Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

they get along so well but they do.” I smiled at the thought. “Lissa, my sister, takes after her dad, she’s a mess. She can’t remember anythin’ and she has worse organizing skills than you do.” The words slipped through my lips before I could stop them. I held my breath.

“I doubt that’s a compliment.”

I winced. “Not really.”

He actually chuckled then, and I relaxed.

“You live together, all of you?”

My cheeks turned red. Did he think it was weird? That I was too old to live with my whole family? Sure, he was right. But where would I go? I didn’t know anyone in the States. I’d never made friends in school, and once I’d been done with school, I worked on the farm. There had never been anyone I’d wanted to move in with, and I was sure I’d never get to that point in any relationship. My trust issues and high expectations were excellent guy-repellants. Finding someone who was worth my time was difficult. I’d tried and failed, too many times to want to get back on the horse again. It wasn’t that I was scared of love. The hopeless romantic in me loved love. I just preferred watching from a distance. It was less complicated, and minimized the risk of being disappointed or let down. My love life had been non-existent since Adam had embarrassed me in front of the class in Kenville high. The only thing he’d ever wanted from me was to get into my pants. I could still remember his mates’ laughter as he’d dumped me the next day.

Getting involved with anyone else simply hadn’t been worth the effort. I’d never wanted to put my heart on the line again. I’d learned from my mistake, and wasn’t ready to repeat it.

Besides, the only people in this world who I felt comfortable and at home with was my family and the farmhands. If people considered me weird, I didn’t want to know, I just wanted to be happy.

“Yeah. It’s a big house, it ain’t like we’re in each other’s face all the time.” The need to defend myself was strong, even though he hadn’t said anything. The feeling of being judged made me cringe. A grown-up girl living with her mom and sister . . .

“I’ve always wanted that.”

The words were just a murmur, and I wasn’t sure they’d been meant for me to hear.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Just . . . it sounds lovely.”

“What about your family? Where are they? They must be proud of you.”

He clenched his jaw, squeezing his eyes shut before looking away. The small shake of his head and his sudden tense posture made me regret asking. I’d never read anything about his family, never seen any pictures of him with a mom or a dad. Never heard him mention any family member at all.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to . . . Did I say something wrong?”

“No, just . . . prefer not to talk about that.”

“It’s ok,” I said. “No talk about family. Got it.”

He flashed me a smile—hundred percent fake—but sexy as hell.

“Do you ever see him? Your dad I mean?” Johnny surprised me by asking.

“Not as often as I’d like,” I admitted. “I was a daddy’s girl growing up. I adored him. Now I only see him on Christmas, if I’m lucky.”

A silence fell over us and I took the opportunity to let my mind wander back to Ireland.

“You are lucky,” Johnny murmured. “You have no idea.”

“But you’re not?”

He raised an eyebrow, silently reminding me about my promise.

“Right, sorry,” I breathed.

I studied him in silence, not knowing what else I could say.

“Not at all,” he whispered at last, once again surprising me with the honesty.

The sudden urge to reach out and hug him was hard to ignore. If this topic didn't change, fast, I wasn't sure I’d be able to resist. Not when he looked so sad. Grasping at the only thing that came to my mind, I asked, "Does it hurt much?" I gestured to the wound in his temple. It had stopped bleeding, leaving him with a headache that long-expired aspirins hadn’t been able to rid him of.

"It's not that bad," he said, and I was sure he was lying.

He sat forward leaning, his elbows on his thighs, and his chin resting in his hands. Despite his efforts to appear unaffected, I could see straight through him.

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can get you?” I asked, still not able to understand the fact that he hadn’t brought any supplies when coming here. From the notes I’d seen, the trip had been a desperate attempt of escaping reality, but heading into a storm with nothing else than the clothes you were wearing didn't make sense in my well-organized mind. If it had been me, I would have brought half the pharmacy, just in case.

Shaking my head at the stupidity, I leaned back against the pillows. Wriggling around to sit comfortably, the idea came to me like a light bulb switched on in the dark. That little 'ding' as the thought popped into my mind made me smile in triumph. But then just as fast, I discarded the idea. There was no way I would be able to pull such a thing off without making a fool out of myself by passing out or showing any other act of indecency.

My arm reached out for him despite my mind screaming at me to stop. My hand landed on his still bare back. My eyes flickered to my wrist and widened. A gasp slipped through my lips as I suddenly realized it was empty. I’d been too distracted to notice the missing watch, and the sudden discovery filled me with dread, momentarily stealing my attention away from Johnny.

"No.” His voice brought me back to the moment, and it took too long for my mind to connect his words to the question I’d asked him earlier.

”I’m fine.”

I didn't reply. Instead, I pushed