Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

the feeling of loss aside and sucked in a few deep but subtle breaths. When I hoped I had gathered up enough courage, I spoke.

"Come here. Lean against me."

For a few seconds he tensed, and I held my breath, trying to still my galloping heart. My mind kicked into overdrive and the thoughts swirled around so fast it made me lightheaded. What was he thinking? Was I taking it too far? Did this place me in the crazy-fan-category?

He shifted, but I still didn't dare to breathe. Then, to my horror, it occurred to me that he could’ve misinterpreted my intentions and I rushed to explain.

"I didn't mean anythin' weird," I blurted. "Just—" My voice died a quick death as he straightened his body, and turned to look at me. I gulped. "You can rest a bit, at least. Without puttin' pressure on the back."

A shadow of a smile went over his face, and his dark eyes locked on mine, seeming to ask—are you ok with that. I smiled. If he only knew how ok I was. The mere thought of holding him, sort of . . . made my head spin with delight.

He inched closer, carefully leaning back against me.

I swallowed down a huge lump of nervousness, forcing myself to speak. "Maybe . . . maybe you could scoot down a bit."

He chuckled at my nervousness. Then doing as I requested, he slid down so his head was in height with mine and his shoulder no longer pressing against my chest. In this position it was natural for me to sling an arm around his shoulders.

Johnny sighed, relaxing against me, and I wished I could do the same.

My heart pounded in my chest, and I was sure he could feel it, maybe even hear it. His bare skin burned against my body and for what felt like the hundredth time, I questioned reality. Things like this didn't happen to people like me. Only in my dreams had I imagined it, more times than I felt comfortable admitting. But this was, as far as I could tell not a dream. It was real. I was really here. Johnny Grey was really here, in my arms.

“It feels good." His voice brought me back to reality and I couldn’t help but smile in amazement.

"Yeah." I could only agree. It was more than good. It was enough to make me consider religion. If there was a God, maybe this was his way of showing off his skills? No other explanation presented itself to me, and I wasn't sure I liked the idea of being a pawn in the big guy's games any more than I liked muddy pastures on a rainy day. But no matter the reasons, I couldn’t have asked for more.

Allowing the soft crackling of the fire to calm me, I combed my fingers through his hair, once in a while letting them continue down to his neck and shoulder and back up again.

Johnny let out a soft moan, sending shivers through me.

I continued the caressing. This time adding a bit of strength and rhythm into the motion, making it more of a massage than a light brush.

"That feels so good," he murmured. "Better than aspirin,” he added in a sleepy voice.

“They were like ten years old,” I said, and his low chuckle made me smile.

“How long will you stay here?” I asked.

It took a while until he replied, and the answer was unexpected.

“Forever.”

The sadness in his voice caught me off guard and I wasn’t sure how to reply.

“You don’t wanna go back.” I stated the obvious.

“I don’t,” he sighed.

“Why?” The little part of me which was still curious about the notes I had seen, couldn’t help but fish for answers.

“Just . . .” He didn't finish the sentence, and I knew I wasn’t going to get more information than that.

“You don’t have to tell me,” I said. “But I’m a good listener.”

“I’ll remember that.”

I must’ve dozed off because Johnny's head suddenly rested on my shoulder, his messy hair tickling my face. Nuzzling my face closer to his, I couldn't resist placing a kiss on the top of his head.

"You're not like the other girls, are you?" He murmured so low that at first, I wasn't sure he’d spoken at all.

"What do you mean?"

There was a long silence before he finally he spoke. "You're real."

"Not like the Hollywood girls?” I asked, and he chuckled.

"Kinda like that."

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

“A fucking good thing.”

The words slipped past my lips before I could stop them. “I doubt your girlfriend would be happy to hear that.”

Johnny tensed, and I held my breath, praying I hadn’t ruined the moment by making stupid comments.

“Pretty sure you know I don't have one.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. He was right. Before I had time to speak and embarrass myself further, he threw the question right back at me.

“What about you? Anyboyfriend waiting at home?”

My breath hitched in my throat. It was an innocent question, so why did it feel like he’d just asked me out on a date? Don’t be ridiculous, my inner voice snapped. “No,” I managed to whisper. “I’m not really known to have that kinda luck with the boys.” I added. “They’re all dicks.”

Johnny chuckled. “I feel ya.” He shifted, letting an arm fall onto my lap, then he yawned.

“You’re special, Bree.”

I was at a loss for words. If Johnny thought I was special, I sure as hell wasn't going to correct him. But really, what was I? A poor country girl who didn’t know much about the world. That wasn't special, was it?

"Try to sleep," I said instead. "You'll feel better in the mornin’.”

"I already do."

I could barely hear him above the sounds of the storm, but his words made me smile a small tired smile. I let out a soft sigh, deciding to head back to the beach first thing in the morning. Resting my head against his, I imagined finding the silver watch in the sand, then I closed my eyes