The Castrator by Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov, Atanas Marinov (short books for teens txt) 📕

BECOMING CONFUSED TOO, AND I WAS PERCEIVING REALITY DISTORTEDLY, OR PERHAPS IT HAD NOT EXISTED FOR A LONG TIME.

I KNEW THAT THOSE WHO WERE ABOUT TO DIE, OR SINCERELY WISHED TO DO SO, WERE ALLOWED TO SEE THEIR GHOST-DOUBLE, WHICH ENABLED THEM TO BE AWARE OF WHAT LAY AHEAD IN THE AFTERLIFE.

- "WE QUESTIONED MOST CAREFULLY. NO ONE COULD TELL US ANYTHING," REGINALD WENT ON, HIS MASSIVE BODY CRACKLING WITH STRENGTH, FOR HE MUST HAVE BEEN BARELY PAST FIFTY. "DAMN, IT WILL BE INTERESTING TO FIND OUT THAT THE FARM THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY IN HIS NAME…"

I COULD CLEARLY FEEL MYSELF STARTING TO SWEAT. IF GUS WAS PART OF THE FELISTER’S LEGACY, OR MANTRIC, OR ... MAYBE HE WAS THE DEVIL HIMSELF!

- "AND HIS WIFE?," I HINTED LIGHTLY, "HADN'T HE ENTRUSTED HER WITH THE FARMING WORK WHILE HE SUPPLIED THE RESERVE WITH PROVISIONS? HADN'T HE HIRED A HUGE NUMBER OF WORKERS TO DEAL WITH THE GROWING NEED TO HARVEST THE PRODUCE?"

- "ACTUALLY," ERALD MONSER INTERRUPTED, "YAMPA IS MORE OF A SMALL UNINCORPORATED COMMUNITY, AND THE LOCALS DON'T LIKE TO TALK MUCH TO OUTSIDERS, BUT STILL ..."

- "THEN WHOSE BODY IS THIS?," I WAS AMAZED, BUT LITTLE BY LITTLE I BEGAN TO COME TO MYSELF.

"THERE IS LIFE IN CORN..." HE HAD SAID WHEN HE PICKED US UP ALMOST AT THE BEGINNING OF OUR JOURNEY, "AND WE CRUSH IT WITH OUR FEET..."

EVEN THEN I HAD NOTICED THE STRANGE SMELL AND ... THE PECULIAR AURA - IT WAS BY NO MEANS UNPLEASANT, BUT SOMEHOW IT AFFECTED THE MIND. GUS, HOWEVER, HAD GIVEN HIMSELF THE IMPRESSION THAT EVERYTHING WAS FINE - APPARENTLY HE REALLY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING, AND THAT WAS HOW HE'D GOTTEN THROUGH LIFE TO THIS VENERABLE AGE. ONE IMPORTANT DETAIL, HOWEVER, MADE A HUGE IMPRESSION ON ME - HE HAD MENTIONED THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAD TAKEN THE MOST FERTILE LAND FROM THE INDIANS, BUT AT THE SAME TIME THE INDIAN TRIBES HAD TO MOVE EVERY FIVE OR TEN YEARS BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED THAT OVERUSING THE SOIL WOULD DESTROY IT.

BUT, NOW I ASSUMED THAT THE CAUSE WAS A LIVING DEMON-MANTRIC THAT SOMEHOW... BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT MY REASONING WAS CHILDISH... NOT THAT IT WAS COMPLETELY WITHOUT MERIT...

DEMONS WEREN'T ABLE TO TAKE HUMAN FORM DIRECTLY - THEY COULD POSSESS, BUT THEY COULD ENTER PIGS - AND THERE WERE PLENTY OF PIGS ON FELISTER'S FARM. WAS IT POSSIBLE THAT GUS BENZOUR HAD VISITED FELISTER'S FARM WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE? OR TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY, IN SOME FORM THE DEMON HAD TRANSFERRED ITSELF FROM THE PIG TO GUS BENZOUR. THE IDEA SOUNDED EXTRAVAGANT, BUT DEMONS HAD A HABIT OF JUMPING FROM PERSON TO PERSON OR ...

- "APPARENTLY, THE GUS BENZOUR HAS FAILED TO KEEP ITS SPIRITUAL HOUSE[1] CLEAN," I SAID, THOUGH THE HIDDEN JOKE WAS DAMN FRIGHTENING EVEN IF ONE ONLY TOOK ITS HIDDEN MEANING SERIOUSLY.

I THINK ZONARA AND ARLO UNDERSTOOD ME WELL AND SENSED THE HIDDEN MEANING.

BUT ACCORDING TO THE TEACHINGS OF DON JUAN CASTANEDA, A BRUJO'S SUPREME MAGICAL MASTERY, AS HE CALLED IT, WAS NOT MEASURED BY THE USE OF VARIOUS OBJECTS, SINCE THEY WERE NOT THE SOURCE OF REAL POWER, BUT BY FINDING A POWERFUL PATRON[2] - A REALLY POWERFUL ONE. WAS IT POSSIBLE THAT FELISTER HAD USED THE PIGS AS EXPERIMENTAL MICE FOR THE DEMONS TO POSSESS, SINCE THEY OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T HAVE THE SPIRITUAL RESISTING POWER OF HUMANS EITHER, AND SUBSEQUENTLY THE CUNNING MR. EMBANKS HAD TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF THE NAIVETY OF SOMEONE LIKE GUS BENZOUR. THIS THEORY SEEMED MORE PLAUSIBLE, BUT AGAIN THERE WERE SOME WEAKNESSES - THE MAIN ONE BEING THAT AS FAR AS I KNEW GUS DIDN'T SEEM LIKE A FOOL, AND ON THE OTHER HAND THE ROCKERS CLAIMED HE DIDN'T EXIST AT ALL - OR AT LEAST THAT WAS THE INFORMATION THEY HAD GOT FROM THE LOCALS. THINGS WERE SOUNDING MORE AND MORE CONFUSED, BUT PERHAPS THEY COULD HAVE BEEN EXPLAINED DIFFERENTLY.

- "AND WHAT IF FELISTER WAS SO ADVANCED IN HIS SEARCH THAT HE HAD DEVELOPED SPECIFIC ISOLATION TECHNIQUES THAT GAVE HIM SOME FORM OF RELIEF OR CONTROL?," I MURMURED QUIETLY. "THERE, BURIED DEEP DOWN THERE, WAS HIS SECRET, HIS SADNESS STEMMED FROM HIS INABILITY TO COPE WITH HIS ALLY, AND HE HAD CLEARLY TRIED SOMETHING EXTREMELY RISKY, WHICH MAY WELL BE HIS TRUE LEGACY... AND, IT COULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF OTHER CONSEQUENCES STEMMING FROM HIS TOO FOCUSED AND DANGEROUS ACTIONS."

EVEN THE ROCKERS - HARD AND RUTHLESS MEN WITHOUT SOULS - LOOKED AT ME AS THOUGHTFULLY AS IF THEY WERE READING THE THOUGHTS BENEATH MY OWN SKULL. AND NO ONE DARED TO CONTRADICT ME. NO ONE CALLED OUT, AND THE FIRE QUIETLY EMPTIED, AS IF TO REMIND US THAT WE WERE NOT ALONE - AND NEVER WOULD BE, THAT WE WERE ETERNALLY WATCHED AND JUDGED, AS ANGELS AND DEMONS ALIKE HAD THEIR OWN CRITERIA, BUT IN THE END WE WERE THE VICTIMS.

- "I BELIEVE THAT FELISTER AS A POSSIBILITY HAS LONG SINCE GONE BEYOND THE STAGE OF CONSCIOUS DREAMING, WHICH ENABLES US TO BECOME AWARE OF THE PRINCIPLE OF REALITY MANAGEMENT, AND TO DEAL WITH THE DEMON HAS RESORTED TO A SPECIFIC RITUAL OR TACTIC THAT MAY HAVE COST HIM HIS LIFE," I CONTINUED.

- "MAKE YOURSELF CLEAR," CALLED REGINALD, WHO LOOKED AS INTRIGUED AS A MEMBER OF THE HELLS ANGELS, "YES, THIS GANG OF GANGSTERS WERE JUST ABOUT TAKEN TO REPRESENT THAT KIND OF POWER."

- WELL, JUST AS IT WAS A CHALLENGE FOR A HANDICAPPED MAN TO HOLD HIS OWN SPOON WHILE EATING, SO IT WAS A MATTER OF HONOR AND SURVIVAL FOR A FELISTER TO ...

SUDDENLY THE WIND INTERRUPTED MY WORDS. HE SQUIRMED SUDDENLY AND BRIEFLY. PERHAPS IT WAS ACCIDENTAL, PERHAPS NOT! MAYBE IT WAS COMING FROM THE WATER TOO! YES, ONE COULD NEVER BE SURE!

- AWARENESS ON YOUR WAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. NO NEED TO TALK - JUST ACT. THAT'S HOW THINGS WILL HAPPEN FULLY.

ARLO HAD A FACE HALF-OBSCURED BY THE FIRELIGHT - AND FRANKLY LOOKED MORE LIKE A DEMON THAN AN ANGEL, BUT I HAD LEARNED LONG AGO NOT TO TRUST THINGS - NOTHING WAS AS IT SEEMED.

REGINALD WAS A REAL MAN'S MAN, AND HE AND DON SAULER AND CONNIE BRAITH HAD DECIDED TO STAY AND HELP US IN THIS WILDERNESS BECAUSE THEY HAD GIVEN THEIR WORD. YES, AND THE ROCKER WORD MEANT A LOT! EVEN A BANDIT HAD TO HAVE A WORD AND KEEP IT...

I DECIDED TO EXPLAIN TO THEM DEFINITIVELY WHAT I THOUGHT FELISTER'S WHOLE TACTIC HAD BEEN, SINCE HE OBVIOUSLY HADN'T HAD ENOUGH TIME TO WORK THINGS OUT FULLY, OR MAYBE HE HAD JUST DONE IT DELIBERATELY - NO MATTER WHAT HAD MADE HIM DO IT - ONE THING WAS ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN. FELISTER HAD REALLY WANTED TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING THAT WOULD STAY AND BE REMEMBERED.

- "THE FLOW OF ENERGY IN THE UNIVERSE IS QUITE STRANGE," I DECIDED TO EXPLAIN MY POINT DEFINITIVELY, "IF FELISTER REALLY WANTED TO GET RID OF THE DEMON AND CHANNEL IT TO THE OTHERS, HE HAD TO RESORT TO AN EXTERNAL INTERVENTION - LIKE AN EXORCISM OR SOME OTHER METHOD, AND HE HAD QUITE DIFFERENT INTENTIONS. WHILE DREAMING WE HAVE THE FEELING THAT ..."

FELISTER DREAMED CONSCIOUSLY AND MADE THE DEMON PEEP INTO HIS DREAMS IN A WAY THAT HE HIMSELF DESIRED, AND THIS ULTIMATELY PROVED DECISIVE.

- I MEAN, HE DIDN'T JUST WANT TO GET THE DEMON TO JUMP OFF HIM AND LEAVE HIM, HE WANTED TO TRICK HIM INTO FURTHER SEARCHES," ASKED CONNIE BRIGHT, WHO WAS A BIT MORE INTELLIGENT AND HAD BY SOME CHANCE MANAGED TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL, WHICH WAS A RARITY AMONG MEMBERS OF ROCKER GANGS.

- "BUT WHAT WAS THE USE OF IT TO HIMSELF?," CALLED BACK DON SALTER. "SO HE WAS DOOMED TO PERISH! DOOMED TO DISAPPEAR FOREVER. BASS I HOLD EVEN THAT NO ONE REMEMBERS HIM EXCEPT THAT HIS NAME APPEARS IN SOME POLICE REPORTS OF THOSE POLICE OFFICERS WHO DEALT WITH HIM. I DON'T BELIEVE ..."

DON SAULER WASN'T LYING. WE ONLY NEEDED FELISTER BECAUSE WE WERE HOPELESSLY DOOMED OURSELVES AND HAD NO OTHER PROSPECT OF EXACTLY WHERE TO GO.

- "THE EXPLANATION FOR THAT," I WENT ON, "MIGHT ACTUALLY BE TOO REASONABLE. FELISTER HAD BEEN TRYING TO SELF-MEDICATE - IN HIS OWN WAY, WHILE INTENDING TO DREAM CONSCIOUSLY AND TO DECEIVE THE DEMON, WHO WAS ABLE TO PENETRATE HIS DREAMS AT HIS DELIBERATE WISH, WHICH THE FARMER HAD BEEN INDUCING SINCE THE OPENING OF THE SECOND DOOR OF DREAMING, THE PURPOSE OF WHICH WAS TO PASS FROM ONE DREAM TO ANOTHER AND NEVER WAKE UP IN A FAMILIAR WORLD, CONTROLLING REALITY IN A VERY SUBTLE WAY, AND ON THE OTHER HAND, THROUGH THAT SAME SECOND DOOR OF DREAMING, HE WAS ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE DEMON IN THE AFTERLIFE AND CAUSE IT TO LEAP UPON THE PIGS, AND SUBSEQUENTLY UPON GUS BENZOUR HIMSELF, WHO HAD BEEN TRANSPORTING HIM ALL ALONG-WHETHER AWARE OF THIS FACT OR NOT, BUT FELISTER WAS ON THE LOWEST POSSIBLE LEVEL OF HEALING. MISTER EMBANKS HAD SIMPLY BEEN LEANING ON THE DEMON THAT HAD POSSESSED HIM DUE TO HIS IMPURE CONSCIOUSNESS IN HIS ATTEMPTS TO PURSUE SOME SPECIFIC CONDITION, BUT THAT HAD SIMPLY RESULTED IN HIS INABILITY TO USE HIS MAIN CONSCIOUSNESS FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE, AND HIS AUXILIARY CONSCIOUSNESS HAD PROVEN TO BE THE LEADING ONE."

DESPITE MY RATHER STRANGE EXPLANATIONS, IT SEEMED TO ME THAT ALL THREE OF THE HEALTHMEN REALIZED THAT FELISTER HAD BEEN CUNNINGLY TRYING TO MANIPULATE THE DEMON, LEADING IT TO BELIEVE, HOWEVER, THAT EVERYTHING IT HAD DONE HAD BEEN ACCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL, BUT THAT IT HAD ACTUALLY GONE MUCH DEEPER IN ITS QUEST AND HAD INFLUENCED MANY MORE DESTINIES - EVEN THEIR OWN.

- "I MEAN, THAT'S THE REAL LEGACY OF FELISTER," DON SAULER SIGHED. "WELL, I'D SAY IT'S STILL REMARKABLE, BUT I'M FAR FROM RULING OUT THE POSSIBILITY OF SOMETHING ELSE. I MEAN, HE WAS JUMPING FROM DREAM TO DREAM, ALTERING REALITY WITH HIS OWN ENERGY BODY, USING HIS DREAM ATTENTION[3], WHICH HE WAS OBLIGED TO MAINTAIN AT AN EVEN HIGHER LEVEL TO CARRY OUT HIS DESIGN.  BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, IN SPIRITUAL WARFARE WITH THESE DEMONS, MANY SIDE EFFECTS CAN OCCUR," HE ADDED, "YES, WE MUST REMEMBER THOUGH THAT THEY ARE CREATURES OF DARKNESS AND AS SUCH DO NOT LIKE TO BE BROUGHT INTO THE LIGHT. THAT'S WHY FELISTER HAS KEPT HIS EYES CLOSED - TO..."

THE STRANGE WIND WAS HEARD AGAIN, DYING DOWN ALMOST INSTANTLY. WHO KNOWS WHY - ALTHOUGH IT DIDN'T GO UNNOTICED, SOMEHOW IT DIDN'T MAKE SUCH AN IMPRESSION ON US THIS TIME, BECAUSE WE HAD ALL INCREASED OUR ATTENTION AND CONCENTRATION - AS IT WAS ON THESE THAT OUR LIVES PRACTICALLY DEPENDED.

NEVERTHELESS, I DECIDED TO CONCLUDE MY FINAL INSIGHTS:

- I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD ALWAYS BE AWARE OF OUR DREAMS, BUT I AM DEFINITELY NOT OF THE OPINION THAT WE SHOULD ALWAYS ANALYZE WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS REALITY - SO IT CAN BE CHANGED AT ANY MOMENT BY SOME LUNATIC LIKE FELISTER WHO WANTS TO ACQUIRE SUPERNATURAL POWER!

ARLO AND ZONARA HAD RATHER SAD FACES - APPARENTLY ANGELIC NOTIONS OF MORALITY WERE DIFFERENT FROM MY OWN. I DIDN'T BLAME THEM - THE VERY FACT THAT THEY HAD ACCOMPANIED ME THIS FAR WAS MORE THAN INDICATIVE THAT I WOULDN'T BE ALONE FOR A WHILE AT LEAST.

- "IT MIGHT JUST BE THAT FELISTER HAD COMMITTED VARIOUS BAD AND CRIMINAL ACTS IN HIS PREVIOUS LIVES, AND BILLS MUST ALWAYS BE PAID - ONE WAY OR ANOTHER," REGINALD SUGGESTED.

FROM A BRUTAL CRIMINAL LIKE HIMSELF IT WOULD HAVE SOUNDED RATHER COMICAL, HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR THE UTTER EARNESTNESS AND SADNESS WITH WHICH HE UTTERED IT. REGINALD HAD BEEN CONFINED AT FORT LEAVENWORTH, WHICH WAS IN THE NORTHEASTERN PART OF THE STATE OF KANSAS, WHERE CONDITIONS WERE ABOMINABLE-THIS HAD HAPPENED TWENTY-FIVE YEARS BEFORE. IT WAS INTERESTING TO NOTE THAT IT WAS A MILITARY PRISON-THAT IS, ITS MANAGEMENT WAS IN THE HANDS OF THE MILITARY. HE HAD MIRACULOUSLY ESCAPED - AS HAD EIL, CHAMPS AND DURIGHT. THEY FOUR HAD THE MOST WEIGHT IN THE ROCKER