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Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page



CHAPTER ONE - Mr. Monk Gets His Kicks

CHAPTER TWO - Mr. Monk and the Unlucky Break

CHAPTER THREE - Mr. Monk and the Reunion

CHAPTER FOUR - Mr. Monk Can’t Decide

CHAPTER FIVE - Mr. Monk’s Assistant Takes a Trip

CHAPTER SIX - Mr. Monk’s Assistant Makes a Discovery

CHAPTER SEVEN - Mr. Monk Takes the Case

CHAPTER EIGHT - Mr. Monk and the Long Drive

CHAPTER NINE - Mr. Monk and the Fly

CHAPTER TEN - Mr. Monk Had a Little Lamb

CHAPTER ELEVEN - Mr. Monk Takes the Case

CHAPTER TWELVE - Mr. Monk and the Brooch

CHAPTER THIRTEEN - Mr. Monk Finds the Holes


CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Mr. Monk Takes a Breath

CHAPTER SIXTEEN - Mr. Monk Goes to the Beach

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - Mr. Monk and the Other Shoe

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - Mr. Monk Goes to Church

CHAPTER NINETEEN - Mr. Monk Hears a Confession

CHAPTER TWENTY - Mr. Monk Goes to the Orthodontist

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - Mr. Monk and the Autopsy

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - Mr. Monk and the Man Who Wasn’t Himself

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse


CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - Mr. Monk and the Big Arrest

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - Mr. Monk Loses an Assistant

CHAPTER TWENTY- SEVEN - Mr. Monk and the Jailbirds

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - Mr. Monk and the Third Summation

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - Mr. Monk and the Happy Ending

The Monk Series

Mr. Monk and the Blue Flu

Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii

Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse

New American Library

Published by New American Library, a division of

Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street,

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Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices:

80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

First published by New American Library,

a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

First Printing, July 2007

Copyright © 2007 Universal Studios Licensing LLLP. Monk © USA Cable Entertainment LLC. All Rights Reserved



Goldberg, Lee, 1962-

Mr. Monk and the two assistants/Lee Goldberg.

p. cm.

eISBN : 978-1-436-23696-6

1. Private investigators—Fiction. 2. Eccentrics and eccentricities—Fiction. 3. Psychics—Fiction. I. Monk (Television program) II. Title. III. Title: Mr. Monk and the two assistants.

PS3557.O3577M725 2007

813’.54—dc22 2006102819

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

To Valerie and Madison, who keep me (relatively) sane


I would like to thank Dr. D. P. Lyle, William Rabkin, Pat Tierney, Sarah Bewley, Ivan Van Laningham, Rhys Bowen, Bob Morris, William Tapply, Carol Schmidt, Peggy Burdick, Mark Murphy, Annette Mahon, Mary Ellen Hughes, Alex Brett, Jack Quick, Robert Thompson and Anne Tomlin for their technical assistance on a variety of murderous topics. Any mistakes or factual liberties are my fault and not theirs, though I suppose they could be accused of aiding and abetting my crimes.

Special thanks to Kerry Donovan, Gina Maccoby, Stefanie Preston and most of all Andy Breckman, the creator of Adrian Monk, for their incredible support and encouragement.

While I try as best I can to stay true to the continuity of the TV series, it’s not always possible, given the long lead time between when my books are written and when they are published. During that period, new episodes may air that contradict details or situations referred to in my books. If you come across any such continuity mismatches, your understanding is appreciated.

I would love to hear from you. Stop by www.leegoldberg.comand say hello. Remember to floss twenty times daily.


Mr. Monk Gets His Kicks

My name is Natalie Teeger. I’m an honest-to-goodness soccer mom and proud of it. My twelve-year-old daughter, Julie, plays defense on the Slammers in the all-girl league. The kids get together at Dolores Park for practices on Saturdays and games on Sundays.

On this particular Sunday, my boss, Adrian Monk, the legendary detective, was with us at the game. He was too restless to stay at home. For the past couple days, he’d been investigating the brutal beating death of the reviled E. L. Lancaster, who ran the mortgage division of a San Francisco bank.

Lancaster was disliked by just about everyone he’d ever met. He’d even foreclosed on his parents’ home when his father, slipping into senility, missed a couple mortgage payments.

I’m not kidding. Lancaster was that lovable.

The only clue Monk had to work with was a confusing cluster of overlapping bloody footprints belonging to the

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