Untitled(for now) by Tiffany Anyel (the reading strategies book .txt) 📕

I open my eyes and squint. Light—much too bright, peers through. I bring my hand up to shield my face. Where am I?

I realize I am lying down, on a bed of grass. It felt plush and smooth, almost velvet-y, as it brushed against my skin. Realizing the light had dimmed somewhat or maybe my eyes had adjusted to its potent brightness. I could finally take a peek at my surroundings. And more importantly I thought, find the source of what felt like unyielding light. So I did. And I catch my breath—or more accurately put—it was literately lodged in my throat somewhere. And all I could do was stare—held in literal awe at the view before me.

There were trees, as far as I could see. But these trees were not like anything I’d ever seen—they gave off rays of light. Like the way sunlight is reflected through a window. Only a thousand times more—they sparkled. No tiny specks of randomly floating dust particles—only glittering orbs of light. Dancing. Suspended in the air. It was beautiful!—no. Breath-taking.

And before I could ask myself a whole series of questions that were no doubt swimming at the tip of my consciousness—I get up and brush myself off. And spin around slowly. Wow. These trees—they stood tall. Very tall. I imagined me an ant in comparison. And they were spaced far apart. No one tree overshadowed or overlapped the other. And I swear, I could feel them…breathing. They seemed alive—and not just in the general organic sense, but...consciously alive. They were…aware of me, as I was of them.

After sometime—don’t know how long, I had started to walk. Despite having no idea where I was going, or even where I was, I wanted to see more. Feel more. I felt…refreshed. Revitalized somehow. I could only feel...light.

I see no roads or street signs—only the lighted paths made by the trees. “Ouch.” Id felt a tinge of pain, and lifted my foot. An acorn? I rubbed my foot, and picked it up. And now was staring at it, in the palm of my hand. I smiled. There were no other acorns on the ground. I looked up at the tree I assumed the acorn fell from. Nope—no acorns there either. I stare at the tree—or was more like instantaneously hypnotized by it. It sparkled. Like the others. I reach my hand out and watch as the light reflects and bounces off my hand. And if I hold my palm steady it looked like I was holding a beam of light. I stand there and play with the tree—the tree’s light.

I am totally enchanted by this place—it feels magical. Like fairytale type magical—where nature comes alive, and the animals literally speak to you. It is hard to be on your guard—or worried even—when surrounded by feelings of such...pureness? A place it seems untouched by any feeling or thought—not of beauty. I smiled at the thought, as I looked to the sky—seeing only the tree tops.

The limbs branched out, like an umbrella. Casting down beams of light, reminding me of rain. I gazed overhead, as I spun around slowly. When I hear crunching leaves. I quickly turn my head, and extend my ears in the direction of where I thought the sound had come from. Behind me? No, beside me. Somewhere not too far off next to me. It sounded like feet hitting dried out fallen leaves. I look down at the ground, seeing only crisp green grass, for what seemed like miles. In all directions. How can that be? I had heard it. Right?

Looking down now, with a furrowed brow. I watch showers of light, sprinkle the ground. Making the grass appear animated, as it slowly touched down and blinked out. It was beautiful. Mesmerizing. And almost had me forgetting why I was looking so intently at the ground—completely rapt—in the first place. Almost.

It was with me now—a tingling sensation—all over. Like tiny needles, lightly pricking my body, and engorging my senses. Making me suddenly aware of...another. Someone’s here with me? I peer through the trees. Had I somehow overlooked or hadn’t noticed someone else? Not likely. I hadn’t seen anything or anyone, since I woke up here. It was only me and the trees—or so I had thought. And looking out now—still not seeing anything or anyone, it would seem, I had been right. I had been alone. I was alone.

It would of been so easy right then, to chuck up, what I just heard, to mere 'mind playing tricks' or better yet, utter denial. Only...I knew better.

Trying to make sense of it--through my head--was the problem. I had come to realize, hanging on to 'no-ways, cant-be's, and not possible's'--here (where ever I am), left me feeling heavy. Like trying to think when you have static-y white noise playing in the background. Choosing to go with the flow, as they say, made things easier. And it seemed to heighten my other senses--exponentially. Or maybe for once my focus was somewhere else--besides my thinking brain.

I realized tuning into my senses, and body, is where I...could feel this other.
And for the first time--ever, I was not thinking--at all, only feeling. And it felt...good.

I had tapped into...something. Something ancient, something lost, something I had forgotten. Something real. Only I couldnt feel--what, only that it was there. And in that moment something changed in me. I let go...and let be. I opened myself to...myself.

Allowing myself, to let go, to breathe, to...feel. Who knew there was so much in me, that had not been felt? So much...of everything. It was beautiful. I was beautiful. I realized, in that moment, all of it...shaped me. Feeling tears on my face, I opened my eyes--I hadnt realized that I had closed them. I was still in the exact same spot I was in--before my cosmic epiphany moment. I was sure, I had got swept up by something. Something graceful..and it had taken me to the stars. But I was still here, still surrounded by magic--I was sure. And I was also still aware of the other with me. They hadnt left me.

Somehow I knew, and felt, what just happened to me...was no coincidence..and that my 'unseen stranger' had something to do with it. I smiled. Seen or unseen...what just happened to me was...me-changing. And I couldnt help but feel gratitude...and mild curiosity--okay red hot! curiosity about this stranger.

I see how the tangled roots of a tree formed an odd bowl-like shape—perfect for sitting. I walk over, slide down its smooth trunk, and lay my head back. The roots extended out, almost touching my knees. Feeling like long arms. I nestled in between. I take a deep breath, and close my eyes. I needed to think—it felt alitte disconcerting to force myself to think for a change. Normally its the other way around--I think alot. I use to think it was a good thing, but now, after this...Im not so sure its all its cracked up to be. I was surprised, I still could--after the 'feeling' ordeal earlier. And I was waiting for clever rationale to show up, and spit out all the reasons all of this was just beyond real--the slim-to-none chance of any of this being other than very--unreal.

My faithful companion was there...but there was no spitting. No harsh words. Only...contemplation and questions: Where am I?? Does it even matter? What has happened to me? How did I get here? And the most obvious, that I wanted to ask--and to have answered right then and there, by the only other one that was there with me, was: Why..are you...hiding from me?

I had been silently breathing for awhile, when I feel a light touch on my shoulder. And I catch my breath. And slowly feel my heart begin to beat rather rapidly and with force. Making it hard to concentrate on anything else—let alone getting my eyelids to function properly. I guess on some level, I hoped I imagined it. But my body could not ignore what it felt, and I realized neither could I. I slowly—with much concentration—opened my eyes.

I didnt know what I was expecting, but immediately felt disappointed. There was nothing there. I close my eyes. Ugh! I am beyond frustrated. "Coward!" I hear myself say. I notice I am waiting for a response. After sitting for awhile, and waiting for something to happen. I get up, and wipe myself off. Ahead of me, I see a breakthrough from the trees. I stop and stand on my tiptoes. Its water. It almost looked like an island all by itself. Somehow nestled in between the surrounding forest. From here, I could see what looked like a drop. And where the grass lead way to the shallow shore.

Walking toward the drop, hearing the waves, rushing to shore. Reminded me of how much I loved that sound. And looking out now, at the water, seeing varied shades of blue and green, I could only feel…good. Relaxed. At the drop, I sit down and stare out, over the water. I look down at my feet, and notice a narrow, but distinguished path leading down to the shore. It was flanked with patches of the most beautiful pink and purple flowers. With petals that shimmered, and stems almost as long as my arms.

Languidly walking down the path, bending down ever so often, to smell the sweetest scent. I start to feel the water gently spray me, as the wind moved the waves closer to shore. Almost there. I could finally see the bottom of the seemingly endless path. I bend down, one last time, to smell a flower. When I see... When I see...him.

Flower in hand, and mouth agape, I pause—literally, pause. After sometime, I realize my hand has gone limp, and my knees have started to ache. Only I couldn’t move—atleast not yet. He was bent down, leaning over the water. I slowly stood up. Never once looking away—or more accurately put, never once wanting to.

He was several feet away, and hadn’t moved. Could this be..? Do I even need to ask? I stood there and breathed him in. I wanted to move closer, I wanted to say something, I wanted him to turn around. I wanted…to be able to do something else, besides stand here, and want to, want to do something. How has he not noticed me? Or...has he noticed? Of course, he has.

I smiled. So why are you pretending not to notice me, noticing you?

Somehow I feel him smiling. And I feel my heart beating.

I stepped closer… And I reach my hand out, to tap his shoulder. He starts to turn around. And it all becomes blurry.. I opened my eyes.