La La by Kim Lenor (ap literature book list txt) 📕

Chapter 1
I was lying on my bedroom floor naked and screaming in agonizing pain, drenched with sweat. I cried out for help but no one heard me. Obviously I had waited too long, shit I thought the pain I started having earlier was nothing to be tripping over but hours later labor had snuck up on me and paralyzed me. There was no phone I could get to because it had been turned off for weeks.

The neighborhood seemed to be particularly loud this scorching Fourth of July summer night with gunshots, people arguing, police and ambulance sirens, so no one heard me or came to my rescue. Daisha was barely one year old and though she stood in her crib crying and calling out to me from her bedroom across the hall, she without a doubt couldn’t help me.

Through my screams I was able to rationalize that something terrible was happening, so I reached my hand down between my bloody legs and felt the top of La La’s head and that’s when it happened. I looked up to see a beautiful woman sitting on my bed watching me expressionless. The pain caused me not to wonder how she got there or why she was there, I just reached out my arms to her signaling for help because I felt myself becoming increasingly weak as if the blood that poured from my body was my very soul leaving me.

The woman’s eyes were like looking up into a blue sky on a beautiful summer day. She looked as if she was a combination of every nationality, and her skin appeared to be soft and smooth. She was every beautiful woman that I had ever seen pushed into this one flawless frame. I mean… she was built like a supermodel, she was un-humanly perfect.
She wore a white body suit that hugged her curves seductively and she seemed to be strong but I could tell that she was longing for something as well because she was a bit anxious or desperate in a way.
She stood up on her bare feet and circled around me a couple of times, walking ever so gently but leaving perfectly shaped footprints on the dingy gray carpet. I cried out in a desperate whisper, “Help me please,” but she just continued to stare at me as she sat down beside me on the floor and began to wipe my tears with her long flowing beautiful multicolored earth toned hair, which was like the softest cloth I had ever felt.

The woman asked in a peaceful soft voice, “You left me before and I missed you so much and now you cry for my help?”

“I don’t know you, who are you?” I said between grasp for air.

Then she laid beside me facing me with her head rested on her hand and began to whisper in my ear, “You know me but you’ve forgotten me… I’ll remind you though… My name is Life, do you remember me now Sunny?”

“No, I’m sorry but please just help me, I’m dying,” I pleaded.

“I would never let you die, I love you,” she said as she laid her head on my breast. “You are my Sunshine, your mother’s gift to me. You’re still so beautiful, long luxurious fine hair, beautiful brown eyes. Even in agonizing pain you are still so beautiful. Your breasts are like perfect firm mountains, covered with sandy colored cashmere or silk. Even with child you have the body of a goddess. You are captivating like sun rays filling the earth, which is why I named you Sunshine, my Sunshine. You loved me once Sunny and I fed off of your love, we need each other. I’m saddened that you’ve forgotten me and all the fun times we’ve had and how good I’ve made you feel time after time after time. But you’ve betrayed me my love and now you cry for my help?”

“I’m sorry,” I faintly replied.

“What will you give me so that I may repair my broken heart… if I help you?” She said almost childishly.

“Whatever you ask, whatever I have. Just please don’t let my baby die.”

“You will come back to me?” Life asked.
“Yes…,” I said desperately.

“You have to ask me again, three times will make it official and I desire that you call out to me with your request.”

“Life, please help me!” I cried out.

“So be it,” Life replied seductively.

When I said those words, wind seemed to blow around her and through her hair but I couldn’t feel it at all and she seemed to be getting strong. No longer was she desperate or longing. Then a calm and peaceful feeling came over me as she positioned herself between my legs. I could feel her hands pierce my body and grasp hold of my baby.

“This one has a gift like you. Give her over to me,” Life snapped.

At that the pain I felt increased ten times and all I wanted at that point was relief or to die.

“You want my baby?”

“Yes but I will allow you time with her, many years, and call this one… Ladia.

"Ladia…,” I repeated almost completely drained of energy.

"Yes, in turn I will give you pleasure in a way that I’ve never given it to you before and I will keep the pain away as long as you stay with me? Or you and your baby will die right here, right now,” Life empathically pleaded.

“Please take the pain away,” I said breathlessly.

“If you betray me again, I will punish you. I will banish you to a cold corner like a child my love but I will give you a window to watch life pass you by... Now Sunny give me your tongue!” Life nearly whispered.

I felt the most intense pain I had ever felt between my thighs for a split second and when Life put her fingertip against my tongue the pain turned into the ultimate burst of pleasure. Every good feeling a person could possibly have came over me. I felt willingly stuck somewhere between the height of an orgasm and what it might feel like to be embraced by god himself. At that moment there was no bad in the world at all, no rainy days or lonely black nights. Pain of any and all sorts had left from me. I was lost in a euphoric ecstasy that some will never experience and some should never want to. Life had taken all the pain away as she promised but she had charged me with the life of my baby.

Oblivious to time I woke up in a hospital room. I began to panic realizing that the heaviness that I had carried for months was gone from my belly. As I ripped the hospital equipment from my body, I wondered had Life taken my baby and I began to yell, “Ladia! Ladia! She took her and I never got a chance to see her face! I never got a chance to say goodbye! She promised me time!”

The nurse rushed into my room and tried to calm me, “No one has taken your baby, she is in the NIC unit. You can probably see her soon, she appears to be doing fine.”

“How did I get here?”

“Your sister found you nearly overdosed, with your baby laying on the floor crying. Miss Starr, you could have killed your baby with those drugs.”
“I never did drugs while I was pregnant.”

“Oh really,” she said as if she didn’t believe me at all. “Well what made you wait until the day you were in labor to shoot up?”

“I shot up? What did I shoot?”

“Heroin.”

“What? I’ve never done heroin before. I snorted coke for the first three months I was pregnant with my oldest daughter Daisha but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I stopped.”

“Oh so you just mysteriously got a hold of some heroin and shot up for the first time today? Yeah, well don’t try to convince me, save it for the authorities and the social worker. You just better be glad that your baby is okay. I’m not supposed to say this but woman like you really get under my skin. Drug addicts popping out babies left and right when good, clean, loving women can’t make a baby if they had sex for 24 hours a day. Women that would be so dedicated to a child and love it immensely. Yet two bit crackheads are the most fertile beings I ever seen. Then what? Throw these beautiful precious babies off on someone else and then you go chasing after the dragon again. Don’t you know you’ll never catch it? But blame that on what huh… Life? Yeah, yeah I’ve heard it all before!”

“Yeah… that was her… Life… You know her? She came to you too before?”

“You still trippin huh? Just buzz if you need me,” she said as she threw the buzzer at me and walked out of the room.

When I finally got to see Ladia, my La La… I immediately started crying, she was such a beautiful baby. At first I thought they had brought me the wrong baby because she was so light. She had this long, bone straight full head of black hair like she does now and light brown eyes. She hasn’t changed at all, she still looks the exact same, she just went from 5 pounds eight ounces to 5 foot 6 135 pounds!
I promised myself that I was going to get myself together and be right for my babies, and I tried for a while. I did everything everybody said but the courts still ended up giving my babies to my sister Niecee. I mean hell I wasn’t really tripping about that because at least they were not in foster care with some strangers. Besides they all live right next door so I’m still with them, they just don’t live here. As far as Life, I don’t know, I just don’t know. I’m not going to let her get my Ladia though, I’m not. Ladia is a fighter but even over my damn dead body Life won’t get her.”

Chapter 2

It was a while ago when I sat on the porch outside of my mother’s living room window listening to her tell that story about the day I was born to her new crack buddy. She often talked about this "beautiful" woman that came to her at her most desperate moment, and she always told the story so convincingly.

Personally, I just thought it was an excuse she used to justify her doing crack and heroin. However, whether I, my sister Daisha or my aunt Neecie believed it, it was apparent that my mother, Sunshine or Sunny as we call her, believed it.

People have always asked me why I call my mother Sunny. I call her mom or mommy sometimes because no matter what she gave birth to me so that makes her my mother but I don't hesitate to tell no one that she is more like my sister. She didn’t raise me and Daisha and she doesn't act like any other mothers I know. She's a crackhead and she has been since as