The Two Confessions by John Whitbourn (good books to read for adults .TXT) 📕

Samuel, but never for one moment think our care for you could besevered by a birthday.’

Sothat was it. All the family he'd even known or wanted had acquiesced to hisradical plans. He'd steeled himself to do it but, thank God, there'd be nofinal rupture. Despond was replaced by elation.

‘Ifyou forgive me,’ Trevan blurted out, ‘then I have all I want!’

Thepriest frowned, unable to prevent it.

‘Notall, surely?’ he said quietly. ‘You only go to London in hope ofprocuring what you do not have – and what a Lewes barrel-maker can never have.’

Itneeded no elaboration. He spoke unmistakably of Miss Melissa Farncombe. Thepast year had been dominated by Samuel's stormy courtship of her - and searedby the lightning it produced. Not that he had disgraced himself, insteadproceeding like the gentleman he wasn’t with 'chance' meetings and the mostdecorous of letters. Even so, the air between Cliffe and Southover turnedsulphurous when Mr Farncombe found out. Father Omar had aborted talk of 'horsewhipping'or the stocks: he had that much influence in the town. Nevertheless, the priceof peace was a strict cordon separating Samuel and Southover.

Beinga dutiful son of St Philip's - for a little longer - Trevan had complied withevery term imposed. A promise to Father Omar was like a bargain with the Deityhe represented. But both parties knew that this was just a cease-fire, apostponement of the struggle rather than defeat. The boy was quite open aboutit: the campaign would continue as soon as he was free and a man - and afreeman.

Samueldeclined to discuss the painful subject. That ambition was forever bubbling upinside him, just below the surface, close to boiling over. Thoughts of itprompted his next question.

‘So,do I get my file?’

Itwas the usual practice, though at their discretion, for the Orphanage to offertheir parentage records (if any) to children leaving its custody. A surprisingnumber spurned the chance, wisely passing up on the usual sad litany ofaccident, bastardy and abandonment. Unlike them, Samuel thought he could takeit. And besides, there was always the outside chance of some favourablecircumstance of birth - admittedly gone horribly wrong - being revealed. Thatmight assist him in his great project.

FatherOmar crushed the suggestion with finality absent from his previous strictures.The answer came out in unadorned English.

‘No.You do not. It should not matter to you. Where you are going people are ascareless of backgrounds as you have hitherto been. I shall pray that thatremains the only similarity between Samuel Trevan and London life.’

U[U[U[U[U[U[U

cHAPTER 7

'... if you are reading these words and have not so far transformedyourself as to forget my instructions, I must assume that you have remainedobdurate and are now in London. I send you greetings - and my fears. I fearthat life has equipped you all too well to survive. Your strength of brawn andbrain may tempt you to the straightest routes. Recall that straight routes arequickest but oft cross other persons' property. Do not trample that which is inthe way merely because you can.

I am mindful that your leaving bounty is inadequate. In Lewes it wouldhave been your start and sufficient; but in the big city where you are alone,£20 is a razor-breadth from poverty. I would not have you resort to crime. Ihave little enough but need even less. In my sinful selfishness I desired toretain sufficient to purchase my obit Masses for when I am gone from here. Butno, you shall have it all and my remembrance shall be your duty. Herein is apromissory note drawn on an Arundel goldsmith, now amended in your favour. Ibelieve you may redeem or invest it with a Hebrew merchant, of which, it issaid, there are many in London Town. Alternatively, a Church Bank couldsafeguard this sum but you would not, of course, earn interest. Recall Matthew,25:14, the parable of the talents.

My grandfather came from Egypt, the land, as you would recall if youpaid attention to your geography lessons, of the Mameluke-Caliph. However,there were rulers there long, long before them, called 'Pharaohs'. They arementioned in Scripture. This was right at the beginning of time, soon afterCreation and the Fall; before Christ but after Babel. Consequently, theirscript is strange although scholars have translated some of it. Thus myfather's father could tell me of a blessing of theirs that he saw, painted on atomb wall even before Abraham left Ur at the command of the Almighty. It hadlingered and waited patiently through all human history for me to repeat to younow – because I feel it is apposite to your situation:

 

'May G*d be between you and harm in all the empty places you walk.'

 

To the greater glory of G*d, from Omar Abdalhaqq ibn J'nna.

St Philip Howard's Foundlings Refuge, Cliffe, Lewes, Sussex.

The 23rd day of June, The Year of Our Salvation 1989.

Onehundred and twenty-seven pounds! One hundred! And twenty-seven! Pounds!

Itwas a fortune - and yet not enough. He could buy his way into a decent Guildapprenticeship with it and look forward to a settled, fairly well-off, life.Employing hard haggling he might even acquire a little shop... or something.

Samuelwas both glad - and not. This was the antidote to starvation - but at the sametime his doom. The temptations to mediocrity and compromise were back again,powerfully reinforced. He'd retained a strong grasp on his ambitions, for allthat fear and hunger were stamping on his fingertips. It helped that there waslittle alternative - but now....

‘Maythe Lord keep you, Father Omar,’ Samuel whispered, ‘and also forgive myingratitude.’

Hewas in the right place to say such things, having come into a church to readthe letter. The workers' hostel which had been draining the last of his pennieswas too much a madhouse of noise for serious reading or thought or anything.

Theabsence of a mother figure meant many of St Philip's inmates developed a strongdevotion to Mary. Samuel didn't go so far as some, but neither was he immune.Sighting a 'Our Lady of Flowers' image, ablaze in candlelight, he was reminded.He offered up to her his sore feet, dirty clothes and empty belly - and a vow.

‘It'slike this!’ Samuel stated, setting the Universe straight. ‘When Omargoes,