Voids Fill Up Differently by Students of IACT (books for students to read txt) 📕

“Shut up! You boys are giving me a headache!” Mama screamed while rubbing her temple.

I thought Mama cared about me. At least a little bit. She saw me battered and bloodsoaked while being held against the fridge with blood dripping down against its walls. She didn’t even bat an eye. I couldn’t comprehend what just happened. They opened the fridge and shoved me inside. I tried pushing the door open but they pushed it down against the door so I couldn’t escape.

My heart pumped faster than ever although I felt dead inside. Everywhere hurt. I didn’t feel anything but pain at that moment. I was curled up and crying for help for what felt like an hour. No one was coming. I gave up. I struggled to comprehend how any of this was just.

I knew I had a rough life but I never imagined that I would ever find myself crying to sleep, alone in a fridge.

Many hours went by. I was woken up by pounding from the walls around me. I felt myself being lifted up in a pitch black box. I didn’t know if I was even alive or not. A bright light appeared before my eyes. I was expecting angels to be welcoming me to heaven. It was just Pa.

“Why are you still inside? You made everything so dirty.” grumbled Pa. I didn’t respond. I just wanted to clean myself up. I brushed passed Pa heading towards the bathroom.

“Chin Han, you better have learnt your lesson.” Pa said as he pointed towards me. I ignored him and went straight towards the bathroom.

I couldn’t recognise the person staring back at me in the mirror. I was bruised and covered in blood that had dried up overnight. My stomach felt tight and I started to breathe uncontrollably. Sweat began to drip down the sides of my head. I began to feel lightheaded. I stumbled into the shower as fast as I could and let the water run. I fell straight to the cold hard porcelain floor and started to calm down as the cold water touched my body. Flashes of the night before kept replaying in my head like a broken record. What upset me the most was remembering Mama not helping me. She was once the only shepherd for the black sheep of the family but didn’t show a single sign of compassion and empathy towards me.

What is the point of trying if everything I do always ends up backfiring in the end? If my brothers could be praised for their cruelty, why should I try to be good if it only ends in suffering. My blood was boiling. Maybe, I should just stop trying to work hard if I get punished instead of rewarded. I dried myself off and left the bathroom. I pushed the door open and I saw an all too familiar and unpleasant scene.

Pa and Mama, unconscious in our gloomy living room with their trusty bottle of booze by their side. The door was left wide open with no signs of my brothers. I immediately snapped out of my earlier thoughts. I didn’t want to end up like them. I wanted to make a name for myself and step out of my family’s hopelessness. I wanted to be a pilot. I didn’t want to be a drunkard who stays at home all day being a nuisance to society. I needed to work harder if I didn't want to end up like them.

The afternoon sun was shining. I didn’t realise how long exactly I was trapped in the fridge. I couldn’t find out because the batteries in the clock hadn’t been changed in years. My mind was set on working hard. I actually started to look at the bright side of being in this situation. It motivated me to become a better and more independent person. Also, the misery I faced at home motivated me to work more just to escape being back there. That night, I worked until half past ten. I never worked this late. I don’t think I would’ve stopped unless Aunty Fatimah told me she wanted to get ready to sleep. All my hard work was taken away from me by my own family. I didn’t want to go back home and face them yet again.

I was wandering around the neighbourhood just looking for any excuse to be away from home.

I heard a loud roaring sound coming from above. An aeroplane had just taken off. I had nowhere to go, so I decided to head towards the airport. I had never been to an airport before but I found the experience to be absolutely mesmerising. The big bright lights and the sight of the aeroplanes put a genuine smile to my face. I heard the same sound again but louder. I ran after it and found myself in front of a fence. I was on the opposite side of the runway. I looked up and saw an aeroplane fly right over my head. “Woah!” I screamed as I fell to the ground. The wind that passed by me made me feel something like never before. I began laughing to myself like a madman. I had never seen an aeroplane so close before. I couldn’t contain myself. It was genuinely the happiest I felt in such a long time.

Go to school. Study hard. Odd jobs around the neighbourhood before ending the night with a visit to the airport. This was my new daily routine. I spent more time away from home; in fact, I would only go home to shower and change my clothes. It wasn’t a problem for me. My parents wouldn’t even notice if I was gone. Sometimes, I would even fall asleep at the airport.

Two years had passed and I was nervously waiting for my SPM results. I needed a minimum of 2B’s in either Mathematics, Science or English and two credits for any other subject to get into the Malaysian Flight Academy. My dreams relied on this. I was hoping all my hard work would pay off. I was standing in line anxiously. I even ran out of fingernails to chew on.

“Next”, said Miss Cheng while waving her arms at me. She handed my slip over to me and my heart began to pound faster than ever.

“YES!” I shouted while jumping up in the air. Fellow students were staring at me as if I was crazy but I didn’t care. I sprinted out of school excitedly heading back home. I did it. I had the qualifications to enter the academy. My hard work paid off. I truly deserved this.

It was time. I could go to the academy. All I needed were my things and I’d be ready to go and leave my life here behind.

I found an old duffel bag during my frequent trips to the airport. I kept my earnings in there, but this time I found a better hiding place. There was a small opening in the roof which allowed me to hide it without raising suspicion.

My excitement died down the closer I got to home. I knew my parents would be asleep and my brothers would be out of the house but I was still nervous. The staircase seemed longer than before. Sweat was dripping down the sides of my head and my heart was beating ever so quickly. The old beaten up door to my apartment stood before me. Unlocked as usual. I saw exactly what I wanted. No sign of my brothers and my parents were asleep. I crept into my room, trying to remain as silent as possible. I packed all my clothes in an old suitcase that I found at the airport a year before. I was about to leave but I wanted to take one last look at my room. There weren’t many good memories here. The blood stains from that night were still visible on the floor.

My hand was on the doorknob. I was ready to venture off into a new chapter of life but then, I heard the sound of a bottle crashing to the ground. Pa lost grip of his bottle while sleeping and it woke him up. I was not prepared for this, I was praying internally, hoping that my dad would not notice me there. My prayers weren’t answered.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I thought since this was potentially last time that I would see him, I could just run and not think about it. I grabbed the doorknob and before I could turn it, a sharp broken piece of glass pierced through my hand. I screamed in agony and fell to the ground holding my hand.

Pa took my bag. “Not again,” I thought to myself. “It’s been two years and you still haven’t learnt anything.” said Pa furiously. Pa took my bag into the kitchen with him. Last time, he took close to a thousand ringgit. This time it was much more and I couldn’t afford to lose it again. I removed the piece of glass from my palm. I ran towards him and stabbed in his right shoulder. I heard him whimper. He was in pain but he was more angry than he was in pain. He turned around and smacked me in the face as hard as he could and it sent me straight to the ground.

Pa was bigger, stronger and smarter at fighting than I was. I couldn’t win a fight of brauns with him. He picked me up while hooking his arm around my neck and began to strangle me. “You need to learn your lesson once and for all!” screamed Pa while removing the shard of glass from his shoulder with his free hand. “I showed you mercy before but not this time. You are going to die for your own selfishness. You did this to yourself! I should’ve left you in the fridge all those years and left your body to rot” said Pa furiously.

He was trying to shove me back inside but I was fighting harder this time. I managed to outmaneuver him. This was my chance. I pushed his back towards the fridge, and quickly pulled it down. The fridge came crashing straight onto Pa’s knees. He screamed at the top of his lungs. It was too heavy for him to lift without his lower body.

“Please, Chin Han. Don’t leave me alone like this.”

“Why should I help you when you wouldn’t do the same for me”

“Chin Han, I’m your father! Drop the bag and come over here now!”

“None of you ever treated me with respect. If I do help you, all your going to do is punish me and steal my money. I’m going to be better than all of you and raise a family properly in the future. Thank you for teaching me how NOT to raise a family”

“You better come back here you stupid boy! I am your father and you will obey me!”

“You’re not my father and I am no longer your son.”