A Spiritual Bond by Indira Nankoosingh (books to read in your 20s female txt) 📕

Nina's grandfather was the best father, but he was the greatest grandfather she could ever have. His idea of discipline was beat his kids when they did something wrong, but when his grandchidren was born he was a different man. He was kind, gentle and loved his grandchidren, especially Nina. He thought Nina was special because she was different. She had a bright smile that lit up a room even though she had some misfortunes once she was born. She was the one her father did not want, but that is a whole different story all together - in which I will talk about later in the story. Sher was very close to her grandfather in a father and daughter sort of way.

When Nina's grandmother talked about him, she would say that he would hang around other woman after work and come home late in the eveing as if he was cheating on her. Nina's aunt and would occasionally mention that he used to beat them often while they were growing up, and Nina didn't like hearing these stories about her grandfather. She only wanted to remember him as the kind, gentle man she knew. In fact he was mroe like a father to her, and that is the way she wanted to remember him. 

Although she heard these stories, she could only remember when she used to sit on his lap and he would talk to her so gently. He was calm and peaceful. He was loving. Something she never had from her father. With her grandfather and he never did anything to harm her. She also knew how special she was to him, because it was often commented on by family members. They would even comment on the fact how she resembled her grandfather so much -- perhaps he thought of her more like a daughter. Nina also guessed it was because of her learning disabilities. Nina's grandfather took extra care nurtiring her as best he could in Nina’s early years of childhood. Could this have been to make up for the mistakes he made as a father with his own children?

It was possible, but there was a lot more to it than that. Perhaps he had a strong belief that Nina was meant to be in this world even after her father, apparently tried to get rid of her.

She remembered overhearing some family members discussing the matter. They discussed how her father had tried end her life, before she was even born. The story was that her father tried to manipulater her mother into swallowing many types of medications while she was pregnant with Nina. Her mom was quite young at the time, so perhaps, her mom was afraid of Nina's father too.

It was a conversation Nina wished she never heard, and tried to push it from her tortured mind, altogether. Of course, Nina was never sure if her mom actually took these pills or not, and she believed that it would always be a mystery -- one she may never wish to solve, since she thought that it was bad enough hear about it.

Nina believed that her father didn’t want another child and thought that this was the only way to keep her from entering this world.

Nina was eight years old when she moved to Canada, along with her sister. They moved to join their parents, and brother in their new home. Another reason why Nina felt she was unwanted, was due to all the abuse her father had put her through for so long.

When Nina was about twelve years old she found out that her grandparents were coming to live with her and the rest of the family in Canada. Later it was revealed that her grandfather had sold everything back home for Nina’s sake. Nina believed that he came to protect her from her father to the best of his ability. At the same time, knowing that he couldn’t really do much to help, since he was not well, and in his seventies. The only thing he could do was talk to her father about easing off his treatment on Nina. Her father finally did. He at least eased off on the beatings, but then moved onto another maltreatment on Nina that left her feeling ashamed of herself. It was one thing that she wasn't sure she could tell her grandfather about, after all she didn't understand it herself. She only knew that she felt uncomfortable when she sat on her father's lap, and so it became her Nina's and her father secret.

After her grandfather passed on, Nina remembered being in the funeral home watching her grandfather in his coffin. She was fourteen at he time, and didn't understand anything about death. I guess part of it was due to her learning disabilities, and the other part was, because she didn't really have much of a mind of her own. After all, Her father was the one that controlled everything she did, and made decisions for her along with the trauma he was putting upon her.

Coming back to the funeral home, Nina did not cry, until her dad reminded her of all the things her grandfather did for her. All she could think at the time before she began to cry was that her grandfather wasn't going to be there to protect her any longer. Maybe she would have been able to say something about what her father did a couple years before. Now that she was older, and was able to understand things a little more. The other thing she thought about, or I should say imagined, was the spirit of her grandfather floating above, still watching over her. She did notknow why she imagined it. She just did. It came suddenly to her mind, and not too long before she began to cry uncontrollably.

Over the years that followed, she continued having to live through hell at the hands of
her father’s wrath, until she turned twenty-one. It was when she was finally able to
escape.

She moved in with her sister and brother-in-law for about a year, before she was strong enough to move out on her own. Also, her sister and her never really saw eye to eye on many other things, and felt she needed to leave.

As time passed on, there were many times when she almost had her foot caught under a wheel of a car, or crossing the road, not realizing it there was a green light, at least until someone honked. It was as if she was not there at all, and an empty shell was waiting to be filled with hope, personality, and love for herself. All she did know, was that her grandfather was obviously still watching out for her, because if he was not, she would have been at her own funeral by then. It was then she realized that her grandfather would always be watching out for her, and continues to believe this up to now.

Text: Indira Nankoosingh
Images: Indira Nankoosingh
Editing: Author
Publication Date: 10-23-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This book is dedicated to my grandfather who would always be missed.