Samantha at the World's Fair by Marietta Holley (ebook and pdf reader txt) đź“•
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- Author: Marietta Holley
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"I speak," sez I, "in the name of Jonesville!"
"Whose name?" sez he.
And I sez, "My own native land, Jonesville, nigh to Loontown, seven milds from Zoar."
"Oh!" sez he.
"Yes," sez I, "Jonesville wuz proud of his doin's, and she thinks a sight of California.
"But in one thing she feels bad: she don't want California to make so much wine; she wishes you'd stop it.
[Pg 672]
"She's proud of your fruit, your flowers, your big trees, and other products, but she wishes you'd stop makin' so much wine. Jonesville wouldn't care if you made a couple of quarts for sickness or jell, but she feels as if she couldn't bear to see you swing out and make so much." Sez I, "Jonesville and I want you to stop makin' it—we want you to like dogs."
And then sez I, in still firmer axents, "It hain't a-settin' a good example to the schoolchildren in Palo Alto and the United States."
He looked real downcasted and sad, some as if he'd never thought on't in that light before.
He didn't really promise me, but I presoom to say that he won't never make another drop.
But his face looked dretful deprested. I see that he felt it deeply to think I had found fault with him.
But to resoom. Sez I—for here my gardeen angel hunched me hard and told me that here wuz a chance to do good—mebby the Governor could carry out the wishes of him that wuz gone—sez I, "Another great thing that Jonesville and I approve of wuz Senator Stanford's bill about lendin' money." Sez I, "There never wuz a better bill brought before America, and if Uncle Sam don't pass it, he hain't the old man I think he is.
[Pg 673]
"For," sez I, "jest take the case of Jim Widrig alone; that would pay for the trouble of passin' it.
"He has got a big farm of more'n two hundred acres, but the land is all run down—he can't raise nothin' on it hardly, it needs enrichin' so; he hain't no stock, and, as he often sez, 'If I should run in debt for 'em, we should soon be landed in the Poor-House.' He's got a wife and seven boys.
"Wall, now if he could only borry 2000 dollars of Uncle Sam, and only pay forty dollars a year for it—why, they would be jest made.
"They could put on twenty young cows on the place, two good horses, and go right on to success, for Jim is hard-workin', and Mahala Widrig is one of the best hard-workin' wimmen in the precincks of Jonesville, and I don't believe she has got a second dress to her back."
The Governor murmured sunthin' about a engagement he had. He looked worried and anxious, but I and my Gardeen Angel hadn't no idee of lettin' him go while there wuz a chance for us to plead for the Right.
And I hastened to say, "Uncle Sam needn't be 'fraid of lendin' money on that farm, for it is there solid, clear down to China; it can't run away."
The Governor kinder moved off a little, as if meditatin' flight, and I spoke up some louder, bein' determined to d[Pg 674]o all I could for Mahala Widrig—good, honest, hard-workin' creeter.
Sez I, "It will be the makin' of Jim Widrigses folks and more'n fifty others right there round Jonesville, to say nothin' about the hull of the United States; and it will be money in Uncle Sam's pocket, too, in the end, and he will own up to me that it is."
The Governor here took out his watch and looked at it almost onbeknown to me, I wuz so took up a-talkin' for Justice and Mahala.
Sez I, "This bill will bring money into Uncle Samuel's pocket in the end, for it will keep the boys to hum on the old farm." Sez I, "It is Poverty that has driv the boys off—hard work, high taxes, and ruinous mortgages drives to the city lots of 'em, to add to the pauper and criminal classes—boys that Uncle Sam might have kep to hum by the means I speak of, to grow up into sober, respectable, prosperous citizens, a strength and a safeguard to the Republic, but whom he now will have to support in prisons and almshouses, a danger and menace to the Goverment.
[Pg 675]
"Poor Uncle Sam!—poor, well-meanin', but oft misguided old creeter! It would be easier for him, if he only knew it, to do what Mr. Stanford wanted him to.
"Besides, think of the masses of fosterin' crime he would be a-pressin' back and a-turnin' into good, pure influences to bless the world! And besides, the oncounted gain to Heaven and earth! Uncle Sam would git the two-cent mortgages back a dozen times in the increase of taxable property."
The Governor murmured agin that he wuz wanted to once, in a distant part of the city—he must start for California imegatly, and on the next train. Sez he incoherently, "That school wuz about to open; he must be to the University to once."
He wuz nearly delirious—I spoze he wuz nearly overcome by my remarkable eloquence, but don't know.
But as he sot off, a-movin' backward in a polite way but swift, entirely onbeknown to him he come up aginst a big tree, and with a hopeless look of resignation he leaned up aginst it, while I, a-feelin' that Providence had interfered to give me another chance at him, advanced onwards, and sez to him in a real eloquent way, "That bill will do more than any amount of beggin', or jawin', or preachin', towards keepin' the boys to hum [Pg 676]on the old deserted farms that are so thick in the country; and," sez I, "now that bill has fell out of his hands, I want you to take it up and pass it on to success."
Sez I, "Let Uncle Sam and you go out, as I have, in the country byroads in Jonesville, and Loontown, and Zoar, and you'll both gin in that I'm a-tellin' the truth."
Sez I, "If it hain't a pitiful sight in one short mornin's ride to go by more'n a dozen of them poor deserted old homes, as I have many a time, and I spoze they lay jest as thick scattered all over the State and country as they do round Jonesville."
Sez I, "To see them old brown ruffs a-humpin' themselves up jest as lonesome-lookin' and cold—no smoke a-comin' out of the chimblys to cheer 'em up—to see the bare winders a-facin' the west, and no bright eyes a-lookin' out, nor curly locks for the sunlight to git tangled in—to see the poor old door-step a-settin' there alone, as if a-tellin' over its troubles to the front gate, and that a-creakin' back to it on lonesome nights or cold, fair mornin's—
"And the old well-sweep a-pintin' up into the sky overhead, as if a-callin' Heaven to witness that it wuzn't to blame for the state of things—
"And the apple trees, with low swingin' branches, with no bare brown feet t[Pg 677]o press on 'em on the way up to the robin's nest overhead—empty barns, ruins, weedy gardens, long, lonesome stretches of paster and medder lands—
"Why, if Uncle Sam could look on sech sights, and have me right by him to tell him the reason on't—to tell him that two thousand dollars lent on easy interest would turn every one of them worthless, decayin' pieces of property into beautiful, flourishin', prosperous homes, he'd probable feel different about passin' the bill from what he duz now—
[Pg 678]
"When I told him that most generally out behind the barn, and under the apple trees and gambrul ruff, wuz crouchin' the monster that had sapped the life out of the hum—the bloated, misshapen form of a mortgage at six per cent, and that old, insatiable monster had devoured and drinked down every cent of the earnin's that the hull family could bring to appease it with—
"It would open its snappin' old jaws and swaller 'em all down, and then set down refreshed but unappeased to wait for the next earnin's to be brung him.
"Wall, now, if they could pay off that mortgage, and git rid of it, they could walk over its prostrate form into prosperity; they could afford to lighten up the bare poverty of a country farm, so repellin' to the young, with some touches of brightness. Books, music, good horses, carriages would preach louder lessons of content to the children than any they would hear from their pa's or ma's or ministers.
"They would love their hums—would make them yield, instead of ruin and depressin' influences, a good income to themselves, and good tax-payin' property to help Uncle Sam—
"Decrease vice, increase virtue—lead away from prisons and almshousen, lead toward meetin'-housen, and the halls of ju[Pg 679]stice, mebby. For in the highest places of trust and honor in the United States to-day is to be found the sons and daughters of country homes."
Here, at jest this juncture, my umbrell fell out of my hand, and it brung my eyes down to earth agin; for some time, entirely onbeknown to me, I had been a-lookin' up into the encirclin' heavens, and a-soarin' round there in oratory.
But as my eyes fell onto the Governor, I noticed the extreme weariness and mute agony on his liniment; he picked up my umbrell and handed it to me, and sez he, a-speakin' fast and agitated, as if in fear of sunthin' or ruther:—
"Your remarks are truly eloquent, and I believe every word on 'em; but," sez he, "I have an engagement of nearly life and death; I must leave you," and he sot off nearly on a run.
And I spread my umbrell and walked off with composure and dignity to tackle the next buildin', which wuz Oregon.
But my pardner jined me at that minit with his handkerchief held triumphantly in his hand.
And at his earnest request we didn't examine clost any of the State buildin's—that is, we didn't go in and look 'em over; but, from the outside view, we had a high opinion on 'em.
[Pg 680]
They wuz beautiful and extremely gorgeous, some on 'em.
And they looked real good, too, and wuz comfortable inside, I hain't a doubt on't.
I felt bad not to pay attention to every State jest as they come, and I know that they'll feel it if they ever hear on't.
But, as Josiah said, there wuz so many to pay attention to 'em, that they wouldn't mind so much as if they wuz more alone and lonely.
Wall, Josiah felt as if he'd got to have a bite of sunthin' to eat, and so we sot off at a pretty good jog for the nearest restaurant, and there we got a good lunch, and after we had done eatin', and Josiah wuz in a real good frame of mind, to all human appearance, I sez, "I'm a-goin' to see Hatye, if I don't see nothin' else."
And Josiah sez, "Where is Hatye?"
And I sez, "Not but a little ways from the German Buildin'."
And sez he, "Who is Hatye, anyway?"
And I sez, "Hatye is one of the first islands that Columbus discovered, and it ort to take a front rank in his doin's, and for lots of other reasons, too," sez I. "It is there that we see the exhibit of our colored men and bretheren."
[Pg 681]
We found Hatye a good-lookin' buildin', a story and a half high, with a good-lookin' dome a-risin' out of the centre.
[Pg 682]
And inside on't we found exhibits in fruit, grain, and machinery, and all sorts of products, and in the picters and other works of art we see that the Hatyeans wuz a-doin' first rate.
And, as I remarked to Josiah, sez I, "If Christopher Columbus stood right here by my side, he'd say—
"'Josiah Allen's wife, Hatye has done real well, and I am glad that I discovered it.'"
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