didn’t have an accident. I decided to go see an eye doctor. Hell, I worked at a hospital. Somebody could tell me something. I saw the Doctor and he was really intrigued by my vision. He went out and brought another older Doctor in. I took tests and x-rays. I was told the optic nerve in my eye was not receiving images. I thought it was kind of funny. He explained that the part of the eye that makes you see was being blocked by an inflamed optic nerve. The inflammation was blocking the ability for me to see. He said I can actually see what's coming into my vision, but the part that goes back out which enables your brain to see what you're looking at was blocked. That's why I have the blockage. The term used was Retro bulbar Neuritis. I'll never forget that word. I asked what causes that. He said a combination of stress, nerves and other things. Well, I took medication and it went away in about 3 or 4 days. He also said after my eye sight came back when he looked into my eye, the color of my optic nerve turned colors. It's supposed to be a bright pink, but mine was pale white. He said sometimes that's a sign for Multiple Sclerosis. He said I had to take an MRI to see if I had it. I took it and there was no signs of it. I thought everything was fine after that. I didn't really know that much about MS and didn't look into it anymore. Well, 3 years later the same thing happened to my left eye again. It wasn't as severe as the 1st one, but I had to see a Neurologist. I took an MRI again but, still no sign of MS. I had to take an MRI every 2 or 3 years after that just as a routine.


Weebles and Wobbles

Well, in 2004 during mid-summer I started feeling off balance. When I stood still I felt like a skyscraper swaying back and forth. I didn't understand it. What's up with this swaying?
I saw another Doctor and he thought it was an ear issue, since that has a lot to do with my equilibrium. He gave me some stuff for my ear to relieve pressure in it thinking that was the problem, well it wasn't and it was getting a little worse.
I went to an ear specialist because the Doctor thought I may have an infection in my ear. The Ear doctor took another MRI to see if there were any tumors or inflammation around the ear. That Doctor told me I needed to see a neurologist. I asked him why? What did he see? He said there were no tumors and nothing wrong with my ear, but I should see a Neurologists. Still not clicking in my head what's going on.
In 2004 while I was experiencing the swaying, I actually started having falls. It was in November when it started. I still can't explain it but, whenever I would stand up to walk, it was like my legs wouldn't move and I would find myself on the floor. The strange thing was, I thought my feet were moving so I couldn't figure out why this was happening to me. When I say I fell, I mean I FELL… BAM Straight to the floor. I bruised my shoulder; elbows even had bruises on my head. Friends at work were teasing me because it looked like I was getting physically abused at home. This couldn’t happen because I lived alone. Did they assume I was abusing myself? Anyway, enough was enough and that's the main reason why I went to see the Doctor.
When I saw the Neurologist (Doctor different doctor this time) he went through my history and he found out about the eye issue years back. So of course I took the MRI again looking for MS. The results changed my life.
I went to the doctor ALONE and I sat in the office and he came in and didn't sugarcoat anything. He said your MRI you took for your eye showed signs of MS. I was stunned. I mean I didn't really expect that one. He then said I had to take another one with some kind of dye so the MRI would show the sclerosis (part of MS). I left and got in my car. It started snowing outside and as I sat in my car I cried. I mean I cried for awhile. The only call I could make was to my Dispatcher (Angel now) and told her what happened. She talked to me and got me strong enough to go home. When I got home and collected myself, I called my sister and told her what happened, I was really proud of her because she took over after that. She said I'm going with you this time whether you want me to or not. I thought that was great. I forget how Tina my oldest daughter found out, I think my sister called her. Well both of them came with me to see the Doctor the 2nd time. I had taken the MRI and this was result time. By this time I couldn't even write. I mean when we got to the doctor and I had to write the check for the co-pay, I couldn't write. I didn't have control of my hand and I was really upset then. My sister had to write the check for me. We went into see the doctor and he told us I had MS. I think my heart sank to my feet. I really don't remember the rest of the visit. My sister had to tell me later what he said. I know they were talking about taking shots 3 times a week and other things. When we left, we had to tell my youngest daughter who was waiting at my oldest daughters apartment.
I was really glad my sister was there because she really helped me explain to my youngest daughter what I had and what MS was. She was only worried if this meant I was dying. after she found out I wasn't, I think she knew I was going to be OK. She asked a few questions, but that was it. She just wanted to know her dad was still going to be around. Teenagers!!! My oldest daughter was mad because she wasn’t made aware of the things going on with me. She really let my sister have it for not telling her.


The Aftermath

I started seeing my original Neurologist in December. I had a follow up later. This Neurologist is the one I've dealt with since I lost my vision (Retro bulbar Neuritis) over 11 years ago, which began my journey with MS. My Neurologist is very thorough and very very good at what she does. I've been hesitant recently, but I now have no choice but to give this my full and utmost attention. My visit was sobering to say the least. We talked for 2.5 hours about my condition. She took a lot of motor skill tests and retrieved all my tests that I've taken in the past 5 years. She questioned me about my trips I took and was glad I found out I couldn't handle the trips as I would have liked.
My motor skills have diminished. My vision has decreased in my left eye and my fatigue is more constant than before. She told me my progression of