Etiquette and Vitriol by Nicky Silver (best books to read for students TXT) 📕

she said, “Oh.” I wasn’t satisfied. That wasn’t the comfort I needed. I asked her, “Why?” She thought for a very long time. And then she answered me . . . “No one likes you, Otto. No one likes you and no one ever will. . . .” Well. It’s hard to argue with a figure of such authority as Miss MacFarland. But I knew she was wrong. Or lying. Sometime, somewhere, someday, someone would! I thought Serge did. For a moment—I mean people have pretended to like me, when it suited their needs, if there was something they wanted—help with their homework. But, I thought, Serge . . . I thought . . . well, it doesn’t really matter what I thought at this point, does it?

SERGE: Not really.

OTTO: I HATE MY BODY!!! My skin is so stretched out of whack it’s all different textures! Everything shakes!! I’m afraid to let people see my feet! I have the ugliest feet in the world! I have no nail on my pinkie toe! I’M A FREAK!! I hate the smell of me! My teeth are rotting in my mouth! I have to put antiperspirant on ALL over my body because there’s no telling where some new fold of flesh is going to POP up, spontaneously! I wish I could hope for a change, but at this point I consider it a triumph just getting through the day! I HATE ALL OF YOU VERY MUCH!! I don’t mean that! Now none of you are ever going to like me— YES I DO MEAN IT! None of you are ever going to like me anyway! I gave up on you, Mother, a long time ago! And at this point, Serge, I realize, yes, that YOU are NEVER GOING TO LOVE ME AGAIN! WELL FUCK YOU! That’s all I can say! Because I’m never going to love you again either! And THANK GOD! I AM SICK OF YOU! I AM TIRED OF WEARING THIS UNREQUITED LOVE, LIKE A YOKE AROUND MY NECK! I HOPE YOU DIE! . . .

(With great dignity) Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom, because I FEEL SICK!

(Amanda points, indicating the powder room. Otto exits, grandly and shuts the door behind him.)

AMANDA: He’s unbelievably loquacious.

BEA: You have no idea.

SERGE: I hope he leaves soon.

(There is a gunshot from behind the powder-room door. Amanda, Serge, and Bea rush to the door and open it. Amanda screams in terror and the three of them stand, frozen, horrified, in the powder-room doorway. Ford stands where he was, eating Otto’s discarded groceries. The lights fade, slowly, to darkness.)

END OF PLAY

PTERODACTYLS

Pterodactyls premiered at the Vineyard Theatre (Douglas Aibel, Artistic Director; John Nakagawa, Managing Director), in New York City, in October 1993. It was directed by David Warren; the scene design was by James Youmans; the costume design was by Teresa Snider-Stein; the lighting design was by Donald Holder; the sound design was by Brian Hallas; the fight director was Rick Sordelet; the production stage manager was Karen Loftus. The cast was as follows:

TODD DUNCAN

T. Scott Cunningham

EMMA DUNCAN

Hope Davis

TOMMY MCKORCKLE

Kent Lanier

GRACE DUNCAN

Kelly Bishop

ARTHUR DUNCAN

Dennis Creaghan

CHARACTERS

TODD DUNCAN, 23.

EMMA DUNCAN, 20. Todd’s sister.

TOMMY MCKORCKLE, 22. Emma’s fiancé.

GRACE DUNCAN, 45-50. Todd and Emma’s mother.

ARTHUR DUNCAN, 45-50. Todd and Emma’s father.

PLACE

The elegant living room of the Duncan family

of Main Line, Philadelphia.

TIME

ACT I

Is It Any Wonder I Can’t Remember a Thing?

Summer

ACT II

SCENE 1: An Appropriate Gift

Autumn

SCENE 2: A Walk in the Park

Winter

AUTHOR’S NOTES

Pterodactyls is a play about, among other things, systems of denial and the price they carry in the world today. As such, most of the characters have a specific method of denial (memory loss, alcoholism, abstraction, etc.) and, as a group, the Duncan family lives in a grand mechanism of denial: farce. Drawing freely from theatrical worlds suggested by Philip Barry and Kaufman and Hart, the Duncans muddle along, never noticing a threat until it’s too late. This is not to suggest that the actors can perform even the silliest-seeming moments with anything less than the strongest commitment. No matter how manic or absurd the action, it is based in real need. If it is not, the moments when a darker truth pokes through will fall flat. And the ending, when all efforts to maintain a bright facade have passed, will seem to come from nowhere. We were very blessed in the original production with actors who instinctively understood this juxtaposition of broad comedy and utter despair. What matters is that these conflicting spirits not become muddy. The hard-edged humor should not be softened, nor the rage diluted to achieve a homogenous texture. The texture is not intended to be homogenous. It should be disturbing, and even shocking when harsh reality intrudes.

It is also very important that the character of Todd, who has no comically exaggerated denial mechanism, not be portrayed as “better” than the others. His actions are, objectively, amoral. He may be our way into the play, but he must not be interpreted as superior in any way. That approach would instill an atmosphere of righteousness and throw the play out of balance. Only when Todd is sufficiently cruel will we feel for those he victimizes. Mind you, his cruelty need not be overt; I simply want to indicate that Todd is no more heroic than the other characters.

ACT I

IS IT ANY WONDER

I CAN’T REMEMBER A THING?

The stage is dark. A pool of light comes up on Todd Duncan. Dressed casually, in clothes obviously much, much too big for him, he stands at an easel on which is propped a map of the earth. He carries a pointer. He addresses the audience.

TODD: In the beginning, there were dinosaurs. Lots of dinosaurs. And they were big. They were very, very large—in comparison