I Spy With My Little Heart by Kiki XoXo (pdf e book reader TXT) 📕

"Don't touch me." I breath. "I mean it. Stay away from me." I turn away, and head down the hall slowly. If I run I might run back to him. I go back to my room, turning on the light and see Crash sitting at my desk. I pull my shirt off, it's filled with food and at this point I don't exactly care that he is in here. 

"I heard some of what went down between you and Smith." He tests the waters. 

"Not now." I say, searching through my dresser for a shirt. 

"You realize you're going to see him. He is your manager." He replies. I close the drawer and lean against it feeling the tears finally now coming out.  "Come here." He sighs. To my surprise as well as his, I run over to him squeezing as tightly as I can. "What happened Bunny?" He whispers holding me. For once he is actually being the good guy. 

"I just... I wish I didn't feel this way about him." I sigh. "I'm sorry... I really shouldn't be dumping this on you." 

"Hey I came here on my own. I knew something was up. I'm just making sure you're okay. You've been through a lot the past couple months." 

"Thank you." I say a couple minute later. My crying as stopped and I feel kind of slightly better. "For this place not being a high school there sure seems to be a lot of drama." I rub my eyes. "Really.. though. Thank you Crash." I look up at him. 

"No problem." He is looking down at me. He is so tall. Maybe even two feet taller than me! "Are you sure you are o-"

I had to cut him off. I don't want to talk about it. 

I want to get even. 

We're kissing. First time for everything. I'm on the tip of my toes, pulling him down towards me. I never thought I kiss Crash. Espicially under these circumstances. Well actually these circumstances are what got us to this point. He doesn't seem yo quite understand what is happening, and frankly neither do I.  He catches on eventually and his hands go from my waist to my thighs, and he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, running my hands through his hair. 

He walks with ease and I fall feeling my back against my bed. I move my hands down from his hair to his neck to his chest to his stomach to the hem of his shirt. Slowly moving my hands under his shirt feeling his sculpted muscle. I've admitted it before that he is built very well. Good looking and all. But the personallity is what gets me. I'm not sure where all this kindness he is showing is coming from but I'm not going to complain. Unless he is doing it so I'll do this? What exactly am I doing? How far is this going to go?

I'm having fun. I'm forgetting Luke. Isn't that all that matters?

He pulls his head first, and I pause wondering if he is going to say something. It's quiet at first, both of us just looking at each other. A little smile starts to appear on his lips. 

"What?" I ask. This is somewhat killing the mood. 

"You're just using me." He smirks now, "To get back at Smith?" 

"Maybe." I run my hands across his abdomine. "Does that bother you?" I ask, pulling his shirt up. He sits up and pulls off his shirt. 

"Nope. Use me all you want." He ducks his head kissing my neck, and moving closer to me. He was holding himself up before but now we are body to body. Both of us gain a grinding motion against each other, getting a little hot and bothered now. "I just want you to know." He pulls up, "You can tell me to stop when ever."  He is serious. 

"Killing the mood a little here." I sigh, with a smile. For some reason this Crash is different. Maybe it's just because I'm giving him a little action. "Crash, I really don't want to go all the way." I admit. "I don't want to stop though either."

"Then we wont." he kisses me again, and we go right back to making out like the isn't anything going on around us. The longer we go the more steamy it seems to get for both of us. I've got to admit he knows what he is doing. More than likely because he spends a lot of his time doing this. Our bodies move together, getting more and more intense. My body is actually getting slightly excited, and I wonder if I shouldn't just go all the way. It's not like it matters anymore. I wonder how many girls Luke has been with this entire time. A moan slips through after I lose focus and think about Luke.  It doesn't seem to phase him, and we just continue making my bed a mess. 

"We should stop." He moves from my lips to my neck. "It's starting to get to me."  he says between kisses.  I know what he means, I can feel it. My face flushes feeling him against me. He doesn't stop though, he doesn't and neither do I. 

"Crash..." I hesitate. He gets back up on his elbows removing his body from mine. He keeps his lips on me. "I'm not ready.. .. I .. I  I'm sorry." 

"I need your bathroom." He whispers. 

"Yeah... of course." I say, with a quiet laugh. He is up and in the bathroom in two seconds. I sit up, getting my breath under control. I run to my dresser and throw on a shirt. I look around seeing it is pretty clean just some clothes on the floor. I run a hand through my own hair wondering how long he is going to take in there. I'll admit I'm curious but not curious enough. I don't hear anything either. Although I'm guessing that this is something he does often as well. I get up picking up his shirt, just as my toilet flushes and I hear the sink running. I shake it out to get rid of wrinkles, and then he pops out of the door. 

"Here." I hand him his shirt. He takes it and shoves it back on. "I ah.. I don't know what to say." I admit feeling my cheeks heat a little. 

"Don't say anything. This was fun." He smiles. "Any time Bunny, I'm here for you." He kisses my cheek, and says good night. I watch him as he leaves, and I shake away any thoughts of pulling him back in here and finishing what we started. I hope no one else was out there and saw him leave. I go into my bathroom, and I take apeak around making sure there isn't any sign of maleness in here. Nothing. He cleaned up. I turn on my shower, and take a good hour long one cleaning up and catching my breath and thinking about what I just did.

Well shit.

Blaire's POV

The cafeteria is busy again. I kind of slept in this morning. I was tired after my shower last night. I know why too. I go through line grabbing yoghurt, eggs, and a scoop of streawberries.  I sit down at the table I usually sit at with Luke and the girls. None of them are in here though. I decide to eat quickly just in case of any them to come inside. 

"So." Crash slides into the seat across from me. "I was thinking."

"Oh boy." I look down at my tray, wondering what this is about. 

"We should hang out more often." He wiggles his eye brows, and I roll my eyes. Of course. "Hey hear me out. I'm guessing you feel a little better then you did yesterday. You got out some frustration and anger... see this is like a win win situation." 

"Except you don't win anything... well unless hanging out by yourself in my bathroom for 5 minutes is fun for you."  I remind him. 

"Still worth it." He chuckles. "Think about it." He gets up, and walks away. I shake my head. He is unbelievable. I notice though as he leaves Luke comes in. Time to go. I take one more bite of my eggs, and rush away from the table and his site. I go to the training center, going to the firing range. I close the door and load up my gun and I set the level I want the targets to be at. After getting through a couple of magazines, I decide to move on. I head out and walk over to put the gun away. I open the door and put everything away correctly and clean everything the way I was taught. Leaving the gun room, I glance around. It's louder in here today. More people obviously. As my eyes wonder they land on Luke. He is with Natalie and Tessa now. They seem to be just fine. I'm a little surprised that Luke hasn't tried talking to me, but yet he is probably giving me space which I also appreciate. Just how much and for how long? Am I still mad at him now that I techinically got back at him?

My eyes must be desieving me. That Britt girl just walked over to them. I wish I could hear them. I can't so I just stand and watch as she pulls him to the side. They're standing close enough. She is smiling and being all flirty. But I can't see Luke he facing the opposite way. It irritates me. She touches his hand, and he doesn't seem to pull away or mind. I blink rubbing my eyes. I don't care! I look away. I am such an idiot. 

"If it helps any, I don't think he actually likes her." Crash appears by my side. 

"Are you just watching me now?" I ask looking up at him. 

"No. But I just happened to see those two and I knew you would be watching them so I came to find you." He watches them with me now. "Yeah, I think he is just using her because you two are fighting."

"We weren't doing anything. I've done more with you than I have him." I admit. "I don't know I don't care either." 

"I think you do. Hey just stop by my room later. We can talk."

"And do a something else... I don't think so." I sigh. "One time thing bud." 

"Awww Bunny."  he now looks at me. I could just push you into the room behind us and have my way with you." 

"But you wont." I walk away with that not wanting to see anymore. I head to the tech lab and work on hacking. He must really be full of himself to believe that I would want to do that again. Not that I didn't like it or have fun but I'm kind of but not really starting to regret it. I don't know what to do anymore.  I hate this entire thing. I'm used to having Luke to talk to! Now he is the one person I'm trying to avoid. I lean back in the chair, wishing I had other things