Jase by Fields, J. (ebook reader browser TXT) 📕

“Continue,” I yawned.

“Excuse me?”

“Continue, not start,” I kissed his chest, “Goodnight Jase.”

“Falling asleep, still falling for you,” he kissed the top of my head.

~

I woke in the morning covered up all snuggly. I smiled as I sat up and stretched.

I looked across the room and Jase was sitting fully dressed in a chair.

“Good morning Jase, whatcha doing all the way over there?” I patted the bed, “Get over here,” and then I flashed him.

He looked up and sat back, “Carly, something happened and I need to leave in a few minutes.”

I stood up and wrapped the blanket around me and shuffled towards him, “What happ…” and I fell.

“Jesus Christ Carly-- would you be more careful?” He caught me and stood me back up.

“I am sorry I just, Jase what’s going on?”

“My ex’s father died, I need to go,” Jase stood and grabbed his bag and turned towards the door.

I grabbed his arm, “Are you okay?”

“No Carly I’m not okay. Listen, we can’t do this anymore, okay?”

I felt my heart begin to race, “Hold on Jase-- I really don’t understand, could you just talk to me for a few…”

“I have to go. This should have ended in Jersey. It was a summer fling, really--not even a fling,” he looked at me.

I felt tears welling in my eyes and I swallowed hard, “That’s not what it is Jase.”

“Look I don’t want to end this badly. I didn’t expect to have to leave Carly, and I…”

“Jase just call me when you are not so stressed out okay? I’m sorry this happened.”

“Look things have just changed, my entire life has just changed. Just leave it alone, and be happy you still have your virginity,” Jase could not even look in my eyes. I swallowed hard and went to turn away, “Wait!”

I could not look at him, I could not or I would cry, “What is it, Jase?”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Okay, no big deal. I’m going to pack. Do you need a ride to the airport?”

“No I called a cab. You can stay here, the room is paid…”

I walked away. Stay here? Yeah that’s what I wanted to do.

“Damn it look at me,” Jase grabbed my arm and tried to turn me around.

“Don’t,” I pulled my arm away, “Just don’t.”

His phone chimed and he grabbed it from his pocket, “My cab is here.”

“Have a nice flight, Jase,” I grabbed my bag and walked into the bathroom

As I was throwing my clothes in my bag I felt him grab my arm and pull me towards him. I closed my eyes and he hugged me tightly, “I didn’t expect this okay? I’m sorry.” I kept my head down. I didn’t want him to see me, and I didn’t want to see him.

“It’s okay, just go.”

“Carly,” he lifted my chin and kissed me softly, “I truly am sorry.”

“I said it was okay,” my voice snagged on the jagged pieces in my throat that had risen from the empty space my heart use to fill.

“If we just had more time I’d explain why this will never work.”

I cleared my throat and it burned, “What do you want from me?”

“To not be hurt, to know I did not hurt you. I…”

I stepped back and forced a smile, “You got it, I’ll be…I am fine. Go you’ll miss your flight.”

He cupped my chin and kissed me again. I could not hold back the tears anymore, “Damn it don’t do that.”

“Leave! Just leave!” He looked surprised which pissed me off, “What am I supposed to be happy? This is fucked up. I really just wish you hadn’t come at all. There you have it. Is that what you are waiting for me to be pissed Jase? Do you want me to hit you like she did? I am not her! Just go!”

His eyes widened, “I never said you were…”

“No but that’s what you want. You are right-- we are nothing alike. It would never work. Thanks for the orgasms and you’re welcome for the FUCKING BLOW JOB!”

I grabbed my stuff and threw on a pair of shorts and started walking to the door.

“Carly, you aren’t even dressed,” he scowled slightly.

“Close enough. Goodbye Jase.”

I slammed the door and all but ran to the elevator, hoping I wouldn’t have to share one with him. I rode down, thankful that I was alone.

I put my coat on and pulled the hood over my head.

I walked quickly from the elevator to the parking garage.

And I sat in my car and cried.

4

Thankfully Mom wasn’t home when I got to the house. I parked the car and walked in. I looked at the clock for the first time: it was only seven in the morning. Mom was at the gym as she always was on Friday mornings before her first class.

I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror… it was still me. Still me, without Jase. Seriously get a grip, what did you think? You will not be a weak needy girl—you’ll be strong! You will be fine! Jase will be fine. He didn’t look like he would be fine, or was that just what I wanted to see? I should call him, just to see if he was sure that …

“Get a grip girl!” I said to myself in the mirror. I looked at my shirt, Forever Steel. Jase had put it on me last night. You will not be able to walk or think about anyone else until I see you again. Well he was wrong, I could walk-- that’s the first step. I laughed at myself and took the shirt off and threw it in the laundry basket and stepped into the shower.

The shower is a great place to think. I cleaned away all the remnants of his hands and his mouth. That was easy, now to get rid of the pictures in my mind. I stepped out of the shower and dried off. On a normal day, a day that my heart did not