The Conjure Woman by Charles W. Chesnutt (7 ebook reader .TXT) 📕

“ ‘Brer Pete,’ sezee, bimeby, ‘gimme a drink er dem bitters out’n dat green bottle on de she’f yander. I’s gwine fas’, en it’ll gimme strenk fer ter finish dis wuk.’

“Brer Pete look’ up on de mantelpiece, en he seed a bottle in de corner. It was so da’k in de cabin he couldn’ tell whe’r it wuz a green bottle er no. But he hilt de bottle ter de cunjuh man’s mouf, en he tuk a big mouff’l. He hadn’ mo’ d’n swallowed it befo’ he ’mence’ ter holler.

“ ‘You gimme de wrong bottle, Brer Pete; dis yer bottle’s got pizen in it, en I’s done fer dis time, sho’. Hol’ me up, fer de Lawd’s sake! ’tel I git th’oo turnin’ Brer Primus back.’

“So Pete hilt him up, en he kep’ on wukkin’ de roots, ’tel he got de goopher all tuk off’n Brer Primus ’cep’n’ one foot. He hadn’ got dis foot mo’ d’n half turnt back befo’ his strenk gun out enti’ely, en he drap’ de roots en fell back on de bed.

“ ‘I can’t do no mo’ fer you, Brer Primus,’ sezee, ‘but I hopes you will fergib me fer w’at harm I done you. I knows de good Lawd done fergib me, en I hope ter meet you bofe in glory. I sees de good angels waitin’ fer me up yander, wid a long w’ite robe en a starry crown, en I’m on my way ter jine ’em.’ En so de cunjuh man died, en Pete en Primus went back ter de plantation.

“De darkies all made a great ’miration w’en Primus come back. Mars Jim let on lack he didn’ b’lieve de tale de two niggers tol’; he sez Primus had runned erway, en stay’ ’tel he got ti’ed er de swamps, en den come back on him ter be fed. He tried ter ’count fer de shape er Primus’ foot by sayin’ Primus got his foot smash’, er snake-bit, er sump’n, w’iles he wuz erway, en den stayed out in de woods whar he couldn’ git it kyoed up straight, ’stidder comin’ long home whar a doctor could ’a’ ’tended ter it. But de niggers all notice’ dey marster didn’ tie Primus up, ner take on much ’ca’se de mule wuz gone. So dey ’lowed dey marster must ’a’ had his s’picions ’bout dat cunjuh man.”

My wife had listened to Julius’s recital with only a mild interest. When the old man had finished it she remarked:⁠—

“That story does not appeal to me, Uncle Julius, and is not up to your usual mark. It isn’t pathetic, it has no moral that I can discover, and I can’t see why you should tell it. In fact, it seems to me like nonsense.”

The old man looked puzzled as well as pained. He had not pleased the lady, and he did not seem to understand why.

“I’m sorry, ma’m,” he said reproachfully, “ef you doan lack dat tale. I can’t make out w’at you means by some er dem wo’ds you uses, but I’m tellin’ nuffin but de truf. Co’se I didn’ see de cunjuh man tu’n ’im back, fer I wuzn’ dere; but I be’n hearin’ de tale fer twenty-five yeahs, en I ain’ got no ’casion fer ter ’spute it. Dey’s so many things a body knows is lies, dat dey ain’ no use gwine roun’ findin’ fault wid tales dat mought des ez well be so ez not. F’ instance, dey’s a young nigger gwine ter school in town, en he come out heah de yuther day en ’lowed dat de sun stood still en de yeath turnt roun’ eve’y day on a kinder axletree. I tol’ dat young nigger ef he didn’ take hisse’f ’way wid dem lies, I’d take a buggy-trace ter ’im; fer I sees de yeath stan’in’ still all de time, en I sees de sun gwine roun’ it, en ef a man can’t b’lieve w’at ’e sees, I can’t see no use in libbin’⁠—mought ’s well die en be whar we can’t see nuffin. En ernudder thing w’at proves de tale ’bout dis ole Primus is de way he goes on ef anybody ax’ him how he come by dat club-foot. I axed ’im one day, mighty perlite en civil, en he call’ me a’ ole fool, en got so mad he ain’ spoke ter me sence. Hit’s monst’us quare. But dis is a quare worl’, anyway yer kin fix it,” concluded the old man, with a weary sigh.

“Ef you makes up yo’ min’ not ter buy dat mule, suh,” he added, as he rose to go, “I knows a man w’at’s got a good hoss he wants ter sell⁠—leas’ways dat’s w’at I heared. I’m gwine ter pra’rmeetin’ ter-night, en I’m gwine right by de man’s house, en ef you’d lack ter look at de hoss, I’ll ax ’im ter fetch him roun’.”

“Oh, yes,” I said, “you can ask him to stop in, if he is passing. There will be no harm in looking at the horse, though I rather think I shall buy a mule.”

Early next morning the man brought the horse up to the vineyard. At that time I was not a very good judge of horseflesh. The horse appeared sound and gentle, and, as the owner assured me, had no bad habits. The man wanted a large price for the horse, but finally agreed to accept a much smaller sum, upon payment of which I became possessed of a very fine-looking animal. But alas for the deceitfulness of appearances! I soon ascertained that the horse was blind in one eye, and that the sight of the other was very defective; and not a month elapsed before my purchase developed most of the diseases that horseflesh is heir to, and a more worthless, broken-winded, spavined quadruped never disgraced the noble name of horse. After worrying through two or three months of life, he expired one night in a fit