Don't be a Dick by Gabby Follin (young adult books to read TXT) 📕

Do you think if I did kill myself, anyone would care?

I’d like to think Mark does, but he’s got his head up waaaay in his own ass…

Too many thoughts concerning Emily.

Not one concerning me.

Anyway…

I’ll just try to keep my head up. It always gets better after high school. I’m halfway there, just need to push for a little while longer.

That’s all I can really think about anymore.

The future, leaving this place behind.

I think about meeting a girl and starting a whole family with her, one that isn’t broken and fucked up like mine.

At this point I’m not sure any girl in the world would wanna shack up with me.

Maybe I’m wrong, but until that day comes, I’m convinced it won’t.

Anyway, thinking about this stuff is currently pointless, there’s absolutely no point to it at all.

I just really wish something went my way for once, but there’s also the fact that I don’t really try for that matter.

That’s my own fault, I know, but something could happen.

Some motivation preferably.

Motivation for something.

No sign of Alex anywhere. He’s probably just moving around from place to place so I won’t ever know he was there. But that can’t be it, because I’ve been asking around if anyone has seen him. I also have to consider the fact no one really sees Alex anyway…

I give up finally thinking about where he could really be. He could have left school altogether if I knew. I also know that Alex isn’t anything like that, kid wouldn’t skip a class even if it meant he’d get shot.

He’s a good kid… my best friend.

I stop thinking about Alex’s unknown hiding spot and start thinking about my next class I have to get to.

The bell has rung like two minutes ago so I have three more to get to the room.

I start walking up the hallway that leads to the Janitor’s closet and the Library. As I walk by, I peek in the window of the library just out of curiosity and I see Alex standing at the counter, checking out a book.

Butterflies flutter around in my stomach as I catch sight of him, should I wait? Or go?

I’m not sure how long he will be so… I’ll just go.

As I start to walk away, I hear the door creak open. I take a glance behind my shoulder and Alex is standing there with the door open staring at me.

“Mark.” He says.

I give him a half smile and I continue walking.

I don’t want to bother him, not anymore than I have. If he doesn’t want to talk, it’s not my place to keep trying to pry it out of him.

I’ll see him in a couple of hours. Lunch is done, he had his chance to see me. Now he’ll have to wait until last period rolls around. Two hours before that comes.

…

Boring, boring, boring! Boring I tell you. I’m pretty sure all of this information is going to be completely pointless in the max of five years.

I mean maybe not, depends if I go to college or not.

Mom has been bugging me about that speaking of…

But anyway, no time to think about the future, last hour here I come!

We’ll get to see if Alex is in his right mind and wants to talk now.

Maybe he won’t be, guess we’ll have to find out.

I enter the classroom and there’s only about three kids standing around talking to each other. None of them are Alex. I take a seat in the corner of the room, and put my back up in the one next to me to save it for Alex. No one ever saves a seat for Alex.

Minutes roll by, the minute bell has rung now and still no Alex. All the kids are in their seats now, getting a notebook and pencil out, ready to learn.

At the last few seconds before the actual bell rings, Alex rushes into the classroom and almost sprints back into the seat I have saved for him. At the speed he’s walking, almost running at, I quickly remove my backpack from the seat and sit it under my desk. He sits down immediately and looks down at his desk, not at me. He quietly and swiftly grabs a notebook and pencil. I watch every move he makes.

I’m staring at him intently, hoping that a creepy feeling will well over him to look up to see what’s going on.

But the more and longer I stare, nothing happens.

I know Mark is staring at me, but I’m not going to look up.

When I saw him as I came out of the library, I was going to tell him I wanted to talk but he just walked away so I didn’t even bother.

After all this time of us being friends, I thought he cared. Maybe he was just my friend out of pity. I’m not sure but I really don’t think he cares about how I feel, or maybe he just doesn’t want to hear it because it’ll make him sad or.. Something besides happy.

I can feel Mark’s intense stare burn into the side of my head. I refuse to look up, not at the teacher, not at him. I just stare at my notebook and write anything I hear the teacher say.

All the sudden, my hand stops moving. I lay back and slump in my chair, and I stare dully at the wall.

This is a sad way to live, isn’t it? It’s not right.

No one cares about you, maybe not even yourself. That’s how I’m starting to feel..

I finally look up, but only to check the clock. There’s about ten minutes of class left but at that point the teacher has stopped teaching so we can stack up chairs and getting ready for the dismissing bell.

I stand up while the other kids have already started to stack their chairs. I put my notebook and pencil in my backpack and zip it up. I put my hand around the base of my chair and turn around to put it with the rest of it’s family. Once I turned around, Mark is standing right there and I hit him with the chair.

“I’m sorry.”I say.

Mark doesn’t say anything, but instead gently takes the chair out from my hands and puts it away for me.

Once he put it at the top of the stack he comes back and picks up my backpack for me, I take it and put it around my back.

“I’m really sorry…”I whisper.

Mark doesn’t say anything.

“Mark.” I say.

He glances up, in the direction of the clock. Only a few minutes left.

“Why did you avoid me?”He asks.

“I needed time to think.” I reply.

“About what?”

I stare at the floor, too ashamed to look at Mark.

“You can’t blame me.”I say.

“Who said I was?”

“You pussied out this morning Mark… look at me.”I say quietly.

“What could I have done?”

“More than what you did…”

Mark seems to look fluttered, but doesn’t say a word.

“Mark…”I start to say.

Mark shoots a deviant look at me, furious, “Quit talking to me.”

My heart sank at the words and I just stare at the floor in sadness.

Why?

“Quit talking to me.” I say to Alex.

After snapping, I only felt slightly bad but at the same time, how could he blame me completely for what happened?

I don’t believe there was more that I could have done. I felt like I tried, didn’t I?

I guess that’s not the thing that matters, it’s Alex that matters. But I am so pissed he is blaming me for it all.

I’m not the one who beat him up. Does he not see how skinny and weak I am? I’m not a bodybuilder. I can’t pick up those guys and just throw them like they can us. Does he not realize that?

I think he’s just bitter because he got his ass kicked. Not that I wouldn’t either but… Come on? It’s not my fault.

Alex is staring at the floor, he looks very sad and slightly shocked. Immediately shame falls over me, why did I say that?

I’m still pissed regardless, it’s not my fault.. Right?

“Alex.”I say to him.

He looks up at me but doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”I say to him.

Alex just stares at me with a blank expression now. I don’t see anything regarding any emotion on his face.

He just nods slowly and turns to leave the room about a minute before the bell is supposed to ring.

The teacher stares at him as he walks out and then looks at me.

“Where in the heavens is he going?”

“He’s had a rough day, let him go.” I say.

The teacher says nothing but instead keeps messing with the papers on the desk.

The longest minute of my life finally passes the bell rings only a couple seconds off schedule. I walk slowly out of the classroom and down the hall to the door I normally go out of to meet mom in her car to pick me up, since she doesn’t like me riding the bus or anything of the sort.

As I’m about to push open the doors, someone grabs my arm. I look behind me to see who it is, I was kind of expecting Alex but in my surprise it’s Emily.

“Hi Markie.”She says to me.

“Hey..”I say quietly.

She pushes open the door for me, with her arm locked with mine.

She senses the sad vibes, “What’s wrong?” She asks nicely.

“Alex and I aren’t friends anymore.”I say plainly.

“Why not?”She asks.

“Kids a handful, I’m not even sure how I dealt with him all this time.”

She sighs, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

I shrug weakly.

All the sudden she smiles, “I know something that might make you feel a bit better.”

I stare at her in