Jase by Fields, J. (ebook reader browser TXT) 📕

hurt, and that I felt happy and desired I would be going to meet Mom and Mimi for breakfast before my first class. Today was not a normal day. Instead of waking up to Good Morning Baby, I woke up to goodbye. I truly wanted to know that he was alright. And my heart went out to Pam and her family. I’m not a cold person, it was sad. I would not allow myself to be pissed at Pam for needing Jase, or Jase for needing to be there for her. That’s catty and cruel, and I may be many things but I wouldn’t be that. I also was not going to be a crying mess-- that was not going to happen. My Momma raised me better. So even though it’s not a normal day… it could be worse.

Carpe Diem was going to be my motto. Odd how my new light came from Pam’s loss of her father and my loss of Jase, but oh well. At least it came. I scrolled through my tunes wanting to add a mantra to go along with my new motto. I went to iTunes and downloaded some Kelly Clarkson, and then some Pink. I made a playlist to my iTunes. I sat on my bed and Googled Carpe Diem and then clicked on the Good Reads link. A wealth of information at my fingertips.

I listened to the music as I dressed. I looked at the clock and realized I could still make it to breakfast and I decided to do just that. I could kill two birds with one stone. I could tell Mom and Mimi what happened and Mom would be there to keep Mimi in check. Then I would go to class, and act as if none of this had happened. I would definitely be strong.

~

I walked into my Mom’s office and she and Mimi both leaned to look past me. I smiled, “He is not here.”

“Oh, well what a pleasant surprise,” my Mom stood and hugged me. “How long do we have you before you return to Jase?”

“Well, he left this morning.”

“Why what happened, are you okay Carly?” My Mom looked me all over.

“What the hell did he do to you?” Mimi jumped from her chair,

“He got a call and had to go back, no big deal.” I smiled and walked to the book shelf.

The room was quiet I stood and looked through Mom’s bookshelf, there was always something new, and I needed something new.

“Carly, come on… sit down.”

“Mom, it really isn’t a big deal. His ex-girlfriend’s father died, so he had to go back.”

“So then things are still okay?” My mother took my hand and sat me on the couch next to her.

“Yeah,” I looked up at her and she looked so uneasy. I could not lie to her, “No, but I will be alright Mom.”

“So he fucked you and left?”

“No Mimi, we didn’t…”

“So the asshole came all the way here, met us, didn’t fuck you, and what? Decided …”

“I don’t think he planned it Mimi,” my mother shot her a look.

“It’s over, but I’m okay,” I hoped the conversation would stop.

“So is he back together with her, did you tell him if he left it was over?”

“Mimi, he said it wouldn’t work out. He had a flight to catch. He was sorry,” I looked at my mom.

“She’s fine Mimi, she’ll be just fine,” Mom hugged me.

“I’m going to head to class,” I smiled and kissed my mom quickly on the cheek, hugged Mimi and left.

~

I sat in Bio lab and Brad walked in and sat beside me.

“You have a good time with your boyfriend?” he plopped his book on the black granite lab table.

“Yes, thank you,” I smiled to be polite.

“Cool. Weird you have never mentioned a boyfriend before.”

“Well, to be honest… we really don’t discuss our personal lives now do we?” I know it sounded bitchy, I really had not meant it to, so I smiled and looked up.

“Actually Carly, we have. Your Mother teaches here, your brother lives in Jersey with your father, whose girlfriend you hate. You are still not sure if you want to go into medical research or literature. You have no pets, the only hobby you have is going to the gym with your mom. You hang out with your mother, her friend Professor Enwomb, and no one else. You’re witty and incredibly smart.”

I looked at him showing no emotion. I would probably cry if I did, and quickly looked away. I looked up as the PA walked in to give us instructions. As soon as he was done I grabbed my things and walked quickly out the door, out of the building, across the yard, and to my car. I drove home fighting tears the whole way. I would not be weak. I would not cry. I would not wonder why he would go to her and leave me, or if the things he said were what he really meant. I would not…after tomorrow. Today I would crawl in bed and cry. Confused and missing Jase. I would cry into my pillow not to any girlfriend because as Brad had pointed out, I had none.

I was in bed when the doorbell rang. I threw on a pair of old sweat pants and threw my hair up into a very sloppy bun. I walked out and opened the door.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Brad stood in the door with a brown paper bag in one hand and my phone in the other. Not really my phone, it was the one Jase had sent me, so that we could talk and text on the same plan. He didn’t want my mother to carry the financial burden of an obnoxious phone bill because he felt the need to contact me throughout the day, just can’t stay away from you Carly, this is the next best thing.

“Can I come in?” Brad smiled and I stepped to the side allowing him in. “Your boyfriend