Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

Becca walks back to her car to call Eli. I sit here and try to make sense of everything. I want to know why Jackson did what he did. I want to know why he took it out on me. I want to know what I did that was so wrong to him that he felt the need to hurt me like this. Nothing comes to mind. Broken. I am broken is the only thing I can think of right now. I am broken. I can’t take the pain I’m feeling anymore so I pick up another piece of glass and start cutting.

“Sina, please stop,” Becca cries. She puts her hands on mine to stop me from cutting.

“Becca, please I need to numb myself” I sob.

She cries harder and says “No. I will not sit here and watch you hurt yourself. I’m sorry that it happened. I’m sorry that you can’t catch a fucking break. I’m sorry for being late. If I would have left my parent’s house earlier, I would’ve been here sooner.” I can feel the glass digging into my skin, I try to move my hand but all I hear are voices and car doors slamming.

“Oh my God.”

“Leila, she’s bleeding but I don’t know where it’s coming from. I can’t move her because I’m not sure if anything’s broken” Becca says.

“Sina sweetie, I need you to tell me where it hurts the most?” Leila asks.

I can’t hold in my tears and hide my pain anymore. “My heart” I wail.

“Where is she?”

Leila moves and yells “Over here. Reese, she needs to go to the hospital.”

I start shaking my head no. “No hospital.”

Becca moves my hair out of my face and says “You have to let go of the piece of glass Sina. Please. You’re already hurting. Please Sina.” I can feel the piece of glass cutting into the palm of my hand and it makes the pain in my heart hurt less.

“What the fuck?” Reese shouts.

Becca moves out of the way so he can check on me. “Hey pretty girl” Reese says sadly. I cry harder. He holds on to me until the one person who I am too ashamed to look at is kneeling in front of me. I don’t want him to see my face, and I don’t want him to touch me because I am damaged. He doesn’t deserve the ugly parts of me, he deserves beautiful and that isn’t me. Eli reaches for my hands and I flinch.

“Eli, she has a piece of broken glass in her hand” Becca cries.

“I called Luka and Daniel, they’re on their way,” Reese says.

“She has to go to the hospital right now, she doesn’t look good,” Leila cries. I hate that I am hurting them, I hate that they are crying for me. I don’t want them to see me like this, but I need someone to save me.

“Talk to her Eli,” Reese says.

I can’t look Eli in the eye. I can feel his heart breaking because mine is too. I’ve been trying to keep myself above water, but this time I can’t. I’m drowning and I’m not sure how to save myself anymore.

“Sina, it’s me,” Eli says. More tears run down my face. He slowly reaches for my hands and this time I don’t flinch. None of them have seen my face yet, as much as i don’t want them to see me like this, I have no choice. Eli takes my chin with two of his fingers and gently moves my head so he can see my face. I close my eyes before I can see him.

“Oh my God!” Leila and Becca cry.

“Fuck!” I hear something break.

“Reese stop! You punching out the window isn’t helping any” Leila shouts.

“Why would someone do this?” Becca says. I try shutting every single sound out, but I can’t shut out the sound of Eli’s breathing.

“Sina.” Eli says. He clears his throat several times and I know he’s having a hard time trying to keep his emotions in check.

“Eli, we have to take her to the hospital now or we’ll have to call the police. She doesn’t look good” Becca says. I know both Leila and Becca are worried, but I also know that Eli and Reese are waiting for my brothers to show up before they take me anywhere.

“Baby. Please look at me.” I slowly shake my head in refusal. I want this feeling to go away so I try cutting through my skin again.

“Sina please stop.” But I don’t want to stop, I want to feel a different kind of pain. I can hear Leila and Becca crying and then I hear car doors slam.

“Where is she?” Luka asks.

“Don’t move her man, she doesn’t look good” Reese says. I can feel Luka and Daniel crouch down next to me.

“What the fuck? Who did this Sina?” Daniel asks.

“Where the fuck were you?” Luka shouts at Eli.

“He was looking for her, Luka, don’t put this on him man” Reese says putting Luka in his place.

“Uso not right now. We have to get her to the fucking hospital first, then we’ll fucking find out who did this to her” Daniel says calmly. I want to tell them that Jackson isn’t worth it, but I know it won’t matter.

“Mama’s going to have to make different arrangements for the funeral. There’s no fucking way that we can have it without Sina there” Luka says. The rain gets heavier and the wind is picking up. “What the fuck are we going to tell Mama?” His voice cracks.

“We need to take her now you guys, she’s bleeding and we don’t know if she’s bleeding anywhere else” Leila says. I start to panic. I push the glass down deeper and start to cut but Eli covers my hands with his.

“Don’t do this,” he begs. I can feel the glass cut deeper and I hear Luka crying.

“Sis, please. We can’t lose you too.” The ache in my chest is so painful that I can’t stop the