I Am What I Am by John Barrowman (white hot kiss .TXT) 📕

up there to be a judge. I’m not a casting director.’ I paused and then added, ‘The viewers will cast this and there’s a good chance they’re not going to cast who you want.’ I avoided him for the rest of the night.

Later, when the show was over and I thought about all that had happened, I think this incident may have been a defining moment for me in that series. The confrontation showed me that when Cameron felt strongly about a particular performer, he would communicate his views passionately. I realized that when the show reached the finals, I might have to balance Cameron’s (and Andrew’s) push for Jessie. From that moment, I decided I was going to stick up for the performers whom I thought could carry a West End show; performers I thought had the temperament and the talent to be in the West End.

A couple of days after this incident, Gavin received a call from Trevor Jackson, Cameron’s casting director, asking if I was okay because he’d heard about the blow-up. He wanted to know if I was angry with Cameron. I said I wasn’t and I meant it. Yeah, Cameron was out of line and behaved badly, but I think he was caught up in the adrenalin of the moment – and the casting of the show – and, well, we’ve all been there.

There’s a pace and a rhythm to these talent shows. At about show six, the crescendo begins, the momentum picks up and the pressure builds. Weaker performers slipped away, but Jodie was getting stronger, and, in her performance of ‘Send in the Clowns’ in week three, I thought I might well, at some point in the contest, see her pulling away from the competition. When the final arrived, as I’d expected, Jessie and Jodie were the two left in the contest for the very last sing-off.

Here was where I believe my experience allowed me to make a judgement call. I realized that after Jessie and Jodie performed in the finale, we would be expected to give our opinion and to offer our advice, but I knew from experience that I could trust the British viewing public to make the right choice and to pick a Nancy they’d fork out to see. In many ways, with these programmes, it almost doesn’t matter what the West End show is, as the public are voting for the performer and they’re going to sell out the production because of that performer.

Denise and I decided that we’d give our opinions strongly in the first show,15 and then we would back off during the second one and let the viewers make their own decisions. In the second programme, we decided to give positive feedback to both Jessie and Jodie.

Honestly, this final contest was one of the best I’ve participated in since Maria. Both Jessie and Jodie sang really well. Their performances made for incredibly competitive and compelling TV.

When Graham Norton, the show’s presenter, asked us for our comments after the contestants’ final songs, both Denise and I praised them equally. Barry knocked Jodie and boosted Jessie. Cameron cut down Jodie and boosted Jessie. Andrew did the same. I looked at Den and shrugged, because we knew that it was out of their hands and maybe, just maybe, they had hurt Jessie’s cause.

After the phone lines closed and before the winner was announced, Graham asked us to make our choice.

‘John, who is your Nancy?’

‘Jodie.’

‘Denise?’

‘Jodie.’

Barry, the Lord and Cameron all picked Jessie.

‘The winning Nancy is …’ – twenty-minute-long dramatic pause – ‘… Jodie!’

Denise and I jumped up so fast, I felt dizzy. We threw ourselves into each other’s arms. I was in tears and was punching the air like a madman.

After the excitement calmed, and the show ended, I did what I’d done every week in every one of the shows on which I’d been judging: I went over to the family and the supporters of the performer who had lost and I told them that I thought their daughter or son was talented and would go far. I did this to every Maria and to every Joseph and to every Nancy who lost.

Only twice have my condolences gone badly. Once, I had a parent lash out at me. You know what? I’d likely behave in the same way if it were my son or daughter. It was always a hugely emotional moment for everyone involved.

What’s really important for all of us to remember about these particular talent shows is that they put bums on theatre seats and 90 per cent of the finalists find work in musical theatre. Jessie was no exception. She was not Nancy, but she was good enough to perform in Stephen Sondheim’s A Little Night Music in the West End, and she was wonderful.

TABLE TALK #4

‘There’s an Iguana in the Toilet and He’s Grinning at Me’

Ever since one of the first family Christmas shows starring yours truly, Clare and Turner, when they played two of the von Trapp children and Turner belted out, ‘So long, farewell, my feet are saying goodbye’ instead of ‘Auf wiedersehen, goodbye,’1 I’ve loved working with children. And I’m especially thrilled when children recognize me and ask me for my autograph – or, more accurately, when they ask to have a picture taken with Captain Jack.

One day, when I was in Costco, a young boy and his mother came up to me as I was finishing paying for my industrial cartload at the checkout. She said her son had been watching me going up and down the aisles, and finally he’d asked her why Captain Jack was shopping in Costco.

Why, indeed.

For younger children who are Doctor Who fans (and who are too young to watch Torchwood ), when they see me in a store, on the street, or at the movies, it’s Captain Jack they see, and not John Barrowman. I took the mum’s lead and said to her son that Jack was undercover. I’d heard from the Doctor that