Post Haste by Robert Michael Ballantyne (free reads .txt) 📕

can tell at present, my dear," replied Pax, with a careworn look, "but I'll hatch a plot of some sort durin' the lecture.-- Let me see," he added, with sudden animation, glancing at the limited portion of sky that roofed the court, "I might howl 'im down! That's not a bad idea. Yellin' is a powerful influence w'en brought properly to bear. D'you mind waitin' in the porch till the lecture's over?"

"O no! I can wait as long as ever you please, if you'll only try to save father," was Tottie's piteous response.

"Well, then, go into the porch and sit by the door, so that you can hear and see what's goin' on. Don't be afraid of the one-eyed fair one who guards the portals. She's not as bad as she looks; only take care that you don't tread on her toes; she can't stand _that_."

Tottie promised to be careful in this respect, and expressed a belief that she was too light to hurt Mrs Square, even if she did tread on her toes accidentally.

"You're wrong, Tottie," returned Pax; "most females of your tender years are apt to jump at wrong conclusions. As you live longer you'll find out that some people's toes are so sensitive that they can't bear a feather's weight on 'em. W'y, there's a member of our Society who riles up directly if you even look at his toes. We keep that member's feet in hot water pretty continuously, we do.--There now, I'll be too late if I keep on talkin' like this. You'll not feel tired of the lecture, for Solomon's sure to be interesting, whatever his subject may be. I don't know what it is--he hasn't told us yet. You'll soon hear it if you listen."

Pax re-entered the hall, and Tottie sat down by the door beside Mrs Square, just as Solomon Flint rose to his legs amid thunders of applause.


CHAPTER TWENTY.


THE POST OF THE OLDEN TIME.

When the applause had subsided Solomon Flint caused a slight feeling of depression in the meeting by stating that the subject which he meant to bring before them that evening was a historical view of the Post-Office. Most of those present felt that they had had more than enough of the Post-Office thrust on their attention every day of their lives, and the irreverent member ventured to call out "Shop," but he was instantly and indignantly called to order.

When, however, Solomon went on to state his firm belief that a particular branch of the Post-Office began in the immediate neighbourhood of the Garden of Eden, and that Adam was the first Postmaster-General, the depression gave way to interest, not unmingled with curiosity.

"You see, my young friends," continued the lecturer, "our information with regard to the origin of the Post-Office is slight. The same may be said as to the origin of a'most everythink. Taking the little information that we do possess, and applying to it the reasoning power which was given to us for the purpose of investigatin' an' discoverin' truth, I come to the following conclusions:--

"Adam was a tiller of the ground. There can be no doubt about that. Judging from analogy, we have the best ground for supposing that while Adam was digging in the fields Eve was at home preparing the dinner, and otherwise attending to the domestic arrangements of the house, or hut, or hovel, or cave. Dinner being ready, Eve would naturally send little Cain or Abel to fetch their father, and thus, you see, the branch of boy-messengers began." (Applause, mingled with laughter and cheers.)

"Of course," continued Solomon, "it may be objected--for some people can always object--(Hear, hear)--that these were not _Post-Office_ messengers, but, my young friends, it is well known that the greater includes the less. As mankind is involved in Adam, and the oak is embedded in the acorn, so it may be maintained that the first faint germ of the Boy-Messenger Branch of the Post-Office was included in Cain and Abel.

"Passing, however, from what I may style this Post-Office germ, over many centuries, during which the records of postal history are few and faint and far between, we come down to more modern times--say five or six hundred years ago--and what do we find?" (Here Solomon became solemn.) "We find next to nothink! Absolutely next to nothink! The Boy-Messenger Department had indeed developed amazingly, insomuch that, whereas there were only two to begin with, there were in the 15th century no fewer than innumerable millions of 'em in every region and land and clime to which the 'uman family had penetrated, but no section of them had as yet prefixed the word `Telegraph' to their name, and as to postal arrangements, w'y, they were simply disgraceful. Just think, now, up to the century of which I speak--the fifteenth--there was no regular Post-Office in this country. Letters were conveyed by common carriers at the rate, probably, of three or four miles an hour. Flesh and blood couldn't stand that, you know, so about the close of the century, places, or `posts,' were established in some parts of the country, where horses could be hired by travellers, and letters might be conveyed. The post-boys of those days evidently required spurring as well as their horses, for letters of the period have been preserved with the words `_Haste, post haste_' on their backs. Sometimes the writers seem to have been in a particularly desperate hurry. One letter, written by a great man of the period, had on the back of it the words, `In haste; post haste, for thy life, for thy life, for thy life;' and it is believed that this was no idle caution, but a threat which was apt to be carried out if the post-boy loitered on the way."

It may be remarked that Solomon's language became more refined as he proceeded, but lapsed into a free-and-easy style whenever he became jocular.

"The first horse-posts," continued the lecturer, "were established for military purposes--the convenience of the public being deemed quite a secondary matter. Continental nations were in advance of England in postal arrangements, and in the first quarter of the sixteenth century (1514) the foreign merchants residing in London were so greatly inconvenienced by the want of regular letter conveyance, that they set up a Post-Office of their own from London to its outports, and appointed their own Postmaster, but, quarrelling among themselves, they referred their dispute to Government. James the First established a Post-Office for letters to foreign countries, for the benefit of English merchants, but it was not till the year 1635--in the reign of Charles the First-- that a Post-Office for inland letters was established. It was ordained that the Postmaster of England for foreign parts `should settle a running post or two to run night and day between Edinburgh and London, to go thither and come back again in six days, and to take with them all such letters as shall be directed to any post-town in or near that road.'

"In 1640 the Post-Office was placed under the care and superintendence of the Principal Secretary of State, and became one of the settled institutions of the country.

"Here, then, we have what may be considered the birth of the Post-Office, which is now pretty nigh two centuries and a half old. And what a wonderful difference there is between this infant Post-Office and the man! _Then_, six days; _now_, less than a dozen hours, between the capitals of England and Scotland--to say nothing of other things. But, my lads, we must not turn up our noses at the day of small things."

"Hear, hear," cried little Grigs, who approved the sentiment.

"Lay it to heart then, Grigs," said Peter Pax, who referred to the fact that little Grigs's nose was turned up so powerfully by nature that it could not help turning up at things small and great alike.

Laughter and great applause were mingled with cries of "Order," which Solomon subdued by holding up his hand.

"At the same time," continued the lecturer, "bye-posts were set a-going to connect the main line with large towns, such as Hull, Lincoln, Chester, etcetera. These bye-posts were farmed out to private individuals, and the rates fixed at 2 pence a single letter to any place under 80 miles; 4 pence up to 140 miles; 6 pence to any more distant place in England; and 8 pence to Scotland.

"From that date forward the infant began to grow--sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, now and then by spurts--just like other infants, and a horribly spoiled and mismanaged baby it was at first. Those who see it now,--in the prime of its manhood, wielding its giant strength with such ease, accomplishing all but miraculous work with so great speed, regularity, and certainty, and with so little fuss,--can hardly believe what a cross-grained little stupid thing it was in those early days, or what tremendous difficulties it had to contend with.

"In the first place, the roads in the land were few, and most of them inconceivably bad, besides which they were infested by highwaymen, who often took a fancy to rummage the mail-bags and scatter their contents. The post in those days was slow, but not sure. Then it experienced some trouble from other infants, of the same family, who claimed a right to share its privileges. Among these was a Post-Office established by the Common Council of London in direct rivalry to the Parliamentary child. This resulted in a great deal of squabbling and pamphleteering, also in many valuable improvements--for it is well known that opposition is the life of trade. The Council of State, however, came to the conclusion that, in an affair so thoroughly national, the office of Postmaster and the management of the Post-Office ought to rest in the sole power and disposal of Parliament; the City posts were peremptorily suppressed; opposition babies were quietly--no doubt righteously--murdered; and from that date the carrying of letters has remained the exclusive privilege of the Crown. But considerable and violent opposition was made to this monopoly. This is a world of opposition, my young friends"--the lecturer was pathetic here--"and I have no doubt whatever that it was meant to be a world of opposition"--the lecturer was energetic here, and drew an emphatic "Hear, hear," from the Scotch members. "Why, it is only by opposition that questions are ventilated and truth is established!

"No doubt every member of this ancient and literary Society is well acquainted with the name of Hill--(great cheering)--Sir Rowland Hill, who in the year 1840 succeeded in getting introduced to the nation one of the greatest boons with which it has been blessed--namely, the Penny Post." (Renewed cheering.) "Well, it is a curious and interesting fact that in the middle of the seventeenth century--more than two hundred years ago--a namesake of Sir Rowland (whether an ancestor or not I cannot tell), a Mr John Hill, wrote a pamphlet in which monopoly was condemned and a penny post suggested. The title of the pamphlet was `John Hill's Penny Post; or, A Vindication of every Englishman in carrying Merchants' or any other Men's Letters against any restraints of Farmers of such Employment.' So, you see, in regard to the Penny Post, the coming event cast its shadow about two hundred years in advance.

"The Creeping Era may be the title assigned to this period of Post-Office history. Little was expected of the Post-Office, and not much was done. Nevertheless, considering