The Arabian Nights Entertainments by Anonymous (best books to read .txt) 📕

the good lady told me so many things more, that I broke silence, declared to her my evil, pointed out to her the place where I had seen the object which caused it, and unravelled all the circumstances of my adventure. If you succeed, said I, and procure me the felicity of seeing that charming beauty, and revealing to her the passion with which I burn for her, you may depend upon it I will be grateful. My son, said the old woman, I know the lady you speak of; she is, as you judged right, the daughter of the first cadi of the city: I think it no wonder that you are in love with her; she is the handsomest, comeliest lady in Bagdad; but what I most boggle at is, that she is very proud and of difficult access. You see how strict our judges are in enjoining the punctual observance of the severe laws that lay women under such a burdensome constraint; and they are yet more strict in the observation of their own families: nay, the cadi you saw is more rigid than all the other magistrates put together. They are always preaching to their daughters what a heinous crime it is to show themselves to men; and by this means the girls themselves are so prepossessed with the notion, that they make no other use of their own eyes than to conduct them along the streets when necessity obliges them to go abroad. I do not say absolutely that the cadi's daughter is of that humour; but I still fear to meet with as great obstacles on her side as on her father's. Would to God you had loved some other lady, then I had not had so many difficulties to surmount. However, I shall employ all my wits to compass the thing; but time is required. In the mean time, take heart, and trust to me.

The old woman took leave; and as I weighed within myself all the obstacles she had been talking of, the fear of her not succeeding inflamed my illness. Next day she came again, and I read in her countenance that she had no favourable news to impart. She spoke thus: My child, I was not mistaken in the matter; I have somewhat else to conquer besides the vigilance of a father; you love an indifferent, insensible girl, who takes pleasure in making those to burn with love that suffer themselves to be charmed by her; when she has once gained that point, she will not deign them the least comfort. She heard me with pleasure, when I spoke of nothing but the torment she had made you undergo; but I had no sooner requested her to allow you to see, and converse with her, than, with a terrible look, You are very bold, said she, to make such a proposal to me; I discharge you ever to see me again with such discourse in your mouth.

Do not let this cast you down, continued she, I am not easily disheartened; and if your patience does but hold out, I am hopeful I shall compass my end. To shorten my story, said the young man, this good procuress made several attempts on my behalf with the proud enemy of my rest. The fret I thereby underwent inflamed my distemper to that degree that my physicians gave me quite over; so that I was looked on as a dead man, when the old woman came to give me life.

That nobody might hear what was said, she whispered in my ear, Remember now you owe me a present for the good news I bring you. These words produced a marvellous effect; I raised myself to sit up in the bed, and with transports made answer, You shall not be without a present: but what are the news you bring me? Dear sir, said she, you shall not die yet: I shall speedily have the pleasure to see you in perfect health, and very well satisfied with me. Yesterday being Monday, I went to see the lady you love, and found her in very good humour. I put on a sad countenance, and fetched many deep sighs, and began to squeeze out some tears: My good mother, said she, what is the matter with you? Why are you so cast down? Alas, my dear and honourable lady, said I, I have been just now with the young gentleman I spoke to you of the other day; his business is done; he is giving up his life for the love of you; it is a great injury, I assure you, and there is a great deal of cruelty on your side. I am at a loss to know, replied she, how you suppose me to be the cause of his death. How can I have contributed to it? How, replied I, did not you tell me the other day that he sat down before your window when you opened it to water your flower-pot? He then saw that prodigy of beauty, those charms that your looking-glass represents to you every day. From that moment he languished, and his disease is risen to that height, that he is reduced to the deplorable condition I have mentioned.

You remember well, added I, how rigorously you treated me the last time I was here, when I was offering to speak to you of his illness, and to propose means to rescue him from the danger he was in; when I took leave of you, I went straight to his house, and he no sooner knew by my countenance that I had brought him no favourable answer than his distemper increased. From that time, madam, he is ready to die, and I do not know whether you can save his life now, though you should take pity on him. This is just what I said to her, continued the old woman. The fear of your death shaked her, and I saw her face change colour. Is it true what you say? said she. Has he actually no other disease than what is occasioned by the love of me? Ah, madam, said I, that is too true; would to God it were false! Do you believe, said she, that the hope of seeing me would contribute any thing to rescue him from the danger he is in? Perhaps it may, said I, and if you will give me orders, I will try the remedy. Well, said she, sighing, make him hope to see me; but he can pretend to no other favours from me, unless he aspires to marry me, and my father gives his consent to it. Madam, replied I, your goodness overcomes me: I will go and see for the young gentleman, and tell him he is to have the pleasure of an interview with you: the most proper time I can think of, said she, for granting him that favour, is next Friday, at the time of noon-prayers. Let him take care to observe when my father goes out, and then come and plant himself over against the house, if so be his health permits him to come abroad. When he comes, I shall see him through my window, and shall come down and open the door to him; we shall then converse together during prayer-time, but he must be gone before my father returns.

It is now Tuesday, continued the old gentlewoman, you have till Friday to recruit your strength, and make the necessary dispositions for the interview. While the good old gentlewoman was telling her story, I felt my illness decrease, or rather, by the time she had done, I found myself perfectly well. Here, take this, said I, reaching out to her my purse, which was full, it is to you alone that I owe my cure. I reckon this money better employed than what I gave to the physicians, who have done nothing but tormented me during the whole course of my illness. When the lady was gone, I found I had strength enough to get up; and my relations, finding me so well, complimented me and went home.

On Friday morning the old woman came just when I was dressing myself, and laying out the finest clothes I had; I do not ask you, says she, how you do; what you are about is intimation enough of your health; but will you not bathe before you go to the first cadi's house? That will take up too much time, said I; I will content myself with calling a barber to get my head and beard shaved. Presently I ordered one of my slaves to call a barber that could do his business cleverly and expeditiously. The slave brought me this wretch you see here, who came in, and after saluting me, Sir, said he, you look as if you were not very well. I told him I was just recovered from a fit of sickness: I wish, said he, God may deliver you from all mischance; may his grace always go along with you. I hope, said I, he will grant your wish, for which I am very much obliged to you. Since you are recovering, said he, I pray God preserve your health; but now pray let us know what service I am to do; I have brought my razors and my lancets; do you desire to be shaved or to be bled? I replied, I am just recovered of a fit of sickness, and so you may readily judge I only want to be shaved: come, make haste, do not lose time in prattling, for I am in haste, and precisely at noon must be at a certain place.

The barber spent much time in opening his case, and preparing his razors: instead of putting water into the bason, he took a very handsome astrolabe out of his budget, and went very gravely out of my room to the middle of the yard to take the height of the sun; then he returned with the same grave pace, and, entering my room, Sir, said he, you will be pleased to know this day is Friday the 18th of the month Saffar, in the year 653, [Footnote: This year 653 is one of the Hegira, the common epocha of the Mahometans, and answers to the year 1255, from the nativity of Christ; from whence we may conjecture that these computations were made in Arabia about that time.] from the retreat of our great prophet from Mecca to Medina, and in the year 7320 [Footnote: As for the year 7320, the author is mistaken in that computation. The year 653 of the Hegira, and the 1255 of Christ, coincide only with the 1557 of the aera or the epocha of the Selucides, which is the same with that of Alexander the Great, who is called Iskender with two horns, according to the expression of the Arabians.] of the epocha of the great Iskender with two horns; and that the conjunction of Mars and Mercury signifies you cannot choose a better time than this very day for being shaved. But, on the other hand, the same conjunction is a bad presage to you. I learn from thence, that this day you run a great risk, not indeed of losing your life, but of an inconvenience which will attend you while you live. You are obliged to me for the advice I now give you to take care to avoid it; I should be sorry if it befel you.

You may guess, gentlemen, how sorry I was for having fallen into the hands of such a prattling impertinent barber; what an unseasonable adventure it was for a lover preparing for an interview! I was quite angry. I do not trouble my head, said I, in anger, with your advice and predictions, nor did I call you to consult your astrology; you came here to shave me, so pray do it, or be gone, and I will call another barber. Sir, said he, with a dulness that put me out of all patience, what reason have you to be angry with me? You do not know that all barbers are not like me, and that you could scarcely find such another, if you made it your business to search. You only sent for a barber: but here, in my person, you have the best barber in Bagdad; an experienced physician, a very profound chemist, an infallible astrologer, a finished grammarian, a complete orator, a subtle logician, a mathematician perfectly conversant in geometry, arithmetic, astronomy, and all the divisions of algebra; an historian fully master of the histories of all the kingdoms of the universe; besides, I know all parts of philosophy, and have all the traditions upon my finger ends. I am a poet, an architect, nay, what is it I am not? there is nothing in nature hidden from me. Your deceased father, to whose