On a Roll by Beth Bolden (best historical biographies TXT) 📕

think anyone on this planet imagines that you don’t have feelings,” Ren said matter-of-factly. “You’re kind of the King of Feelings.”

“That is . . .”

“One hundred percent accurate. Yes, I know, you can thank Cousin Ren for being such an expert on your tortured psyche.”

“I really hate you too, now,” Gabriel grumbled. “You can’t even spare an ounce of sympathy. I’m dying here.”

“Like I said,” Ren repeated, “the King of Feelings. Is it any wonder that Sean wanted to be honest about it being just sex? You’re the kind of guy who’s gonna be holding a boom box under his bedroom window two weeks in.”

“I have never done that,” Gabriel argued.

“But you could. You would.”

Gabe hated that his cousin was right. He might. After all, he’d been obsessed with Sean since day one. It would have been so easy to just change the name on his truck, after all. He had it all ready to go. He’d just held off because . . . well, because that might change things. And as frustrating as the status quo could be sometimes, at least he knew what it was like.

At least it meant that Sean paid attention to him.

If they didn’t have any reason to argue anymore, that would go right out the window.

He wasn’t proud of his prevaricating, but it was working, wasn’t it? Sean had finally been honest with him. Maybe it wasn’t the kind of honesty he’d been expecting. Maybe he hadn’t been expecting Sean to still be mourning the dead love of his life, but Gabriel was the first person he’d told.

Maybe over time he could wear Sean down. Make him see that they could be good for more than just sex.

“All I’m saying,” Ren continued, “is that if the guy wants to get naked with you, what kind of idiot would you be to turn him down? He’s hot, and honestly I’ve only kept my hands off, because well, you’re all tangled up about him.”

“That hasn’t changed,” Gabriel reminded his cousin pointedly.

“Yeah, I know,” Ren retorted, throwing a wicked smile over this shoulder. “It’s gotten worse.”

“So you think I should just . . . let him fuck me and keep it just to fucking?”

“You don’t do this very often,” Ren said, “so I’m going to go gentle on you, but here’s the thing . . . it’s not easy to keep it just fucking. I have to work at it. I have all these rules to make sure that my hookups don’t evolve into more.”

“That’s kind of fucked up,” Gabriel said. “You realize that, right?”

Ren shrugged, clearly unconcerned that while Gabriel was the King of Feelings, he was the opposite. “It works for me. I prefer it that way, honestly. And while you’re emoting all over the place, don’t decide that you can fix me, okay? I’m not like Tony, I’m not going to meet the perfect guy for me and become a different person. Does a leopard change its spots?”

“No?” Gabriel hadn’t even considered it. His own love life was enough of a disaster, why would he try to interfere in Ren’s. “I’m not really worrying about you. You’re . . . well, you’re Ren. That’s who you are.”

“Exactly,” Ren said with a sharp nod. “But you? You want more. And you want Sean to want more, too. Best way to go about changing his mind? Get naked with him.”

“I’m really not sure that’s true,” Gabriel said. Ren was smart, and he was good at this, but he’d never tried to get someone to fall for him ever. In fact, he was unapologetic about the fact that he actively tried to do the opposite.

“Then don’t listen to me,” Ren said, throwing up his hands. “Keep arguing with him. Keep bickering and insulting him, that’s definitely worked so well for you over the last two years.”

“Hey, it got me a kiss. More than one kiss, even,” Gabriel said.

Ren rolled his eyes. “We could call that an accident of chemistry. You want something, you actually have to do something. In this case, it’s get naked, which really considering how attractive Sean is, shouldn’t exactly be a hardship.”

“It wouldn’t be,” Gabriel said. Just thinking about it made him tingle all over. “But should I really . . . lie about what I want?”

“You’re gonna have to decide if you want to play fair and get nothing, or play unfair and get everything. For me, not a decision. But then I’m brutally, bluntly honest with every single hookup. You’re gonna have to decide what’s right here, for you, and for Sean.”

“Right,” Gabriel said uncertainly. It felt wrong for him, especially after Sean had been so honest about his husband, to enter into a sexual arrangement, and hide his true intentions. Even if Sean eventually fell for him, would it make it right? Gabriel didn’t know.

He was going to have to think about it more. Figure out a way to resist if Sean showed up and tried to convince him again.

———

For better or for worse, Gabriel didn’t have to wait very long to see how Sean was going to react.

It was a slow lunch day, and an even slower afternoon.

Days like today, when they could take as many long breaks as they wanted, lounging in the sunshine and catching up on their reading or their podcasts, made up for the weekend days when even having an extra person didn’t make the endless lines any less crazy.

Ren was sitting on the picnic table just outside the food truck, browsing something on his phone. His shirt was off, and he was working on his tan. Between infrequent customers, Gabriel had amused himself by observing all the visitors to the lot do a double take at the sight of him.

Maybe Gabriel should go to the gym with Ren and Lucas more. If he took his shirt off, he definitely wouldn’t be getting that many admiring looks.

He was thinking of sending Lucas a text about when his training hours were, when a figure approaching out