Wasted by Alexis Wadden (fiction novels to read .txt) 📕

"To all who are reading this,

You have found me dead. I am so sorry for you to see me like this. I know, you normally see me with make up and cute skirts. But did you know, under all of that, there was a sad, lonely, broken misfit? No, I bet you didn't! If you really knew me, you'd know I suffered from a severe case of depression. I may not have shown it at school, or at home for that matter. But I did. My parents didn't even know about it. I'm sorry for all the trouble this is going to cause. But mostly, I'm sorry for not being who everyone thought I was. I tried. Isn't that enough? I sure think so. But this is my final goodbye. Live happy and don't cry for me. The only person that should even be able to cry is Ben. Oh, sweet Ben. I've always loved him. No one liked him, except me. I liked him from the first day I met him. Ben, if you are reading this, I am sorry for all those times I was mean to you. I just, I didn't want people to know that I liked you. I guess that doesn't matter now. Well, a wise man once said, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." That's the last thing I'm going to leave you with. Goodbye.

Sincerly, Kesby Alena Jonsan."

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say our goodbyes to this dear angel. She was the young age of 16. Kesby Alena Jonsan was a very loud spirit, and a very beautiful young woman. She was quiet and kept to herself, but she had many friends. People liked her. Why? Because she knew how to help people. But she didn't know how to help herself. May she be in heaven, where her dear soul belongs. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."

"Oh my god! I can't believe she's gone!" Ben screams as he runs out of the funeral home. "Kesby! I love you too!" He falls to his knees and bawls...head in hands, flat out bawling. Does anyone chase after him? No... Does anyone notice the scars on his wrist from missing me? No.. Does anyone notice he's crying and screaming? No.. Why? No one cares about Ben.. Except for me. I always have.. I always will..

"After that heart breaking moment of slience for the lost, you are welcomed to eat at the chinese buffet we have arragned in memorance of Kesby. Oh how she loved chinese food." My mother, Evlin Marie Jonsan, says faking a tear. "Oh, I need a moment to myself. Excuse me." Everyone looks away, to miss her grabbing her vibrating phone and answering it.

"Hello, Evlin Jonsan?" a man's voice says.

"Yes, this is she. And who might this be?" she's so slick.

"Hi, this is David Markington. Calling from U.S.A Today. I would like to interview you and you husband about your loss..By the way, I'm very sorry to hear about it. Rather tragic, isn't it?" He says.

"Yes, tragic." She says in a sarcastic tone only she and I could ever understand. "So, about that interview. Will we be compensated?" She looks at my father from accross the room. She waves him over. He mouthed "No" and got back to talking to Bens' mother. Daddy is the only one that actually liked me out of my two parents. I miss daddy. It's mother I don't care for.

"Absoloutely." The man said. "35,000 dollars." Mom's mouth drops. Even the blind can see the evil look on her face.

"Well, yes. I think that's exceptable." She fake snifles. She's sickening. "I miss her so much. It'll be very painful for Jerry and I to talk about it...especially on Television, with thousands of people watching."

"Oh, I'll understand if you don't want too. That is completely up to you, Mrs. Jonsan. Which ever you.."

"We'll do it!" Mom cuts him off mid-sentence.

"Oh! Magnificent! How will, June 23rd, 2013 work?" He inquires.

"Sounds wonderful."

"We will send you the tickets in the mail. We already have your address. The whole trip is paid for by U.S.A Today. Have a wonderful day, Mrs. Jonsan. I'll see you soon."

"Thanks, and you too!" Mom hangs up the phone, puts her "Oh, poor pityful me" face back on, and walks back to the guests.

It's been a week, since I....died. And nothing has really changed....I'm still floating on Earth, waiting for some road or path way that'll lead me to heaven, or to hell. I can't decide where I'm going. But that's not really my desicion to make. I guess I'll find out someday, I hope. 

Since I've been gone, I've been spending all my "ghost" time with Ben, the love of my life. Does he notice I'm there? I can't tell. But I've been laying right beside him as he sleeps and protecting him at school. I guess you could say I am his "Gaurdian angel".

"Ben." He doesn't wake. "Ben!" I touch his arm; it's warm and soft. But he still doesn't wake. I get up and knock a lamp down.

"Who's there?" He jumps up in a panic. "Who's there?"

I grab a pen and he freaks out. I write:

"Benny Boy, It's me, Kesby."

"Kesby?" He says. "Kesby! Oh my god, I missed you!"

"I think I'm a ghost."

"I don't care. I love you all the same. Kesby, kiss me. I know I won't be able to feel it, but please.

I kiss him; hard. I wrap my arms around his necks, and pucker. Soon, he puckers too.

"Kesby! I can see you! I can feel you!" He stops kissing and runs his hands through my long brown hair, touches my face, and kisses me again. He pulls me on top of him, and I lose control. I kiss, forcing his mouth open.

"Kesby!" He says when we finally slow down. "I love you."

"I love you too.." I say.

His bed room door opens, and his mom walks in. "Benjamin? What is going on in here?" I automatically jump off of him.

"Oh nothing, mom." He looks over at me.

"Ben, what are you looking at?" His mom asks, looking in my direction.

"Oh, nothing. Staring off into space." He sighs.

"Okay, darling. Well, I'm here if you need to talk.." She closes the door, and looks very upset.

Ben sighs. "Kesby?" He looks around. "Are you still there? I need you.." 

When he hears nothing, he closes his eyes a drifts off to sleep. 

-Ben's Dream-

"Run!" I yell. Kesby is just standing there...she can't move... "Kesby! Run!"

She looks up at me, blood dripping from her neck. "What do I do..?" She's having a hard time making out the words. She can't breathe.. "H...help..me.." She falls. 

I run over to her, picking up her limp, warm body. I look down at her, her blood trickling from her neck onto my clothes. I gently kiss her forehead, then stand up with her in my arms. "No one is even here to say goodbye. No one is even here to tell you they love you. No one is devastated..What the hell?" 

Publication Date: 04-25-2013

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