American library books Β» Esotericism Β» The Castrator by Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov (short books for teens txt) πŸ“•

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I WAS NOT AT THE ORPHANAGE.

THE REGIME IN THE ORPHANAGE WAS EXTREMELY STRICT AND NO ONE COULD COME IN OR OUT WHENEVER THEY WANTED, AND A SPECIAL PERSON WAS IN CHARGE. I REMEMBERED ONE CASE OF A VIOLATION OF THIS RULE WHERE THE CULPRIT WAS DIRECTLY ASSIGNED TO AN INSTITUTION FOR BEHAVIOR CORRECTION.

I RECALL PUNISHMENTS AND EVEN SOME BRUTAL CASES OF STAFF VIOLENCE. TO THEM WE WERE NOBODIES! TALKING AND WANTING TO LIVE!

FELISTER GOT ME OUT OF THERE, BUT GAVE ME THE CHANCE TO SURVIVE IN A BIGGER HELL HE CONTROLLED - A HELL HE FELT AT HOME IN.

WHERE EXACTLY WAS HELL AND DID IT REALLY REPRESENT A PLACE OF ETERNAL TORMENT? WAS THERE ANY POINT IN LIVING AT ALL? WAS THERE ANY POINT IN DEVELOPING OUR SOUL?

THE DAYS IN THE BOARDING SCHOOL PASSED RATHER UNEVENTFULLY. THE STAFF WERE WELL TRAINED TO TELL US THAT SOONER OR LATER EVERYONE WOULD GET THEIR CHANCE IN LIFE AND THAT WE WERE INDEED WANTED, AS WE REPRESENTED THE FUTURE OF THIS COUNTRY AFTER ALL. EVEN THE SIMPLE STATISTICS PROVED IT - THIS WAS NOT AN ALTRUISTIC ACT AT ALL, BUT A BUSINESS WORTH BILLIONS.

SCRIPTURE SAID SOMETHING INTERESTING ABOUT THIS, NAMELY THAT THERE WAS NEITHER WORK NOR THOUGHT NOR KNOWLEDGE NOR WISDOM IN THE GRAVE[1]. MEMORIES SENT ME AGAIN DOWN THE DARK CORRIDORS OF THAT HELL. THE BUILDING WAS NOT LARGE, BUT THE CHILDREN THERE, AND THE STAFF WERE DISGUSTING. THAT EMBODIMENT OF THE AMERICAN DREAM WAS EASILY SEEN TO BE NOT WHAT IT WAS SAID TO BE!

ONE NIGHT MILES CAME HOME TO ME, EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS A BAN ON UNNECESSARY COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE VARIOUS ADOPTION SITES - AS THEY CALLED US, IT WAS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. I DON'T KNOW HOW THE BOARDING SCHOOL STAFF HADN'T SENSED HIM AS HE CREPT STEALTHILY THROUGH THE CORRIDORS.

- LOOK, ELIZANDER CAN'T SLEEP AND I'M THINKING ABOUT SOME SHIT. IF THEY DON'T REALLY WANT US, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO ADOPT US FOR? I MEAN, WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM? THE STREET HAS TAUGHT ME THAT NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS DONE FOR NOTHING!

I TURNED BARELY PERCEPTIBLY, PROPPED UP ON ONE ELBOW, AND OUR EYES MET IN THE HEAVY DARKNESS OF THE QUIET ROOM:

- DON'T YOU REALLY WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE. JUST FOLLOW THE DAMN RULES AND PLAY THEIR GAME TO THE END!

BY THE TIME I TURNED TO GO TO SLEEP, HE WAS JUST GONE - SO SILENTLY THAT I HADN'T EVEN NOTICED HIM, BUT HIS WORDS GOT ME THINKING.

NEVERTHELESS, THE WAVE OF DISCONTENT COULDN'T PASS ALL THE TORMENTED CREATURES WHO HAD NOWHERE TO GO! MANY OF THEM DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR PARENTS! AND ONE DAY MILES JOSEPH JUST BEAT ONE OF THEM TO DEATH. USED A BOARD PULLED OUT OF HIS COT - WE WEREN'T IN A PRISON, BUT WHAT I COULD CLEARLY SEE WAS THE UNHEARD OF BRAINS THE FEMALE OFFICER HAD DISPLAYED.

THERE HAD BEEN A TRIAL AND THEY HAD FOUND THIS SAME MILES GUILTY OF FIRST DEGREE MURDER WITH INTENT TO CAUSE THE DEATH OF THE VICTIM IN A PARTICULARLY PAINFUL MANNER - USUALLY THE SENTENCE WAS LIFE, BUT GIVEN HIS LACK OF PRIOR MISDEMEANORS AND HIS TENDER AGE, THE JUDGE WAS VERY RELUCTANT TO GIVE HIM ONE LAST CHANCE - EITHER GO TO ONE OF THE YOUTH OFFENDER CORRECTIONAL CENTRES OR SERVE HIS SENTENCE IN AN ADULT PRISON, BUT THERE HE WAS LOOKING AT BETWEEN TWENTY AND FORTY YEARS DEPENDING ON HIS BEHAVIOUR - HE WOULD PROBABLY SERVE AT LEAST TWENTY-FIVE THOUGH, MAYBE MORE.

MILES ACCEPTED THE DECISION THAT DOOMED HIM TO CERTAIN DOOM WITHOUT QUESTION, AND CHANGED HIS LIFE BEYOND RECOGNITION, BUT HE STILL OPTED FOR THE CORRECTIONAL CENTRE - IT WAS TOUGH THERE TOO, BUT AT LEAST HE HAD A CHANCE OF SURVIVING WITHOUT THE AGGRESSION OF THE OLDER INMATES WHO WOULD INEVITABLY TAUNT HIM, AND THE CHANCE OF BEING KILLED SOONER OR LATER WAS ALSO SIGNIFICANT.

AT THE TIME I WAS TEXTING WITH A GIRL FROM THE ST. MARY SHELTER IN SAN FRANCISCO. SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE. WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO USE A COMPUTER OR TABLET, SO I RAN AND DROPPED THE OLD FASHIONED LETTER. BUT A LITTLE LATER I SENSED IN OUR CORRESPONDENCE WITH EACH OTHER THAT SHE WAS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE - JUST TRYING TO GET OUT AND SAVE HERSELF! A LOST SOUL IN A SEA OF HUMAN EMOTIONS! ONCE SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT SHE DREAMED SOMEONE WOULD COME AND GET HER. AND SUCH A FAMILY APPEARED. THEY WERE SOME BIG INDUSTRIALISTS FROM NEW ORLEANS. IN HER LAST LETTER TO ME, SHE HAD WRITTEN THE FOLLOWING:

 "DEAR ELIZANDER, THIS WORLD IS FULL OF FALSEHOOD AND LIES, OF LACK OF LOVE AND MANY HUMAN FAILINGS. PERHAPS WE SHALL ALL ROT IN HELL ONE DAY. BUT WE HAVE TO FORGIVE PEOPLE - NOT OUT OF LOVE, BUT BECAUSE WE JUST HAVE TO GO OUR OWN WAY LIKE THE WORMS IN THE TREE - EACH ACCORDING TO HIS STRENGTH. I HOPE YOU GET SAVED! YOUR JENNY MAGOOD"

LATER, HOWEVER, I REALIZED THAT IN THE MOST UN-AMERICAN OF CITIES, WHERE FRENCH, SPANISH, CREOLE, AND SOUTHERN ARCHITECTURAL STYLES AND CULTURES MINGLED, SHE HAD SIMPLY BECOME THE KEEPER OF A BROTHEL OF SOME SORT.

MY ACQUAINTANCE WITH HER PROVIDED ME WITH A SATISFYING AMOUNT OF CUSTOMERS WHO ENJOYED THE GOODS OF FELISTER'S FARM WHILE SATISFYING THEIR NEEDS.

ON THE WHOLE, SOUTHERN CONSERVATISM WORKED ONLY TO OUR ADVANTAGE. AND WE WERE PROFITING TOO WELL FROM IT!

AND THEN THE ADOPTION BY FELISTER CAME TO ME LIKE A WHISTLE! I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!

HE DID HIS BEST TO TRIGGER THE PROCEDURE TO GET MILES OUT TOO, BUT HE DIDN'T ADOPT HIM. HE NEEDED ONE SON - TWO WAS TOO MANY. FATE WAS A REAL SELFISH AND SELFISH BITCH! BUT MILES WAS HAPPY WITH THAT TOO - IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM AT THAT POINT!

MILES WAS ASSIGNED TO MIX FENTANYL WITH A FIRST-RATE OPIATE THAT MADE HIM LOOK LIKE A TICKING TIME BOMB. AND HE NEVER TOUCHED THE STUFF. HE WAS VERY ACCURATE. A GREAT COOK! NOT EVEN ONE OF THOSE IVY LEAGUE[2] YUPPIES COULD HAVE HANDLED HIS WORK WITH SUCH RESPECT AND PRECISION-IT WAS LIKE A LIVING DEVIL STIRRING HIS VAT OF MAGIC POTIONS.

BY THE WAY, FELISTER HAD AN INTERESTING ATTITUDE TOWARDS ALL THE SYNTHETICS COMING IN FROM CHINA TOO. THE NAMES OF THE PRODUCTS WERE STRANGE, BUT FELISTER WAS NOT NARROW-MINDED. THE SO-CALLED SYNTHETIC CANNOBOIDS WERE THE FUTURE.

THE PROBLEM WITH CANNABOIDS WAS THAT, UNLIKE MORPHINE AND FENTANYL, THEY COULD NOT BE JUSTIFIED FOR MEDICAL USE IN ANY WAY, AND THIS COULD HAVE CAUSED FELISTER MORE PROBLEMS WITH THE AUTHORITIES. AND HAVING TO BRIBE INCREASINGLY INFLUENTIAL CONGRESSMEN AND SENATORS. SOMETHING HE SUBSEQUENTLY DID WITH GREAT SUBTLETY.

MILES DIED THAT NIGHT, AND HE WAS A GREAT FRIEND AND A CONSCIENTIOUS DUDE. HE SAID SOMETHING TO ME I'LL NEVER FORGET:

- AT THE END OF THE ROAD, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN! REMEMBER HIM! BUT THE TRUTH IS, ROUGHLY SPEAKING, YOU WERE ALWAYS COMPLETELY ALONE. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THOUGHT OR FELT THE WHOLE TIME. BUT FELISTER WAS LIKE A FATHER TO ME - EVEN A FAKE ONE, HE GOT ME OUT OF THAT HOLE. OUT OF THAT CURSED AND HOPELESS CYCLE!

TWO WEEKS LATER WAS DETECTIVE DONOVAN'S FAMOUS POLICE RAID. AND IT WAS ALL OVER FOR HIM ON THAT PORCH ON THAT WARM MAY EVENING. HE WAS ALSO ONE OF THE MEN STANDING CLOSEST TO FELISTER AND DEFENDING HIM TO THE LAST DROP OF BLOOD.

PEACE BE WITH YOU, MILES! MAY YOU FIND PEACE! AND MAY YOU HAVE AT LEAST ONE ANGEL FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE TO ACCOMPANY YOUR SOUL AT LEAST A LITTLE WAY. I HAD HEARD THAT THE SOUL WAITED IN A SPECIAL SECLUDED ROOM UNTIL ITS TIME CAME, AND THENCE BY A SPECIAL CORRIDOR IT WENT TO THE HALL WHERE IT WAS TO HEAR ITS SENTENCE, AND THEN RECEIVE ITS DUE DISTRIBUTION.

 

[1] The quotation in question is from (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

[2] A group of universities and colleges that are renowned as the most prestigious in the United States.

THE DISCOVERY

CHAPTER TWENTY: THE DISCOVERY

 

ONLY A HANDFUL OF EARTH COULD BE FOUND IN THE DISINTERRED COFFIN, MOST PROBABLY THROWN BY THE CARELESS HAND OF GUS BENZOUR.

- "FINGER MAGIC IS CRUEL," ARLO ADDED, AND I FELT HIS ANGELIC AURA. 'BUT THIS DEED IS CONTRARY TO THE CREATOR.

- "THEN THE MANTRIC ..." I BEGAN, BUT I CAUGHT SIGHT OF THE BODY OF BENZOUR.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT HAD FALLEN IN SUCH A WAY IN A CORNER UNDER SOME BUSHES THAT EVEN THOSE PASSING BY WOULD NOT HAVE NOTICED IT. HAD DIED THE NIGHT BEFORE WHEN HE HAD CARRIED OUT HIS ATTACK ON ME.

APPARENTLY, THE MANTRIC HAD SIMULTANEOUSLY PERFORMED THE MAGIC RITUAL AND CARRIED OUT HIS PSYCHOATTACK - SO AT LEAST ONE WAY TO SUCCEED IN STRIKING ME. WELL, GAS BENZOUR, OR WHOEVER YOU ARE - WITH YOUR STONES ON YOUR HEAD.

THE GRIMOIRE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM - NO ONE HAD TOUCHED IT. I LOOKED QUESTIONINGLY AT MY COMPANIONS-NONE OF THEM OBJECTED TO MY TAKING IT. BUT I STILL WONDERED IF IT WAS RIGHT TO LEAVE THE BENZOUR RIGHT HERE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN STRANGE.

THEN THE ROCKERS WHO WERE WITH US MADE A SUGGESTION - WE'D INVESTIGATE THE GAS BENZOUR, SNEAKING IT OUT UNNOTICED SO WE COULD SEARCH IT - THE NIGHT CEMETERY GUARDS MIGHT ALSO SWOOP IN AND SURPRISE US. WE AGREED AND BEGAN OUR PREPARATIONS. I HAD TAKEN A SPECIAL PIECE OF CLOTH, WHICH WAS PROTECTED BY A SPELL, FOR READING BY AN ALIEN MIND. I WRAPPED THE GRIMOIRE CAREFULLY AND WE SLIPPED OUT.

MAYBE GUS BENZOUR WAS LAUGHING AT ME FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE! MAYBE IT WAS HELPING ME SINK DEEPER, EVEN THOUGH I WAS DOOMED TO NO END!

I REMEMBERED DURAITH'S EYES AS HE DIED, SHORTLY AFTER HE KILLED ELLER - THEY WERE SOMEHOW EMPTY AND CALLING FOR UNDERSTANDING. HE JUST CLEARLY HADN'T SEEN A WAY OUT TO DO OTHERWISE.

SLOWLY AND SURELY, GUS BENZOUR HAD CREATED A COVER FOR HIMSELF, BUT IN THE END HE HAD FALLEN VICTIM TO HIS OWN MACHINATIONS. OR PERHAPS THAT WAS PART OF HIS PLAN? FOR A MAN LIKE HIM YOU NEVER KNEW!

PART OF THE ROCKER GANG LEFT TO RAM HIS HOUSE, WHICH WAS IN COLORADO - AND IN PARTICULAR IN THE LITTLE TOWN OF YAMPA - A SMALL TOWN NEAR OAK CREEK - THIS PLACE WAS LIKE GODFORSAKEN. THERE THEY LINGERED FOR MORE THAN A WEEK, AND DURING THAT TIME WE SETTLED DOWN WITH THE OTHERS IN BIG BAY TOWN PARK. THE SCENERY HERE WAS SPECTACULAR AND QUITE WILD - AT LEAST TO THE UNDERSTANDING OF THE AVERAGE METROPOLITAN DWELLER. HONESTLY, I DIDN'T TRUST THEM TO RETURN, SO THE OTHERS AND I STARTED EXPLORING THE SECRETS OF THE GAS. WHEN THEY DID ARRIVE, WHAT WE HEARD MADE MY HAIR STAND ON END.

- 'FUCK HIM, GUS BENZOUR,' BEGAN REGINALD GROVE, A BURLY MAN WHOSE BODY WAS COVERED IN TATTOOS SUCH AS A PHOENIX, SYMBOL OF ASCENSION, AND A BLUEBIRD, SYMBOL OF ETERNAL HAPPINESS, BOTH OF WHICH WERE DONE WITH GREAT SKILL, 'AS IF HE HAD NEVER EXISTED ANYWHERE AT ALL.

- "IMPOSSIBLE," I MARVELLED, 'HOW ...

ZONARA AND ARLO STOOD SILENT, AND THEIR EYES, THOUGH STRANGE, LOOKED AT ME WITH SOME PARTICULAR CURIOSITY - PERHAPS MY SENSES WERE

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