Outcast by Abigail Livinghouse (self help books to read TXT) 📕

Rafaela

I leaned back in the leather seat in Conner’s sleek black convertible. He kept the hood up though, because the wind messed up our hair. He had one hand on the wheel, the other around my shoulders, his eyes partly on the road and partly on me.

“Are you okay?” He asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

Now, Conner isn’t the type to worry about anything. ‘A nice buzz will fix whatever’s troubling you’, was his motto. When he noticed something was wrong was when I noticed that I’d have to change. I didn’t know I was being so obvious. What had happened with Gabriel a week ago had been troubling me. Had I been drunk? Stoned? Or just plain old tired? I couldn’t figure out if I had taken a pretty wacky trip to La La Land, or if what had happened had really happened.

“Rafaela”, Conner snapped his fingers in front of my face, I blinked and shook my head, looking foggily at him.

“What?” I asked, irritated.

“I asked you if you were okay. Are you? Did you sneak something from my stash? I told you that stuff was for Ronnie and Ken, not for us. I have plenty left that we could use, the others were extras for my customers.” He said angrily, his arm tightening around my shoulders. I shook my head.

“No, I didn’t fucking steal from you.” I snapped, throwing his arm off me and leaning close to the door. He looked at me, his eyes dark.

“What the hell’s your problem then?” He asked me in the same pissed tone as before.

“Stop the car.” I said simply. He looked at me oddly.

“What?” He asked.

“Stop the damn car!” I shouted.

Conner immediately hit the brakes, lurching us forward. My arms flew out instinctively, and I gripped the dash to keep my head from going through the windshield. I slung my bag over my shoulder, opened the door, andjumped out.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He yelled, looking up at me furiously.

“I can’t do this right now Conner, I just can’t. I’m done.” I said, my face flushed.

Thunder boomed overhead, and I felt the first few drops of cold rain landing on my head. Perfect. Just perfect.

“What do you mean ‘you’re done’? Get back in the goddamned car!” Conner spouted, opening the passenger door and motioning me in.

I shook my head, the rain beginning to come down harder. My makeup was being shot to hell, but I didn’t care at the moment. What I cared about right now was getting away from here.

“No. I’m leaving.” I said, turning around and beginning the walk back home which was only a few blocks away.

“How are you going to get to school?” Conner shouted after me. I ignored him, resisting the urge to shout back.

I stormed in through the front door, the rain outside coming down in waves. I was completely soaked through, my mascara running down my face and my hair dripping. My boots squished as I came into the foyer and threw them off. Our maid Rita, rushed in, fussing in Spanish about my hair and my clothes. I rolled my eyes and threw her the only word I knew in Spanish and the English signal to go with it, bird is the word. Her eyes widened and her Spanish only came out more feverishly and pretty much pissed off.

I headed outside onto the covered deck where I plopped down on one of the wicker chairs, grabbing one of the linen napkins that were only for show and wiping the makeup residue off my face. I swiped another one and dried what I could of my hair. I threw the wet napkins on the table, running my hands through my damp hair.

Was I going crazy? Did what happen with Gabriel ever really happen? Had I just been super drunk and had hallucinated? Was there even a Gabriel? I rubbed my eyes. Damn, I must be crazy. If I wasn’t, then I would know if someone even existed.

“Fuck”, I said, keeping my hands over my eyes.

The pounding of the rain was actually pretty nice to listen to, and with my eyes closed I could imagine that what had happened hadn’t happened, and that I was back to not giving a damn about anything again.

“Rafaela.”

My eyes snapped open at my name. Oh shit, that voice was pretty damn familiar.

I looked up to see the person I had been wondering about for a week standing over me, looking pretty fucking real if you ask me. Well, there went my theory about being too drunk.

Gabriel

I looked down at Rafaela, her clothes wet and clinging to her curvy body, her hair damp and sticking to her face. I had been avoiding her, however keeping watch over her as well for the past week, and now I knew I had to talk to her. She looked up at me, her eyes widening in shock and I could see a hint of denial there. She must’ve been on the verge of convincing herself that what had happened last week actually hadn’t occurred. I wish.

“Oh shit”, she muttered, shaking her head. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

“What the hell do you want?” She asked, her tone laced with anger.

“We need to talk.” I said seriously. She threw her hands up in the air.

“About what?” She stood. “I have nothing to say to you.” She said and turned to head back inside, but I gripped her elbow, careful not to touch her skin and experience another mental lapse.

She spun around to face me, her eyes blazing. I looked away, avoiding her gaze. Soul Speakers were strong beings, and I was worried of a repeat performance of last week.

“I’m sorry I left you without an explanation before. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you, correctly.” I said, struggling for the right words.

I had come to the conclusion that I must tell her. There was no other way to properly explain what had happened. I would just leave out a few parts, like the one about me being a fallen angel. Rafaela tugged her arm free, staring at me angrily.

“Well, then go ahead and tell me what happened because I sure as hell don’t know.” She quipped, folding her arms across her chest.

I paused for a moment, reconsidering what I was about to say to her. I was going to break so many rules, and forget about returning to Heaven, I now had a one way ticket to Hell, no refunds. I inhaled, exhaled, and then told her.

“It’s difficult to explain what exactly had occurred that night, but I assure you it was nothing too serious.” I said hesitantly. She raised her eyebrows, not believing a word I said.

“Oh really? Then why’d you take off as soon as I asked you about it?” Rafaela shot back.

I shut my eyes for a moment, then opened them again. I had to give her credit, Rafaela Geordie was hard to sway.

“What the hell happened last week?” She asked, moving closer.

The rain was pounding now, so hard that it actually hurt when it made contact with your skin. But it didn’t look like either of us was going to move anytime soon, so I guess we were just going to get wet. I sighed, realizing that there really was no way around this. I would either have to tell the truth or make a run–or fly–for it, which I had already done. Well, here we go. Since I had already screwed myself over, what did I have to lose now?

“Alright, what happened in your bedroom last week was out of the ordinary and it’s hard for me to explain to you in detail about it. But I’ll give you the gist. It’s . . . almost like a . . . psychic ability, only not quite.” I said, having trouble finding the right words. She raised one eyebrow in confusion.

“Are you telling me I’m some medium? Like that Long Island chick?” She asked. I almost laughed but instead shook my head.

“No, not exactly. It’s a special property among certain individuals. You and I”, I took a pause, then spoke again. “Are some of these people.”

Rafaela eyed me suspiciously, her gaze cold. “Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you’ve been stalking me for the past two weeks.” She said, almost smugly.

My blood ran cold at her realization. Damn, she was more observant than I had originally anticipated, which was good and bad. I opened my mouth to speak, but Rafaela moved closer and began talking before I had a chance to.

“Look Gabriel, I know that you’re not normal. That kind of thing, reading minds or whatever, doesn’t happen to normal people. Now, I’m pretty fucking weird, but I’ve never met someone quite as weird as you. You show up at my party one day, then show up at the club, and now you’ve been mysteriously appearing at my school. That’s not just a little weird, it’s fucking creepy as hell.” She said angrily.

“Rafaela–”, I started once more but again, she cut me off.

“I just want to know what you want with me. I’ll be happy to believe the story that somebody slipped some whacked up shit into my drink at the club, I’m sure Eliot isn’t above that. But there’s just one thing I need from you, what the hell do you want with me?” She asked, scowling in confusion and a need to understand.

I almost laughed at the irony. I had no idea what was going on either, but apparently, I was in quite a jam here–well that was the understatement of the year–and there was no way out.

“Rafaela”, I swallowed, “I can’t leave you.” I said warily. Her confused scowl deepened.

“What are you talking about?” She asked.

I shook my head and with a deep breath, I revealed the ultimate secret of my existence that could ultimately destroy me, as if I wasn’t already damned. “I can’t leave you, because–I’m your guardian angel.”

Rafaela

My first reaction was to laugh, to point and laugh and say that his story was just a bunch of bullshit and I really had hallucinated. But then again, I thought, what if he wasn’t lying? What if he was telling the truth and he really was an angel? Okay, now I just sounded fucking stupid. But did I have any proof to