Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiewicz (ebook reader macos TXT) 📕

not known your religion much so far. A little from you, a little from

your works, a little from Lygia, a little from conversations with you.

Still I repeat that it has made some change in me. Formerly I held my

servants with an iron hand; I cannot do so now. I knew no pity; I know

it now. I was fond of pleasure; the other night I fled from the pond of

Agrippa, for the breath was taken from me through disgust. Formerly I

believed in superior force; now I have abandoned it. Know ye that I do

not recognize myself. I am disgusted by feasts, wine, singing, citharæ,

garlands, the court of Cæsar, naked bodies, and every crime. When I

think that Lygia is like snow in the mountains, I love her the more; and

when I think that she is what she is through your religion, I love and

desire that religion. But since I understand it not, since I know not

whether I shall be able to live according to it, nor whether my nature

can endure it, I am in uncertainty and suffering, as if I were in

prison.”

Here his brows met in wrinkle of pain, and a flush appeared on his

cheeks; after that he spoke on with growing haste and greater emotion,—

“As ye see, I am tortured from love and uncertainty. Men tell me that in

your religion there is no place for life, or human joy, or happiness, or

law, or order, or authority, or Roman dominion. Is this true? Men tell

me that ye are madmen; but tell me yourselves what ye bring. Is it a

sin to love, a sin to feel joy, a sin to want happiness? Are ye enemies

of life? Must a Christian be wretched? Must I renounce Lygia? What is

truth in your view? Your deeds and words are like transparent water, but

what is under that water? Ye see that I am sincere. Scatter the

darkness. Men say this to me also: Greece created beauty and wisdom,

Rome created power; but they—what do they bring? Tell, then, what ye

bring. If there is brightness beyond your doors, open them.”

“We bring love,” said Peter.

And Paul of Tarsus added,—“If I speak with the tongues of men and of

angels, but have not love, I am become sounding brass.”

But the heart of the old Apostle was stirred by that soul in suffering,

which, like a bird in a cage, was struggling toward air and the sun;

hence, stretching his hand to Vinicius, he said,—“Whoso knocketh, to

him will be opened. The favor and grace of God is upon thee; for this

reason I bless thee, thy soul and thy love, in the name of the Redeemer

of mankind.”

Vinicius, who had spoken with enthusiasm already, sprang toward Peter on

hearing this blessing, and an uncommon thing happened. That descendant

of Quirites, who till recently had not recognized humanity in a

foreigner, seized the hand of the old Galilean, and pressed it in

gratitude to his lips.

Peter was pleased; for he understood that his sowing had fallen on an

additional field, that his fishing-net had gathered in a new soul.

Those present, not less pleased by that evident expression of honor for

the Apostle of God, exclaimed in one voice,—“Praise to the Lord in the

highest!”

Vinicius rose with a radiant face, and began,—“I see that happiness may

dwell among you, for I feel happy, and I think that ye can convince me

of other things in the same way. But I will add that this cannot happen

in Rome. Cæsar is goin to Antium and I must go with him, for I have the

order. Ye know that not to obey is death. But if I have found favor in

your eyes, go with me to teach your truth. It will be safer for you

than for me. Even in that great throng of people, ye can announce your

truth in the very court of Cæsar. They say that Acte is a Christian;

and there are Christians among pretorians even, for I myself have seen

soldiers kneeling before thee, Peter, at the Nomentan gate. In Antium I

have a villa where we shall assemble to hear your teaching, at the side

of Nero. Glaucus told me that ye are ready to go to the end of the earth

for one soul; so do for me what ye have done for those for whose sake ye

have come from Judea,—do it, and desert not my soul.”

Hearing this, they began to take counsel, thinking with delight of the

victory of their religion, and of the significance for the pagan world

which the conversion of an Augustian, and a descendant of one of the

oldest Roman families, would have. They were ready, indeed, to wander

to the end of the earth for one human soul, and since the death of the

Master they had, in fact, done nothing else; hence a negative answer did

not even come to their minds. Peter was at that moment the pastor of a

whole multitude, hence he could not go; but Paul of Tarsus, who had been

in Aricium and Fregellæ not long before, and who was preparing for a

long journey to the East to visit churches there and freshen them with a

new spirit of zeal, consented to accompany the young tribune to Antium.

It was easy to find a ship there going to Grecian waters.

Vinicius, though sad because Peter, to whom he owed so much, could not

visit Antium, thanked him with gratitude, and then turned to the old

Apostle with his last request,—“Knowing Lygia’s dwelling,” said he, “I

might have gone to her and asked, as is proper, whether she would take

me as husband should my soul become Christian, but I prefer to ask thee,

O Apostle! Permit me to see her, or take me thyself to her. I know not

how long I shall be in Antium; and remember that near Cæsar no one is

sure of tomorrow. Petronius himself told me that I should not be

altogether safe there. Let me see her before I go; let me delight my

eyes with her; and let me ask her if she will forget my evil and return

good.”

Peter smiled kindly and said,—“But who could refuse thee a proper joy,

my son?”

Vinicius stooped again to Peter’s hands, for he could not in any way

restrain his overflowing heart. The Apostle took him by the temples and

said,—“Have no fear of Cæsar, for I tell thee that a hair will not fall

from thy head.”

He sent Miriam for Lygia, telling her not to say who was with them, so

as to give the maiden more delight.

It was not far; so after a short time those in the chamber saw among the

myrtles of the garden Miriam leading Lygia by the hand.

Vinicius wished to run forth to meet her; but at sight of that beloved

form happiness took his strength, and he stood with beating heart,

breathless, barely able to keep his feet, a hundred times more excited

than when for the first time in life he heard the Parthian arrows

whizzing round his head.

She ran in, unsuspecting; but at sight of him she halted as if fixed to

the earth. Her face flushed, and then became very pale; she looked with

astonished and frightened eyes on those present.

But round about she saw clear glances, full of kindness. The Apostle

Peter approached her and asked,—“Lygia, dost thou love him as ever?”

A moment of silence followed. Her lips began to quiver like those of a

child who is preparing to cry, who feels that it is guilty, but sees

that it must confess the guilt.

“Answer,” said the Apostle.

Then, with humility, obedience, and fear in her voice, she whispered,

kneeling at the knees of Peter,—“I do.”

In one moment Vinicius knelt at her side. Peter placed his hands on

their heads, and said,—“Love each other in the Lord and to His glory,

for there is no sin in your love.”