Travels Through France And Italy by Tobias Smollett (fastest ebook reader .txt) 📕

Veracity.

The Next Letter You Have From Me Will Probably Be Dated At

Nismes, Or Montpellier. Mean-While, I Am Ever

Madam,--I Shall Be Much Pleased If The Remarks I Have Made On The

Characters Of The French People, Can Afford You The Satisfaction

You Require. With Respect To The Ladies I Can Only Judge From

Their Exteriors: But, Indeed, These Are So Characteristic, That

One Can Hardly Judge Amiss; Unless We Suppose That A Woman Of

Taste And Sentiment May Be So Overruled By The Absurdity Of What

Is Called Fashion, As To Reject Reason, And Disguise Nature, In

Order To Become Ridiculous Or Frightful. That This May Be The

Case With Some Individuals, Is Very Possible. I Have Known It

Happen In Our Own Country, Where The Follies Of The French Are

Adopted And Exhibited In The Most Aukward Imitation: But The

General Prevalence Of Those Preposterous Modes, Is A Plain Proof

That There Is A General Want Of Taste, And A General Depravity Of

Nature. I Shall Not Pretend To Describe The Particulars Of A

French Lady's Dress. These You Are Much Better Acquainted With

Than I Can Pretend To Be: But This I Will Be Bold To Affirm, That

France Is The General Reservoir From Which All The Absurdities Of

False Taste, Luxury, And Extravagance Have Overflowed The

Different Kingdoms And States Of Europe. The Springs That Fill

This Reservoir, Are No Other Than Vanity And Ignorance. It Would

Be Superfluous To Attempt Proving From The Nature Of Things, From

The First Principles And Use Of Dress, As Well As From The

Consideration Of Natural Beauty, And The Practice Of The

Ancients, Who Certainly Understood It As Well As The Connoisseurs

Of These Days, That Nothing Can Be More Monstrous, Inconvenient,

And Contemptible, Than The Fashion Of Modern Drapery. You

Yourself Are Well Aware Of All Its Defects, And Have Often

Ridiculed Them In My Hearing. I Shall Only Mention One Particular

Of Dress Essential To The Fashion In This Country, Which Seems To

Me To Carry Human Affectation To The Very Farthest Verge Of Folly

And Extravagance; That Is, The Manner In Which The Faces Of The

Ladies Are Primed And Painted. When The Indian Chiefs Were In

England Every Body Ridiculed Their Preposterous Method Of

Painting Their Cheeks And Eye-Lids; But This Ridicule Was Wrong

Placed. Those Critics Ought To Have Considered, That The Indians

Do Not Use Paint To Make Themselves Agreeable; But In Order To Be

The More Terrible To Their Enemies. It Is Generally Supposed, I

Think, That Your Sex Make Use Of Fard And Vermillion For Very

Different Purposes; Namely, To Help A Bad Or Faded Complexion, To

Heighten The Graces, Or Conceal The Defects Of Nature, As Well As

The Ravages Of Time. I Shall Not Enquire At Present, Whether It

Is Just And Honest To Impose In This Manner On Mankind: If It Is

Not Honest, It May Be Allowed To Be Artful And Politic, And

Shews, At Least, A Desire Of Being Agreeable. But To Lay It On As

The Fashion In France Prescribes To All The Ladies Of Condition,

Who Indeed Cannot Appear Without This Badge Of Distinction, Is To

Disguise Themselves In Such A Manner, As To Render Them Odious

And Detestable To Every Spectator, Who Has The Least Relish Left

For Nature And Propriety. As For The Fard Or White, With Which

Their Necks And Shoulders Are Plaistered, It May Be In Some

Measure Excusable, As Their Skins Are Naturally Brown, Or Sallow; 

But The Rouge, Which Is Daubed On Their Faces, From The Chin Up

To The Eyes, Without The Least Art Or Dexterity, Not Only

Destroys All Distinction Of Features, But Renders The Aspect

Really Frightful, Or At Best Conveys Nothing But Ideas Of Disgust

And Aversion. You Know, That Without This Horrible Masque No

Married Lady Is Admitted At Court, Or In Any Polite Assembly; And

That It Is A Mark Of Distinction Which No Bourgeoise Dare Assume.

Ladies Of Fashion Only Have The Privilege Of Exposing Themselves

In These Ungracious Colours. As Their Faces Are Concealed Under A

False Complexion, So Their Heads Are Covered With A Vast Load Of

False Hair, Which Is Frizzled On The Forehead, So As Exactly To

Resemble The Wooly Heads Of The Guinea Negroes. As To The Natural

Hue Of It, This Is A Matter Of No Consequence, For Powder Makes

Every Head Of Hair Of The Same Colour; And No Woman Appears In

This Country, From The Moment She Rises Till Night, Without Being

Compleatly Whitened. Powder Or Meal Was First Used In Europe By

The Poles, To Conceal Their Scald Heads; But The Present Fashion

Of Using It, As Well As The Modish Method Of Dressing The Hair,

Must Have Been Borrowed From The Hottentots, Who Grease Their

Wooly Heads With Mutton Suet And Then Paste It Over With The

Powder Called Buchu. In Like Manner, The Hair Of Our Fine Ladies

Is Frizzled Into The Appearance Of Negroes Wool, And Stiffened

With An Abominable Paste Of Hog's Grease, Tallow, And White

Powder. The Present Fashion, Therefore, Of Painting The Face, And

Adorning The Head, Adopted By The Beau Monde In France, Is Taken

From Those Two Polite Nations The Chickesaws Of America And The

Hottentots Of Africa. On The Whole, When I See One Of Those Fine

Creatures Sailing Along, In Her Taudry Robes Of Silk And Gauze,

Frilled, And Flounced, And Furbelowed, With Her False Locks, Her

False Jewels, Her Paint, Her Patches, And Perfumes; I Cannot Help

Looking Upon Her As The Vilest Piece Of Sophistication That Art

Ever Produced.

This Hideous Masque Of Painting, Though Destructive Of All

Beauty, Is, However, Favourable To Natural Homeliness And

Deformity. It Accustoms The Eyes Of The Other Sex, And In Time

Reconciles Them To Frightfull Objects; It Disables Them From

Perceiving Any Distinction Of Features Between Woman And Woman;

And, By Reducing All Faces To A Level, Gives Every Female An

Equal Chance For An Admirer; Being In This Particular Analogous

To The Practice Of The Antient Lacedemonians, Who Were Obliged To

Chuse Their Helpmates In The Dark. In What Manner The Insides Of

Their Heads Are Furnished, I Would Not Presume To Judge From The

Conversation Of A Very Few To Whom I Have Had Access: But From

The Nature Of Their Education, Which I Have Heard Described, And

The Natural Vivacity Of Their Tempers, I Should Expect Neither

Sense, Sentiment, Nor Discretion. From The Nursery They Are

Allowed, And Even Encouraged, To Say Every Thing That Comes

Uppermost; By Which Means They Acquire A Volubility Of Tongue,

And A Set Of Phrases, Which Constitutes What Is Called Polite

Conversation. At The Same Time They Obtain An Absolute Conquest

Over All Sense Of Shame, Or Rather, They Avoid Acquiring This 

Troublesome Sensation; For It Is Certainly No Innate Idea. Those

Who Have Not Governesses At Home, Are Sent, For A Few Years, To A

Convent, Where They Lay In A Fund Of Superstition That Serves

Them For Life: But I Never Heard They Had The Least Opportunity

Of Cultivating The Mind, Of Exercising The Powers Of Reason, Or

Of Imbibing A Taste For Letters, Or Any Rational Or Useful

Accomplishment. After Being Taught To Prattle, To Dance And Play

At Cards, They Are Deemed Sufficiently Qualified To Appear In The

Grand Monde, And To Perform All The Duties Of That High Rank And

Station In Life. In Mentioning Cards, I Ought To Observe, That

They Learn To Play Not Barely For Amusement, But Also With A View

To Advantage; And, Indeed, You Seldom Meet With A Native Of

France, Whether Male Or Female, Who Is Not A Compleat Gamester,

Well Versed In All The Subtleties And Finesses Of The Art. This

Is Likewise The Case All Over Italy. A Lady Of A Great House In

Piedmont, Having Four Sons, Makes No Scruple To Declare, That The

First Shall Represent The Family, The Second Enter Into The Army,

The Third Into The Church, And That She Will Breed The Fourth A

Gamester. These Noble Adventurers Devote Themselves In A

Particular Manner To The Entertainment Of Travellers From Our

Country, Because The English Are Supposed To Be Full Of Money,

Rash, Incautious, And Utterly Ignorant Of Play. But Such A

Sharper Is Most Dangerous, When He Hunts In Couple With A

Female. I Have Known A French Count And His Wife, Who Found Means

To Lay The Most Wary Under Contribution. He Was Smooth, Supple,

Officious, And Attentive: She Was Young, Handsome, Unprincipled,

And Artful. If The Englishman Marked For Prey Was Found Upon His

Guard Against The Designs Of The Husband, Then Madam Plied Him On

The Side Of Gallantry. She Displayed All The Attractions Of Her

Person. She Sung, Danced, Ogled, Sighed, Complimented, And

Complained. If He Was Insensible To All Her Charms, She Flattered

His Vanity, And Piqued His Pride, By Extolling The Wealth And

Generosity Of The English; And If He Proved Deaf To All These

Insinuations She, As Her Last Stake, Endeavoured To Interest His

Humanity And Compassion. She Expatiated, With Tears In Her Eyes,

On The Cruelty And Indifference Of Her Great Relations;

Represented That Her Husband Was No More Than The Cadet Of A

Noble Family --, That His Provision Was By No Means Suitable.

Either To The Dignity Of His Rank, Or The Generosity Of His

Disposition: That He Had A Law-Suit Of Great Consequence

Depending, Which Had Drained All His Finances; And, Finally, That

They Should Be Both Ruined, If They Could Not Find Some Generous

Friend, Who Would Accommodate Them With A Sum Of Money To Bring

The Cause To A Determination. Those Who Are Not Actuated By Such

Scandalous Motives, Become Gamesters From Meer Habit, And, Having

Nothing More Solid To Engage Their Thoughts, Or Employ Their

Time, Consume The Best Part Of Their Lives, In This Worst Of All

Dissipation. I Am Not Ignorant That There Are Exceptions From

This General Rule: I Know That France Has Produced A Maintenon, A

Sevigine, A Scuderi, A Dacier, And A Chatelet; But I Would No

More Deduce The General Character Of The French Ladies From These

Examples, Than I Would Call A Field Of Hemp A Flower-Garden.

Because There Might Be In It A Few Lillies Or Renunculas Planted

By The Hand Of Accident.