Messages to you that were never sent by Christina Foster (affordable ebook reader .txt) 📕

I sit here with the scissors in view and the tears in my eyes, my friends keep ringing my phone but I don't want to talk, I don't wanna even hear their voices in the speaker, I don't know what I feel anymore so I grabbed the scissors and I scratch and cut until I can't anymore, I don't know how much of this I can take any more, I sliced at my wrist until I have no more room to slice, the tears come from the cuts and the cuts on my heart that you left behind, I look to my left at my phone and see you name pop up on my screen as well as the 305 messages from my best friend, I open your text and it says "I'm sorry " I read it over and over again and I can't reply I sit here for another two minutes when another message from you comes through "haha so it's me garret im just kidding " it read your friend decided to just play with me well you an asshole. I grabbed my scissors and sliced up my other hand one two three four five six seven I keep going until you can even see my wrist anymore. blood pours from one of the cuts and dripped onto my sheet oh well ill just say I hurt my leg a while ago, I know I shouldn't do it but it's an extinct goodbye happiness ad hello sadness.it all happened so fast the hurtful words and the upset me and it didn't make any sense you over me the day before and you're feeling just sort of went away as you said they did that doesn't happen you don't just love someone so much and then just break up with them cause you lost feeling for them it doesn't work that way idiot, not one bit you always lie, you lied to your mother about us and you just told was a friend yeah i friend you had sex with alrighty and I knew your dad hated me it was obvious from the start about that one, I knew the only person who didn't hate me was, in fact, your brother and sister, you sister actually rang me yesterday t ask how I was and how much of a dickhead you were to me well haha I agree with her in that department, she told me you cried for days and that you were so upset you locked yourself in your room and that you told her you shouldn't have done it and you did it because of you mum and dad and due to them not liking me you had to break up with me which I think is absolute bullshit.

I loved you and you still love me, you just won't admit it.

I miss you

Im sorry, I sit here looking through my phone at all out the photo and wonder what through my head when I broke it off between us I am stupid very very stupid. My sister told me she talked to you still and she told me how much of an asshole I was for breaking up with you, I realise how stupid it was but I had to my mum and dad said they would ruin your family if I didn't break up with you, I didn't want to i had no choice trust me if i had it my way you would be right here in my arms tonight eating popcorn watching the notebook just because you love it and even though I hate it I loved watching it as I could see the smile on your face at the good parts and then you would cry at the sad and at the end you would fall asleep in my arms and I would sit there admiring how fucken cute you are and how much I wanted to make you mine.im so stupid I miss you in my arms. Feeling your breath against my neck and being able to kiss you whenever I want, you weren't at school today, I got so many stares and my friend was questioning me and the only person that knew the real reason was my best friend, I couldn't tell them or it would put you into danger, your best friend came up to me today as well she came up said two words "you asshole" and slapped me straight across my face my lip split. I was sent home and here I am writing this useless message that I probably won't send. Im so sorry that I didn't tell you what was going on and didn't want my money to hurt you, I told my mum and dad I would give up my money my house my everything just to be with you, but they said no they would use my money to hurt you in any way they could. I couldn't let that happen, so they made me choose to break up with you or watch them hurt you and your family. I couldn't let them do that, I just couldn't 

im sorry 

my cutting has eased, im starting to think it wasn't my fault,im still trying to figure out why.why you broke up with me why you ended up, I talked to your sister she told me nothing she said you need to tell me, tell me what do you need to tell me, what is so important that she couldn't tell me and why you can't either, will it hurt my feeling will it make me angry why wont you tell me, I cant think of one reason why she won't tell me why so once again I grab my scissors from my draw, 

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5

and I keep going, I didn't stop this time, 

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....

my wrist is so numb now, so broken, so bruised, those scars will be big I say to my self, but you won't notice no one will cause ill put my jumper on and say "im just cold" with that breathtaking smile everyone loves so much and smile the day away. 

cause no one will notice the pain in my wrist like I do, no one will notice the craving, no one but me 

Publication Date: 06-28-2017

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
there is no personal relation to this book i was just reading something online so i wrote about it, i loved writing about how a girl struggles with a break up and many boys i know struggle with it so i wanted to write about it.