Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

fucking leave me?” he seethes. I don’t say anything, and he doesn't take my silence well. His fist hits me again, this time in my ribs.

“Please , please stop!” I plead.

“I heard Hunter got you pregnant. You let him come inside of you Sina? Did you fucking like it when he fucked you?” he spits in face.

I try shaking my head, but he’s already out of the car. I try locking the door but he’s too fast. The door flies open and he grabs me by the hair and drags me out of the car, throwing me on the ground. I can feel my face swelling up but I’m too scared to move. Jackson lifts me by the hair, and tosses me against the car. He clasps his hand around my throat and hisses, “I’m going to fuck you so hard that Hunter won’t want you when he finds out that I tore your pussy up, and I mean that literally.”

I knee him in the balls and he lets go of me for a quick second. I try running but he seizes my leg and pulls me to the ground. I put my hands out to break my fall but I’m too slow. I go down face first and I hit the ground hard. Black dots blur my vision and I see Jackson is back on his feet already. I try to crawl away from him, but he kicks me in the stomach.

“Please, stop,” I whimper. Breathing hurts, my ears are ringing and my vision is swimming.

He grabs my hair and his face is so close I can smell the alcohol on his breath. “I’m crazy about you Sina” he says. He tries to kiss me but I turn my face away. He sits on top of me and I try everything I can to get him off of me, but it’s pointless because he weighed more than I did and my arms and legs won't cooperate with me anymore. He hits my face again and starts to pull at my jeans.

“Please stop! I’m sorry that I left Jackson” I cry out. “I was scared and ashamed so I left. Please, don’t do this Jackson” I beg.

But he doesn’t stop. I hear him taking his belt off before he unzips his pants. I won’t let him do this to me again, I was young and innocent eight years ago and I didn’t know what to do. I’m not that same little girl anymore and I have my own little girl to think about. ‘m not going to allow him to break me again. Everything is hurting, but I know I have to fight, even if it kills me.

He tears my panties off and I feel the intrusion of his finger inside me. “Get off me” I scream. I start kicking my legs, scratching him as I scream, needing someone to hear me.

“You’re so fucking wet baby” he moans in my ear like a deluded psychopath. I can feel him getting hard and I fight with renewed vigour. He tries to spread my legs, but I battle against him. I try to force him off of me but he hits me again, harder than the other hits and all I see is darkness as my vision cuts out completely.

I’m not sure how long I was out, but when I wake up I feel sore everywhere. I try moving, but the pain between my legs is unbearable. My heart breaks. I know he’s raped me again and all I can do is curl up into a ball and cry. I feel dirty , worthless and ugly. He raped me and left me here like I’m just a piece of trash. Moving is painful, but I have to get my jeans back on. I’m ashamed, I’m hurt, and all I wanted to do is numb the pain. I reach for my jeans and struggle to slide them on.

I need to get rid of this pain. I am exhausted. I can feel that my face is swollen, but I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to die, but I need to numb the pain. I can’t get on my feet so I try to crawl back to the truck. I feel a piece of glass in the mud and I know what I need to do to ease the pain. I pull my sleeve up and all my scars mock me.

You’re too weak Sina.

The only way you can numb the pain is by hurting yourself Sina .

The voices in my head are so loud that I can’t even hear my heartbeat.

Before I can cut myself someone takes the piece of glass away from me and wrap their arms around me. “I got you Sina.” I know who the voice belongs to, but I’m not sure if this is real. Maybe it’s all in my head, maybe I wanted to be saved so badly that my brain is making me think that someone is actually here with me.

“Who did this to you?” the voice asks.

My eyes are heavy and I’m tired but I want to know if she’s really here or not.

“Becca?” I whisper.

She holds me tighter. “Yes Sweetie, I’m here and I won’t let you go Sina, just please stay with me okay?” she cries. I don’t have the energy to respond so I just sit there. “Can you move Sina?” she asks

“It hurts,” I cry.

“I need you to move Sina. You need to go to the hospital” she says. I shake my head at her, no hospital. People will find out if I go there. She sighs and says “Okay. I’m going to lean you against the truck. I have to call Eli, Sina. I know you don’t want me to, but he has to know.”

Whatever piece I had left of myself completely shatters. I am too dirty. I am ashamed. He deserves someone that isn’t broken. I try telling her not to call him, but I can’t find my voice.