My Demons by Reckless . (parable of the sower read online .txt) 📕

Oh god pls dont let my heart go cold.like i just wanna forgive and forget and move on but i cant move on and im glad you were in my life cause you taught me something.you woke me tf up you cant trust ppl you cant put your all in something because ppls feelings change like that you cant even trust the ones you sleep with -sniffles- im talking so much shit rn but i miss you and time apart is really killing me

The saddest thing is, once you fall in love theres no going back.if he ever needed anything i'd drop anything for him.my feelings are never gonna change, no matter how many times he breaks my heart i will always adore him.I just know he'd never do the same. 

The saddest thing about it all though is  to love someone, to know that they still want you but the circumstances dont let you have them. But if you really wanted each other as much as you said you did. wouldn't you atleast try to get what you wanted what you loved or were just scared the whole time ?! 

 Just feeling as if I'm not enough.. As if my best is no good As if my apologies mean nothing  As if my feelings are being taken for granted  As if I'm not needed or wanted.
-Leans on wall-
Ever just feel like a fuck up?? Ever feel so insecure you burst in to tears?? Ever just feel forgotten and replaced..?Tmw you can't sleep. I'm hurting but I'd rather keep to myself. I feel horrible and worthless But again I'd rather keep to myself. All I do is fuck up.

 My heart is breaking but there's no use crying What a cyanide surprise you have left for my eyes If I had common sense I'd cut myself or curl up and die Sticks and stones could break my bones But anything you say will only fuel my lungs Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts If this is love I don't wanna be loved You pollute the room with a filthy tongue Watch me choke it down so I can throw it up. Don't mind us we're just spilling our guts If this is love I don't wanna be hanging by the neck Before an audience of death. 

I just want them to know That I gave my all, did my best Brought someone some happiness Left this world a little better just because, I was her I'm not okay  But it's okay Don't walk away I'll take the blame  Before we're left with nothing

I see the pain in your eyes. Though you try to hide it. You smile because everyone expects it of you. After all, you are seen as the one who is always happy, is perfect, and has no problems. But what they don’t realize is that your heart is breaking. Your heart is crying out in pain. You ache for someone who understands, but there is no one there. They don’t understand what you are going through. They don’t realize how often you cry, alone with no one to comfort you. They think you are strong, but you don’t feel that way. I wish I could comfort you, but I don’t know what to say. When I look at you in the mirror I see two people: what everyone else sees and who you see. And every time your heart breaks, my heart breaks too… Because I’m you.

 Life is fragile. Life can change from something amazing to something horrifying within a matter of seconds.
You have people around you who love and care, however at the same time time you'll have people around that don't care and they will want to hurt you.
Life is something that you can easily want to give up within seconds, but you keep fighting because you know somewhere, someday you have something to live for, even if you don't know that reason or purpose yet. Life is to short, live it up to the fullest, let your dreams become your reality, don't live and regret. Some days, it's hard to get out of bed. Hard to know that you have another full 24 hours ahead of you. But... Thank you. For getting up every day, for pushing through. You will get through this. You are never alone, we are all on the same boat. Everyone has scars. Some are more visible than others, but we all have scars. You are NEVER alone in this fight, so never forget that. Thank you for being here.Life will get better soon. Don't give up.

 When he plays with your feelings
Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely. 

If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.

I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book.

 Patience i need that alot lately.it's just hard when you want something so so bad and you hae to buck down and wait your turn and understand that the person is going through almost the same shit you are. 

I don't know how to talk to you I just know I found myself getting lost with you Lately you just make me work too hard for you Got me on flights overseas, and I still can't get across to you And last night I think I lost my patience Last night, I got high as your expectations Last night, I came to a realization And I hope you can take it It feels like the only time you see me Is when you turn your head to the side and look at me differently. why do you look at me differntly?? sometimes i feel like i make people think that have to choose a cretain thing because i bug tf out of them and i just keep pursing. i've learned that i need to sit back and just let life unfold how it should be. i