War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy (latest ebook reader .TXT) π
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- Author: graf Leo Tolstoy
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βOh, donβt speak of his going, donβt! I wonβt hear it spoken of,β said the princess in the same petulantly playful tone in which she had spoken to Hippolyte in the drawing room and which was so plainly ill-suited to the family circle of which Pierre was almost a member. βToday when I remembered that all these delightful associations must be broken off ... and then you know, AndrΓ©...β (she looked significantly at her husband) βIβm afraid, Iβm afraid!β she whispered, and a shudder ran down her back.
Her husband looked at her as if surprised to notice that someone besides Pierre and himself was in the room, and addressed her in a tone of frigid politeness.
βWhat is it you are afraid of, Lise? I donβt understand,β said he.
βThere, what egotists men all are: all, all egotists! Just for a whim of his own, goodness only knows why, he leaves me and locks me up alone in the country.β
βWith my father and sister, remember,β said Prince Andrew gently.
βAlone all the same, without my friends.... And he expects me not to be afraid.β
Her tone was now querulous and her lip drawn up, giving her not a joyful, but an animal, squirrel-like expression. She paused as if she felt it indecorous to speak of her pregnancy before Pierre, though the gist of the matter lay in that.
βI still canβt understand what you are afraid of,β said Prince Andrew slowly, not taking his eyes off his wife.
The princess blushed, and raised her arms with a gesture of despair.
βNo, Andrew, I must say you have changed. Oh, how you have....β
βYour doctor tells you to go to bed earlier,β said Prince Andrew. βYou had better go.β
The princess said nothing, but suddenly her short downy lip quivered. Prince Andrew rose, shrugged his shoulders, and walked about the room.
Pierre looked over his spectacles with naΓ―ve surprise, now at him and now at her, moved as if about to rise too, but changed his mind.
βWhy should I mind Monsieur Pierre being here?β exclaimed the little princess suddenly, her pretty face all at once distorted by a tearful grimace. βI have long wanted to ask you, Andrew, why you have changed so to me? What have I done to you? You are going to the war and have no pity for me. Why is it?β
βLise!β was all Prince Andrew said. But that one word expressed an entreaty, a threat, and above all conviction that she would herself regret her words. But she went on hurriedly:
βYou treat me like an invalid or a child. I see it all! Did you behave like that six months ago?β
βLise, I beg you to desist,β said Prince Andrew still more emphatically.
Pierre, who had been growing more and more agitated as he listened to all this, rose and approached the princess. He seemed unable to bear the sight of tears and was ready to cry himself.
βCalm yourself, Princess! It seems so to you because.... I assure you I myself have experienced ... and so ... because ... No, excuse me! An outsider is out of place here.... No, donβt distress yourself.... Good-by!β
Prince Andrew caught him by the hand.
βNo, wait, Pierre! The princess is too kind to wish to deprive me of the pleasure of spending the evening with you.β
βNo, he thinks only of himself,β muttered the princess without restraining her angry tears.
βLise!β said Prince Andrew dryly, raising his voice to the pitch which indicates that patience is exhausted.
Suddenly the angry, squirrel-like expression of the princessβ pretty face changed into a winning and piteous look of fear. Her beautiful eyes glanced askance at her husbandβs face, and her own assumed the timid, deprecating expression of a dog when it rapidly but feebly wags its drooping tail.
βMon Dieu, mon Dieu!β she muttered, and lifting her dress with one hand she went up to her husband and kissed him on the forehead.
βGood night, Lise,β said he, rising and courteously kissing her hand as he would have done to a stranger.
The friends were silent. Neither cared to begin talking. Pierre continually glanced at Prince Andrew; Prince Andrew rubbed his forehead with his small hand.
βLet us go and have supper,β he said with a sigh, going to the door.
They entered the elegant, newly decorated, and luxurious dining room. Everything from the table napkins to the silver, china, and glass bore that imprint of newness found in the households of the newly married. Halfway through supper Prince Andrew leaned his elbows on the table and, with a look of nervous agitation such as Pierre had never before seen on his face, began to talkβas one who has long had something on his mind and suddenly determines to speak out.
βNever, never marry, my dear fellow! Thatβs my advice: never marry till you can say to yourself that you have done all you are capable of, and until you have ceased to love the woman of your choice and have seen her plainly as she is, or else you will make a cruel and irrevocable mistake. Marry when you are old and good for nothingβor all that is good and noble in you will be lost. It will all be wasted on trifles. Yes! Yes! Yes! Donβt look at me with such surprise. If you marry expecting anything from yourself in the future, you will feel at every step that for you all is ended, all is closed except the drawing room, where you will be ranged side by side with a court lackey and an idiot!... But whatβs the good?...β and he waved his arm.
Pierre took off his spectacles, which made his face seem different and the good-natured expression still more apparent, and gazed at his friend in amazement.
βMy wife,β continued Prince Andrew, βis an excellent woman, one of those rare women with whom a manβs honor is safe; but, O God, what would I not give now to be unmarried! You are the first and only one to whom I mention this, because I like you.β
As he said this Prince Andrew was less than ever like that BolkΓ³nski who had lolled in Anna PΓ‘vlovnaβs easy chairs and with half-closed eyes had uttered French phrases between his teeth. Every muscle of his thin face was now quivering with nervous excitement; his eyes, in which the fire of life had seemed extinguished, now flashed with brilliant light. It was evident that the more lifeless he seemed at ordinary times, the more impassioned he became in these moments of almost morbid irritation.
βYou donβt understand why I say this,β he continued, βbut it is the whole story of life. You talk of Bonaparte and his career,β said he (though Pierre had not mentioned Bonaparte), βbut Bonaparte when he worked went step by step toward his goal. He was free, he had nothing but his aim to consider, and he reached it. But
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