Roses by A.J Beth (motivational books for women .TXT) 📕

BIO:
Name: A.J Beth
Age: 14
Siblings: One brothers; Dave 18
About: I am a scene kid (meaning I am super colorful and upbeat.) I am an ex- cutter (I use to slit my wrists *emo*) I just moved to a different city in Maine, after hearing my dad died.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A.J.. Would you walk to the post office? Your brother has the car.” My mother asked me when I came out of my room. I looked at her smiling, “Sure!” I hadn’t seen the town by walking yet, but we’ve drove around a little bit. Dave knew his way around because before I was born they lived here.

My mother handed me something to give to the post office people and I began to walk town the road. I didn’t really see anyone out of their houses and then I came to a split in the road, on the right lead to the store and if I went straight there would be the post office a few minutes away.

While I was walking I saw a short man, no one my age. He looked at me and it creeped me out so I began to jog to get away. I got into the post office and people were looking at me weird. I walked up to the person behind the counter. “Hello, I need this mailed to…..” I forgot then I looked at my hand. “.. 79 Ridge Road, Linneus, Maine. Please.” I gave her the money and she took the box away. She didn’t even say goodbye, people in this town didn’t seem too cheerful.

I went and decided to explore town the road that led to the store, I had some money left over so I wanted to spend it. I walked in and bought a big bag of tropical skittles. There was a road right next to the store and I went down it, to find a park. There was a boy that looked my age there, he was tallish had shoulder length flippy black hair, and was wearing black skinny jeans. I went and walked up to him, “Hey.” I said, he was sitting on the swings and he looked up at me and smiled. “Hey!” He kinda laughed, I smiled and sat on the swing next to him, “I’m A.J…” I said, he was still smiling and took a breath, “I’m Andy
nice to meet you A.J.” He told me putting his hand out to shake. I shook his hand and I kept looking at him, “So want some skittles?” I asked him holding the bag out. “Sure! I love skittles!!” He expressed.

We hung out for awhile, then I gave him my number and left. I got home and mom was at the kitchen table. “Holy Moly did you get lost?” She asked me, I looked at her. “No I went and got some skittles…” I indicated, I held up the bag that still had half of the skittles in it, “Okay fine.. Oh and I found your ipod. Here ya go.” She said handing it to me.

I grabbed it and ran into my room, my music was one of the only reasons I’m still alive today. While I was a cutter, I would always have to stop every few minutes to change the song. After changing the song I would get different thoughts in my head and feel there was no need to cut anymore. (By the way, my mind works a lot different then most people. Keep that in mind)

I put my head phones in and turned it up all the way, feeling the pressure of the day slip away into the music. My phone was in my pocket and it vibrated scaring me, looking at it I turned it off. It was an old friend that annoyed the living hell out of me. I ended up falling asleep on the floor.

I woke up screaming and gripping my hair, my eyes super wide. I always had nightmares, but they were never that bad. It was mourning so I ran downstairs to see my mom. She was at the kitchen table playing on her laptop, I sat down across from her and she put her laptop away. “A.J is something wrong.. Your never up this early?” My mother asked me.

“Mom… my nightmares are back..” I told her, last time I was only 7 or so and we had to go to the psychiatrist.
“Oh.. I’ll make you an appointment with a psychiatrist. Today.” She said grabbing the phone. I went back upstairs and turned my phone on.

I had a text from Andy, ’Hey.. Want to hang out today?’ I sigh because I couldn’t, but I wanted to. “Can’t have to go see a psychiatrist today.” After a few moments of waiting he texted back. “Mind if I come with? We could hang out afterwards?” I just typed yes and turned my phone off again.

“Honey.. Your appointment is in an hour so hurry hurry.” My mother advised me. I got my clothes and make up on, I was about to walk out the door and Dave came in. “Why are you up this early?” He asked, he was just getting home from his friend’s house. “I have an appointment my nightmares are back, have fun home alone.” I said pushing past him then headed out the door to the car and I asked mom to pick Andy up so she did.. We made it to the place and we walked in, we were in the waiting room and then a secretary walked out with a list of names, “A.J Beth. Dr. Williams will see you now.” I got scared and walked up to the door.

“Ah. Your mother called me, A.J. Sit sit.” He said putting a pen to his mouth. I nervously sat down putting my hands in my lap.

“So tell me about your night mare.” He instructed. I sat back and let out a sigh.
“Every night I have nightmares… but last night was the worst.. I was running in the woods while it was dark out… I made it to my house and ran inside, I see my mother and brother slaughter. So I run out and hear laughing behind me millions of laughter I run faster trying to get away.. I run into my friends house and he hung himself in his basement. The laughter circled around me and it wouldn’t stop then a bunch of children are standing around me chanting something I couldn’t understand. I close my eyes and when I open them a man is standing over me in all black, slowly he slits my throat.” I explain to him.
“Have you always had such vivid dreams?” He asked me concerned, looking over his glasses at me.
“Yes! It feels like I’m there every time…” I explained more. “..Some times I even feel it when someone hurts me..” I whisper going on about my nightmares.

He was writing it all down, then looked back up at me.
“Are you ever depressed?” he asked me. I looked at him with my eyes wide.
“Not really.. Not very much. Rarely ever.” I said. I could keep my answer straight.
“Well I think you suffer from unknowing depressing.” He said, handing me a bottle of medication. “.. I’m going to put you on this anti-depressant.. Please tell me if you have any feeling of suicide or anymore nightmares.” He told me showing me out of the room.

I looked up from the medication and walked over to Andy and mom. “Well that was weird…” I said, they stood up and we walked out, once we were driving I saw a mall.
“Hey mom could you drop me and Andrew off at the mall?” I asked her. She looked back at me and drove to the mall.
“Now call me when you need a ride. Be safe.” She said while we were leaving the car.

I laughed and walked right next to Andy, “Not so talkative in front of my mom I see.” I said nudging his shoulder, he looked at me and smiled. “Yeah a little bit. I’m shy when it comes to girl’s parents.” He said. We were walking side by side when he grabbed my hand so he could hold it in his, and I smiled taking his hand. We went into the mall and walked around, didn’t buy anything.

We went and sat at the food court part. We were laughing having an amazing time, until my mom called.
“Yes mom?” I said. She took a moment to answer and when she did she sounded excited.
“I got a boyfriend!!!” She told me. I just said “Great” and hung up the phone.

“So that great didn’t sound very enthusiastic.. What’s wrong?” Andy asked me. I looked up at him and sipped my slushie.
“My mom got a new boy toy…” I pouted. He got up and took my hand again, I walked with him. I didn’t care where we were going, I liked being with him.

We walked out of the mall and down the road, I clung to him when I saw a bunch of creeps looking me over. He looked down at me and smiled (yes he taller than me.) We walked back to his house and we sat on his couch, “What was the point in bringing me back here?” I asked him smiling.

“I don’t really like malls.. To much going on.” He replied. I stared at him and then stared off into space, “Woah! A.J your eyes!” I heard him say before drifting off. It was a day nightmare, first I’ve had in awhile. Once I came snapped out of it, I blinked and looked at him. He was starring at me with a strange look, “What?” I asked him.

“Your eyes… They just went from black to blue…” He explained smiling he thought it was cool, but odd.
“Oh… I’m sorry..” I apologize. I looked at my phone and check the time.
“Oh I have to go.. Lets hang out tomorrow Andy.” I say running out of the house. Once I made it to my house mom was looking at me with a mean look.

“And where were you? I looked for you at the mall.” She said impatiently stomping her foot on the floor.
“I went over to Andy’s house.. He had a headache.” I lied she slapped me across the face and sent me to my room. That was the first time she had ever hit me, and I was worried. I went out of my room to get a drink and saw a man sitting on MY couch.

“Mom! What the hell is this guy doing on my couch?” I asked her gripping my soda close to my chest. My mom walked out of her room, “This is my new boyfriend. Alan.” She said, I rolled my eyes and walked into my room. I decided to text Andrew, the usual. ‘Omg my mom has a new boyfriend.. I don’t like him!’ I texted. I got on face book to talk to my friend. ‘Oh.. I’m sorry.’ He texted back.

Then out of no where my old best friend began to talk to me.
~Chat~
Alice: Omg A.J u better get back here soon I miss you!!! And Bryce likes you ;)
*Bryce is a guy I had a crush on.*
A.J: Can’t… I might be back to see you guys every once and awhile though.
Alice: Aw L